Having a poo in someone else's house - Is there an etiquette for you?

[UniqueFinch]

So this is a question that I never really thought I would be asking on MN. Curiosity has now got the better of me. I had a discussion with my DM recently and she said wouldn't ever have a poo in someone else's house. To be honest, I haven't found myself in a situation where I've been in someone else's house and I've really needed to have one. I usually only go at home or in the workplace toilet. If I was on holiday I would go in the hotel bathroom, or if I was on a plane or train I would use the toilet there. I would basically have one anywhere if I really needed to, as most people presumably would, but there is something about going in someone's house other than my own that makes me not want to.
Is there a certain friendship or relationship threshold that you need to be at with someone to be comfortable with it? For example would you go in a close friend or family member's house, but not someone who is just an acquaintance? I probably wouldn't want to in any of those scenarios.

Agree completely with previous posters that air freshener makes it smell worse. All it does make it smell like shit mixed with flowers. It gives me a headache as well.

Poo pourri is better, we have it in the work toilets

Toilet kit - Aldi disposible wipes, small toothbrush in a case to remove any unwanted marks, microfibre cloth, small liquid soap and a Sol pooper swooper toilet spray from Amazon.

When you flush as you go along

This courtesy flush, I'm imagining all these people twisting around and flushing and getting spray up their bums before they've finished wiping, not to mention pulled muscles in their back and shoulders.
The mind boggles, how to do the perfect courtesy flush with no injury and no wet ass.

Do the first flush after you have done your poo then finish whatever else you have to do then flush again.

But why would you do that?

I understand if the bowl isn't cleared the first time, but flushing as you go along is just a waste of water.

A courtesy flush is helpful, as it can disguise the noise if you time it right. It also reduces the smell, as the poo isn’t in the water for long.

I’m a big fan of the courtesy flush.

I never go for one in someone else's house. I don't like staying at people's houses though so I'm never really in a position where I need to.

You carry a shitty toothbrush around with you?

1. She's not using it on her teeth.
2. She's keeping it in a case to keep the poo off her other stuff.
3. If people all had loo brushes and displayed them prominently on the floor beside the loo, she wouldn't need to carry her own cleaning materials.

Following point three, loo etiquette in HouseOfAle is:

1. If you make a mess, clean it up with the brush and wipes that I have prominently displayed near the loo so that you can find them easily to clean up after yourself.
2. Bin wipes and san pro, don't flush them.
3. Poos are welcome, just crack the window open and close the door when you leave.
4. Lid down when flushing to keep bacterial aerosol in and CatOfAle out.
5. Help yourself to san pro if you need it, that's why it's displayed in a tray on top of the cistern. I wouldn't wish a gusset lined with scrunched-up loo roll on my worst enemy.
6. Wash your hands. There's moisturiser there for the sensitive-of-skin to use afterwards.

Basically, your body does what it needs to do and I don't expect you to suppress or disguise that, but I do expect you to leave the place as you'd like to find it.

I can't stop thinking about the courtesy flush. So you flush AS you poo? You poo into the flushing water? Doesn't your bottom get splashed?

I'd never do a courtesy flush - what if it then doesn't flush again when you are done? Some cisterns take ages to fill up and some flushes are very finicky.

Try it and report back 😁

I can’t get past the hilarity of the expression ‘courtesy flush’. It sounds like it was coined by the kind of person who says ‘Beg pardon’ all the time, refers to going to the loo as ‘pumping ship’ and has a ‘good lady wife’.

I agree with a pp who thinks that a ‘courtesy flush’ risks meaning you’re stuck in someone’s loo for ages, waiting for the cistern to refill.

Oh god. I couldn't imagine carrying a shitty make-do toilet tooth brush with me. I don't care if it's in a cosmetic bag. Sorry that's nasty. 🤢

Why don't you consider yourself fortunate that you're not at risk of having to do a full clean up in a public place due to a bowel disorder?

It was quite obvious what the poster who first mentioned the toilet kit was talking about and she shouldn't have to suffer further indignity from posters with limited imaginations who can't see past their own experience where their lives and bowels are so predictable that they never have to prepare for such eventualities.

I used to be friends with two sisters who made a point of going at the pub. Once, we all got ready for a night out at one of their houses and they both announced they needed a shit as we were about to leave. I was like no probs, I'll wait. We we were walking there so not waiting for a taxi or anything. They both insisted they'd go at the pub. Wtf?? I'd go at the pub if I had to but I wouldn't go out of my way to do it when I could have gone at home.

If I need to poo, then I go to a toilet and poo. That is what toilets are for.

Granted, I am pretty regular and normally go once a day, in the morning so I'm usually at home. But I have had a poo at work and at other people's houses if I've needed to go.

My work toilets have air freshener in them (no windows) so I use that. People are welcome to poo at my house if they need to, we keep a room spray in the downstairs loo so they could use that or crack the window open. It's fine. Just close the door when you're done.

Everyone has to poo, I really don't understand the shame associated with it.

How do those who dont/won't go except at home manage at an airport, on a long flight or on holiday?
What about Japanese toilets? Those that flush, spray and blow dry?

For all the confused people, I will explain how to do a courtesy flush.

The second your poo lands in the bowl, you flush. That way the smell is minimised.
After that, you do your wiping and then flush as normal.
Is it a waste of water? Yes.
Is it a confidence booster for the poo shy out there? Also yes.

Well obviously if the person has IBS or a medical condition that's completely different.

I’m pretty sure anyone that feels they need to carry a toilet kit (me included) has some sort or bowel condition. However, people mocking it or laughing about really don’t help.

For me it's just about not wanting to smell other people's shit or have them smell mine. Just like I wouldn't fart in my friends living room. If you're in someone's house and do a poo, you have no idea how long it's going to be until they or someone else uses that loo? That's my main issue

But it's fairly easy to avoid farting in their living room, you just go to the loo to do it. If I need to poo, I need to poo, there's no avoiding doing it in my friend's bathroom. The alternative to going in their bathroom would be shitting myself, so am sure anyone would prefer me to just use the bathroom.