Having a poo in someone else's house - Is there an etiquette for you?

[UniqueFinch]

So this is a question that I never really thought I would be asking on MN. Curiosity has now got the better of me. I had a discussion with my DM recently and she said wouldn't ever have a poo in someone else's house. To be honest, I haven't found myself in a situation where I've been in someone else's house and I've really needed to have one. I usually only go at home or in the workplace toilet. If I was on holiday I would go in the hotel bathroom, or if I was on a plane or train I would use the toilet there. I would basically have one anywhere if I really needed to, as most people presumably would, but there is something about going in someone's house other than my own that makes me not want to.
Is there a certain friendship or relationship threshold that you need to be at with someone to be comfortable with it? For example would you go in a close friend or family member's house, but not someone who is just an acquaintance? I probably wouldn't want to in any of those scenarios.

My system shuts down once I leave the house, which is annoying if staying with friends or on holiday as a few days in and you enter the birthing a poo stage ! Happy for anyone else to poo here and I had a friend who worked outdoors who would regularly swing by for a poo and a coffee !

I used to be like this now I just don't give a shit... oh, hang on... actually, I can't. I need to give it a go in (gasp!).someone else's toilet! 😳😅🙉😬

It's what a toilet is for.

Have the poo. It's OK.

Just don't throw it out of the window when it won't flush.
And don't try to get it back when it gets stuck in between the window and a grille.
And definitely don't climb out and try to retrieve it.
And if you do, just don't get stuck.
On a first date.

Everything else- fine.

I don't go out of the house either but I don't actually need to. I rarely go for a wee in work either, I don't avoid going just rarely feel the need. Funnily if we're out and about on a walk I'll go for a wee whenever I see a toilet, just in case there isn't one for a while.

Holidays it can sometimes take a few days for me to go, though that has improved recently.

When I need a poo the urge usually comes on relatively quickly, so I go anywhere and everywhere. I wouldn’t be able to hold one in. I go at work, in shops, friends houses, restaurants etc.
I know everyone is different and bodies are different but quite a few of my friends/colleagues (and my mum!) all say they’d never be able to poo work, and just never, ever do. But I do at
least once a week!

I’ll poo wherever. It would make me feel a bit sick to hold it in for a long time.

i only use my loo,i will often try and hold my bladder too until im home.
the same while away on holidays i cannot go until im home ive got ibs and often go weeks before needing a poo.

I used to be so weird about this and paranoid and only go at home but then I got Crohn's and ended up with a stoma. I used to think god was playing tricks on me for that.
Now I couldn't give a f*ck, I have to empty my bag frequently and will do it anywhere 😂 but it's fine as doesn't smell and it's a small amount so doesn't bother me

It's a bit uncouth in some ways, yes, but it's like being prudish about bodily functions and body parts before childbirth... once you have had a baby, anything like bodily functions and medical profesaionals peering at intimate bits just seems less worrying or prudish. It's all the same, no matter who you are.

I know there's social etiquette etc but at the end of the day, we are just human. Nobody truly cares that much, I'm sure. And if they do, so what?

I don't have IBS. But I do go multiple times a day and when I need to go there is no way I could delay for very long. I've always been that way. Maybe it's because I am vegetarian, eat a lot of seeds etc. This thread has opened up a whole new perspective on humanity for me.

I was bright up to believe it was uncouth to poo outside the home, something to be avoided if possible.
I have done them in public toilets when I've really needed to, but usually go before I leave the house in the morning and that's me done for the day. I wouldn't go in someone else's home unless I was desperate.

I can't go in other places. I physically cannot. When I go on holiday, or visit friends/family for days it takes me at least a day or two to "settle".

It's a pain in the butt(literally sometimes) because I can get the need to go, even cramping ,pains,sweats etc but I can sit for ages and nothing comes out except a fart or two.

Peeing however, anything goes , especially since I have the bladder of a newborn.

I truly don't understand how people can hold it for hours and hours, if I need to go I have to go and disaster would strike if I tried to hold off for more than say 30 minutes

Like most people I prefer using my own loo at home! But if I'm staying at a friend's house I would do a poo in their loo - I'm an every morning regular as clockwork pooer 😂

I really wish I was one of those people who had a say in the matter. Like 'oh I would never do this I would just wait until I got home.' When you have IBS, IBD or any of the other unpredictable bowel conditions you just don't get the choice. When you have to go you have to go.

I do hate it though. I was once caught out at a relatively new friend's house. It was the first time I'd been round and I knew from our chats how house proud she was. I think it was maybe nerves that contributed to the sudden, explosive reaction from my bowels. It really was horrendous and I tried to be as discreet as I could but I was so paranoid she'd heard everything or that I'd left some sort of evidence.

My work loo is a single tiny cubicle wedged between two offices where you can hear everything, so if I need to go at work I have to make an excuse to go to another section of the building where there's a bit more privacy.

It's draining being like this but I simply don't always have the option to wait.

Its like when you work on site in a job, in small offices. You cant really take a poo where theres only 1 toilet for all staff to use if you know its going to be a stinker. If theres air freshner then if you spray it every one knows youve done a turd. And if you dont spray it then it smells bad. But someone elses house is a bit ripe.
The funniest thing is staying over a new partners house and having a pap there for the first time. Or when you go away for first time and share a toilet. Grim.

I second this! As a colitis sufferer I really dont have a choice if I need to go! Surely it's better in a toilet than in my pants 🤣!

I had a tradesman here recently for several days and he spent AGES in the toilet a couple of mornings. Just grim.

I don't begrudge him per se, but I did don gloves and spend quite a while disinfecting all the surfaces.

Personally I don't do it anywhere but home. People need to regulate their diet and their habits to minimize going elsewhere, in my opinion. (Medical issues aside, of course.)

Would also add that I have no issue going in public loos where you feel anonymous. With me it's the self consciousness that people will know 'oh look flopsy has just been for a shit.'

As if I'm the only person in the world that does it. Bizarre I know.

Funnily enough, I remember years ago in my first job, a colleague used to poo with abandon and no self consciousness whatsoever at work - I could hear the plopping sounds as she was going... 🙉😅😳 I used to actually think it was damned impressive that she just did what she needed to and didn't care. I think it made me feel more at ease using the loo for a poo at work after that!

Toilet kit??

My son never likes 💩 pooing in other people’s houses.
He’s an adult now with own house , and will still poo here if he has to - but when he was a child on school trips for several days away he’d really hold it back.
I’d say not to do that, as it’s really not healthy to hold on to poo that needs to be freed.

He’s very clean and never leaves skids.

I too dislike using other people ‘s loos for poos.

I think it shows how different we all are physiologically. Unless, I’m severely ill, I never have an ‘urge’. I go first thing in the morning and last thing at night, but if I’m staying at friends’ the need just doesn’t happen. It’s like my brain just switches it off.

If I’m in a hotel, I go as normal.

I used to get really bad shy bowels when I was younger. But now I'll go wherever