Having a poo in someone else's house - Is there an etiquette for you?

[UniqueFinch]

So this is a question that I never really thought I would be asking on MN. Curiosity has now got the better of me. I had a discussion with my DM recently and she said wouldn't ever have a poo in someone else's house. To be honest, I haven't found myself in a situation where I've been in someone else's house and I've really needed to have one. I usually only go at home or in the workplace toilet. If I was on holiday I would go in the hotel bathroom, or if I was on a plane or train I would use the toilet there. I would basically have one anywhere if I really needed to, as most people presumably would, but there is something about going in someone's house other than my own that makes me not want to.
Is there a certain friendship or relationship threshold that you need to be at with someone to be comfortable with it? For example would you go in a close friend or family member's house, but not someone who is just an acquaintance? I probably wouldn't want to in any of those scenarios.

Same here. I'm always astonished that there are so many people who seem to think it's normal to time a single daily poo into a narrow window first thing in the morning before they need to go out for the day and if you don't fit into that schedule you must have medical issues or an 'unhealthy lifestyle'.

Do they never have to be up and out early somewhere? What if they haven't been when they need to go out? I'd just go later when needed but it seems there people who'd 'just wait until they got home' even if it was hours or even days later, which seems impossible to me and I don't even have any bowel issues.

@NoOneKnowsWhoYouAre "If caught short I'd poop and immediately do a courtesy flush. "

Don't you flush the loo at home???

There's ways of asking.

No but it's clearly personal and just saying "toilet kit??" Or what's in your toilet kit? Are quite blunt ways of asking someone something quite personal.

I'd be more worried about those who put their loo brush in the dishwasher

I wouldn't really have a choice. If I have to go, I have to go. I can't hold in poos for long, nor should you. And occasionally my food goes right through me.

Also department stores, book shops and libraries always make me need a number two. Something about walking slowly and stopping to look at something or peruse a book.

Don't you know what a courtesy flush is?

Its when you flush immediately, even if you haven't fully finished yet, before doing anything else, to ensure the poo is gone as fast as possible to reduce the smell.

It's one of the things I love about our Geberit toilet.. it flushes when you start up the wash/dry cycle, so you're not sat there with whatever you just did stinking out the room for the minutes it takes the wash/dry to complete.

Only at home or in a hotel room that is my own. Never at work! I don't even like going for a wee in public toilets. Hate the thought of sitting where someone else's naked bum has sat. My brain has definitely trained my bowels not to go unless at home.

Haha, I did think the same. I was listening to a particular Arctic Monkey’s song when I created the account which I’ll now not be able to hear the same way.

Nope never had a shit in someone else’s house (luckily never had the runs out somewhere yet) I’ve gone in the workplace toilet but the situation has to be just right eg no one else in the toilet, no one has to see me going in or out and if someone else comes in whilst I’m there I will wait for them to go before I come out. I’m paranoid about the smell, the splash etc. I overheard a conversation between a group of women in the factory canteen once slagging off this poor woman who’d had a poo earlier and they were saying making gagging noises about her and being really horrible and it’s totally put me off going for a poo in earshot of anyone else.

and yes it did happen. Factory floor workers can be absolutely brutal sometimes

Who knew that so many people were so anally retentive. Freud would have a lot to say about this thread I’m sure.

I read somewhere that toilet training your kids was more likely to be successful if you were open and relaxed about toilet use. So we’ve always been very matter of fact and ‘no shame’ about the toilet. Our kids both are also relaxed about the toilet and were out of nappies by 2 years old. We go out a lot and I’m pleased to say they will announce their requirements and go anywhere!

Who are these monsters who use air freshener? It’s an abomination. Just open the window. Light a match if you need to. Don’t try to mask it with some cheap nasty spray.

I try to poo in my own home, but I often I have to poo at work because I walk to work and sometimes that gets my bowels moving, and I can get diarrhea when I am on my period. However, it is a big toilet block that is shared by several units so it is less 'obvious'.

I remember I was staying at my uncle's for about a week as a teenager, and because I was to embarrassed for using his loo I walked to the public loos.

@WiddlinDiddlin "Don't you know what a courtesy flush is?

Its when you flush immediately, even if you haven't fully finished yet, before doing anything else, to ensure the poo is gone as fast as possible to reduce the smell"

I've never heard the expression before-but I still don't understand. I just finish, stand up and flush then wash my hands before doing "anything else"-like hair, makeup, checking my phone. Am I an instinctive "courtesy flusher"? 🤣

Obviously, but if at someone releases house I flush before I wipe then again after. Stops any smell escaping

Makes me really sad that there is still so much sigma around this.
I hate the whole, can you believe this woman did a really smelly shit in the office toilets, no bowel condition, just a minger. Like, how do you know?!
I don’t go around wearing a badge saying I have Crohn’s disease. People most likely think I have no shame stinking out the office toilets.
We are all adults, everyone shits. Really shouldn’t be shameful.

This, I worked in an office like this once. There were two women who would openly go on about someone pooing in the toilet. Usually me. They needed to grow up.

My office is like this. I’ve met someone at the door of the loo before who’s declared loudly ‘don’t go in there, someone’s made it stink!’. Undoubtedly within earshot of the poor culprit.

With age, I've lost the ability to hold on for ages so have to go when out. My main worry is that it won't flush - nothing worse than it getting stuck in the u bend 😳

I would actually take them aside and tell them it's not on, these days. It's bullying.

And my kid's friends! Then they're touching the door handles, remotes etc. That's a good line I'll remember that one 😂 so disgusting.

I have to know - what is a courtesy flush??

You sound completely thick and also quite ableist. Just because you have perfect bowels it doesn't mean the rest of the world do. If I were you I would invest some time in researching the vast multitude of bowel conditions that cause these symptoms before labelling them as 'odd'.