Having a poo in someone else's house - Is there an etiquette for you?

[UniqueFinch]

So this is a question that I never really thought I would be asking on MN. Curiosity has now got the better of me. I had a discussion with my DM recently and she said wouldn't ever have a poo in someone else's house. To be honest, I haven't found myself in a situation where I've been in someone else's house and I've really needed to have one. I usually only go at home or in the workplace toilet. If I was on holiday I would go in the hotel bathroom, or if I was on a plane or train I would use the toilet there. I would basically have one anywhere if I really needed to, as most people presumably would, but there is something about going in someone's house other than my own that makes me not want to.
Is there a certain friendship or relationship threshold that you need to be at with someone to be comfortable with it? For example would you go in a close friend or family member's house, but not someone who is just an acquaintance? I probably wouldn't want to in any of those scenarios.

I go about 3 times a day so definitely cannot just go at home. I go wherever I need to. What choice do I have? I clearly do not have a sluggish digestive system and cannot wait until I get home

There used to be a website called ratemypoo.com and another called something like roll a poo in glitter. Very odd.. unless you're a teenage boy of course.

Thank you for sharing.

So its not some sort of secret, private, unicorn horn that @lasagnelle might make us all think! 🙄

I strongly prefer to go at home. I might go elsewhere if I really have to, but I would try to engineer things so it’s as private as possible. For example, I have an early flight tomorrow and probably won’t manage to go at home before we have to leave - I like the loo in the carpark at Heathrow, that’s a nice quiet one 😂.

I have had strategies at every workplace and at uni used to go to a loo on a quiet corridor. It’s funny, because I have a dd and 2 ds and my boys insist that dd and I never poo - I explain that it is because we are discreet and don’t leave a mess. I definitely wouldn’t make myself feel unwell to avoid it though.

I endeavour to alleviate my bowels in my own nest only. If unexpected circumstances prevail then I always do a courtesy flush (or three if something is a bit out of kilter).

I... don't have friends who would care if I went for a poo in their bathroom... thats what bathrooms are for.

Similarly, my friends do not have 'purely decorative' loo brushes.

I tend to look at what is present in the room, so if theres VIPoo or similar pre-poo toilet spray, I'll use it. If theres a can of air fresher, I'll use it. If there's an extractor fan... etc.

I clean up after myself, so I will assume if you provide a loo brush, its for cleaning the loo with. If there isn't one and I have left a mark I will ask my host (discreetly, not in front of a whole dinner table) what their preferred option is and go back and do that..

all this before i was disabled. I can't do all this now and either use a shower toilet or need assistance

I strongly recommend people don't force themselves to hold in anything if they need to go, it is HORRIBLY bad for bladder and bowel/rectum to do this and can contribute to some serious problems in your not that distant future. Which ironically will lead you to be far more likely to have to poo on someone elses toilet.

Dear God, what is wrong with some people? A loo is just a loo, no matter where it is. Just perform your bodily functions as and when needed, without all this unnecessary fuss.

I’d be wary of pooing in any house belonging to one of those MNers who think toilet brushes are the work of Satan. What if there are, er, traces?

It was their first rental and a very tall building built in 2000. By 2022-23 the kitchen and bathroom were very dated. The landlord wouldn't spend money and the rent was cheap so they saved and saved and bought a house.

Nope, I can not shit at someone else's house. If I have to stay over I'd rather take an Imodium than need to shit in someone else's home. I fear it would be a weak flusher and still be floating or I'd block the toilet with a ginormous poo, that I would have to manually remove and throw out the window. Or they would need the bathroom the second I leave the bathroom, and the smell would be pungent. Or maybe I'd leave a skid mark and they have no toilet brush next to the toilet?

A toilet is a toilet, when in rome etc

There’s so much that can go wrong with having a poo, an unflushable one being the main risk. I’d really prefer to not poo anywhere apart from in my own home.
I also hate it when people poo in my house, MIL and BIL being the main offenders. They leave terrible smells and terrible skid marks. Disgusting.

If I am out in public and there's one loo and a queue, I just can not poo at all knowing someone is waiting.

This happened once on a campsite with one loo, no one was around and the toilet had been empty for ages, decided to go for a poo and as soon as my bum cheeks hit the seat someone was trying to get in.

If I am around someone's house, I put paper down the loo first, not only does this dampen down sounds but also doesn't leave skid marks.

I think my biggest fear of pooing elsewhere is you don't know the reliability of the flush!!!

I would never..! I find it a bit odd that people need to go at unpredictable times. I’ve never had that happen to me ever, even when ill! I’ve probably had diarrhoea once in my whole life and don’t you just stay home because you are ill?? Aren’t most people eating regular meals and have fairly consistent lifestyles so I just don’t understand why people ‘suddenly’ need to go! Or rush to the loo. Unless you’ve got health issues. Honestly I think if you do have to suddenly rush to the loo and it’s that unpredictable you likely have health problems or live a poor lifestyle.. maybe both! I’m clearly in the minority based on this thread but honestly I can’t relate to this ‘sudden’ need to go!

No etiquette for me. If I need a poo I'll head to the nearest toilet. That's what they're for. I'd find it utterly ridiculous if anyone in my home felt they couldn't use the toilet for normal toilet activities!

Only etiquette for me would be to use toilet brush to remove skid marks.

If there was only one toilet and I felt I might be in there a while I might forewarn very close family or friends. Can't remember the last time that happened though.

I would say you have some sort of intolerance to something tbh!

IT IS NOT UNCOUTH TO TAKE A SHIT!!!

i have occasional nightmares of being back in secondary school, needing to go for a number 2, but there’s something wrong with all the cubicles (no door, no paper, door too low, gap below door too high, loads of people outside cubicle door). Would never go in public if could avoid it!

It s a toilet, connected to a sewer, with flushing water and toilet paper there to use. I don’t see the issue. Leave it clean, wash your hands and go. 🤷‍♀️
What happens if you stay at a friend’s Hoyse for the weekend or they stay at yours?

I have crohns so don’t always have the ability to wait. If I feel I can, I will absolutely wait until I go home. But sometimes it’s a case of I go now or I’ll end up going on the sofa of the persons house I’m visiting and I figure the toilet is the lesser of two evils.

I always try and go for a bathroom with a window wherever possible. Clean up the toilet after. That kind of thing.

I worked in a school when I first qualified. We had a training day. At coffee time all the female staff ( about 6 people) went to the closkroom. It was a big room but with only 1 toilet cubicle. The first teacher went in and did a huge shit.It stank. I was partly revolted and partly astonished that anyone, at the head of a queue of multiple other people, could actually physically do that.

I do admire this and wish I could think and feel the same as you. Free the inner 💩!