Do you turn your phone off or put it on silent when you go to sleep?

[Izzabellasasperella]

I assumed everyone does this when going to sleep.
I suffer from occasional insomnia so I replied to a text from a friend thinking they would see it in the morning or whenever.
I received a very shitty reply telling me off for texting so late.
It has upset me me due to the tone of the text.
This person has no kids or older parents where maybe they need to be contactable at anytime.
Obviously I will text tomorrow (at a reasonable time) and apologise.
I am curious though to know if anyone goes to sleep with their phone on?
I wouldn't sleep at all if mine was on and next to me due to the pointless notifications from WhatsApp/ Facebook etc 😀

Mine is on silent 24/7 and usually flat battery in an office drawer. I hate he thinks and rarely use it.

Because in an emergency, someone might ring from an unknown number or a different phone, or may not think to ring twice if you don't pick up the first time.

Mines always on, mums in a care home now but previously was at home with carers and has Alzheimer's - in an emergency I'm the first point of contact.
Eldest son is now out later too so first point of contact for him too
DH does his on calls from home so I'm used to being woken up at night by the phone
TBF the phone isn't an issue, insomnia, arthritis pain and a snoring husband are.

Yes, phones are turned off at night and left downstairs.
If anyone needed us in an emergency they can ring the landline.

I think DND with exceptions for close family is normal.

I think I'd respond to the friend 'oh, I'm so sorry - I guess I assumed everyone set do not disturb nowadays'
...a bit sorry not sorry but really, it's within her control.

DND automatically cuts in and out at the time you set it for - no "faffing around" needed! 🤣

On silent (friends and family in different time zones) but reading this thread I’m going to now put on DND for certain people. Thank you Mumsnet community.

i think your friend is being very unreasonable. She controls the alerts she gets. Passive aggressively send her a link on how to use the DND feature on her device.

Left on.
Other side of the room as far away from my head as possible!

I get annoyed by late or early pings but I just curse the senders behind their backs as I know I could switch the phone off or silence it if I wanted.

I personally don't text or message people between 1030pm and 9.30am at the weekend or 8.30am weekdays in case anyone else is like me.

I was wakened at 5am and 8am this morning by pings. Growled and returned to my sleep.

I think if it's an emergency someone will ring a second time if it's not answered the first time!

My phones never off silent but never turn it off at night just incase if emergency the one time I did turn it off mum ended up in hospital so lesson learnt

@WhitePhantom not necessarily - they may go to the next emergency contact.

I know it's unlikely but I can understand why people don't have their phones fully on silent or trust DND mode. When DH's mum was sick, we got phone calls from all kinds of unknown or unsaved numbers, or messages via social media etc.

Your choice, but you are likely to find a lot of things difficult if you don't use a smartphone. It's become a reasonable assumption that everybody has one and regularly checks it, and important systems are set up accordingly. Recent example: my Mum, who is nearly 92 and a technophobe, only had her landline listed as the contact for her credit card issuer. Their security department tried to text her recently to ask if an unusual transaction was genuine, followed up by automated messages to her landline. Goodness knows whether the text got through to the landline at all but the automated messages were there when she got back from a few days away and she assumed they were attempted scams, so ignored them. Card frozen! 20 minute wait to speak to the security department on the phone and a 10 minute call to sort it all out (falling to me as Mum is too deaf and too anxious to handle things like this now). Fortunately I have power of attorney so can deal with this stuff for her. We have now set things up so that my mobile number is listed as the primary contact. I would have seen that text and acted on it immediately, because I do check my smartphone regularly.

Not just important systems set up on that assumption, either. It's become so standard that most people assume everyone is contactable all the time and would proceed accordingly. I'm in my 60s so had to learn a lot of new ways when the internet and mobile phones arrived. There are many advantages, as long as you know what you're doing.

Genuine question, why don't you use Do Not Disturb or silence the notifications? It seems odd to have disturbed sleep when you could avoid it.

My mobile is never turned off.

can you not imagine any reason at all why anyone would have their phone on overnight? In my case, I listen to a podcast to help me get off to sleep.

my phone is on dnd at night. Only mom and kids Can get through. Then again my phone is on silent 24/7. if I get a call or text my watch buzzes on my wrist to alert me.

@WillowTit having phone on dnd doesn’t affect alarms. They still go off.

You're probably unusual now in having a landline. We no longer have one and I'd be surprised if anybody under 40 has ever had one.

I keep my off, but no way would I text someone at unsociable hours in case they have theirs on.

Very selfish of you and yes you need to apologise.

Genuinely baffled by the number of folks that think having their phone on silent means alarms won't work. Of course they do!
Would respond with a brisk, 'sorry, I assumed most people have their phone on silent at night. Won't do it again'

If any mobile phone providers are reading this, you ought to make it a default setting that Do Not Disturb comes up as one of the first things to be set when somebody gets a new phone. Simple, noddy level instructions on screen about what to do and why.

We don't seem to have worked out any conventions about mobile use that everybody knows and sticks to. It would help if we did.

I put my mobile phone on silent overnight, but very few people have my mobile number and if anyone wanted me urgently, they would ring my landline.

I never turn mine of . I worry to much incase one of my adult kids need me or if something happens to them.

I'm probably being a bitch . But my children's father turns his phone off leaves it down stairs. Touch wood nothing ever happens but if something happend to the kids in the night I would never be able to get hold of him.

Yep. Thinking about it, all the urgent phone calls I've had (day or night) have come from strangers/acquaintances. My MIL' s neighbour's, my elderly aunt's neighbours, my mum's ex (the hospital still had him as nok). In all those cases I very much doubt that any of those people (all elderly) would have known that you have to phone twice to bypass DND.

Just have dnd on for messages and apps but off for calls if you’re wanting to make sure people can ring you off a random number in an emergency.

Everybody's circumstances are different. If I got a call in the middle of the night about my Mum at least I could start preparing for the long journey north and set off as early as possible. If I didn't know till I woke up in the morning it might not even be possible to get there that day. If I got a call about my daughter, who lives nearby, I could get a taxi to be with her. If I got a call about my son, who lives with us, it would mean he'd been in some sort of emergency while out so I would want to be with him too. (Ditto husband, but he's rarely out without me!)

Mine is always on silent, and I have notifications off on everything. I want to be in charge of my phone, not it be in charge of me! That said, I wouldn’t text someone after about 10pm or before 8am.

PS All the people who leave their phones downstairs while they sleep - what if there was a fire in the night? Very unlikely, I know, but I've never forgotten a friend who had a catastrophic house fire saying that one of the most annoying practical problems was that all the house keys had been lost because they were all downstairs.