Daugher not happy with gift we gave her

[jouxlake]

We bought our daughter an expensive jewellery gift for her birthday, she chose it, it was plus GBP1,000. She chose it, she apparently loved it, tonight she messaged me and said 'I don't like it, can we return it'. which I know is not an option. Turns out her boyfriend said he didn't like it, prefers the next up design which is double the price. I am livid at how impressionable she is, livid at him for undermining a gift from her parents. But overall, I am fucking so upset and really gutted that she had no appreciation for what gifted her.

Boyfriend can buy the more expensive one Christ

£1000 on a gift and she's that ungrateful tell her no problem you'll have it back but won't be exchanging it but keeping it for you instead and next time don't get her anything expensive entitled little madam

Glad to see your update op

Return it. Say you are sorry she didn’t like it and that her reaction was hurtful considering the time, cost and effort that went into getting it. Don’t get her anything else that is ‘big’. Maybe an afternoon tea somewhere local just the two of you. You’ve replaced the jewellery with an arguably a better value life lesson. Don’t bring it up again especially in fights. And keep an eye on this boyfriend. Do not let him come between you both. Just be there.

It's strange that the boyfriend looked up a more expensive necklace from the same range. What's that about? He's training your daughter to try to extract more from her parents, or he's just crass with no clue what's polite?

Keep the necklace for yourself
Ans tell her, her and her boyfriend can save for the necklace that she wants

Have the jewelry back and keep it for yourself. Tell her she is a spoilt brat and won’t be getting anything else until she grows her own mind.

RTFT.

Excellent update @jouxlake . And a bonus that the boyfriend apologised too.

This is perfection!! Love it 😀

It's still a major amount of money to model sensible spending decisions with.

Good news op

@saraclara don’t tell me what to do! Nothing to do with you is it.

Great update @jouxlake I am so glad the necklace is now back to being very special for both of you again. And great that the boyfriend apologised too. It was a learning experience for him too.

Nothing in OP's posts implies this is a girl who doesn't know the value of money.

An expensive present from parents to children on a milestone birthday isn't unusual. My parents gave me €1k for my 21st and that was 20 years ago! I can assure you I wasn't spoiled, and it wasn't asked for.

In this case, the parents wanted to get a keepsake and they chose it together with the daughter. That's modelling generosity, which is also important.

Anyway all's well that ends well hopefully.

Return it.

Have the jewelry back and keep it for yourself.

Keep the necklace for yourself

All since you posted your update.

OP just cancel the cheque and have done with it 😁

Good update, I'm glad it's all OK again.

What a spolied ungrateful b!
She needs a salutary lesson!
I would tell her to return it to you and you will wear it yourself or gift it to someone else who is more appreciative!

still baking!!? what a load of rubbish!

Exactly this. I had some lovely gifts off of my beautiful mum, some weren't my taste at all. I never told her. I was always grateful, because she'd taken the time to find, and buy, something she thought I'd like. They were special because they were from her

But you determined that by yourself.

I absolutely would demand it back - given it was considered sub-par to the dd - and would tell her there wouldn't be another gift going forward... As in no replacement.

'never ever' are your words.

£1000 gift for a 20 year old?

DD needs a slap, and her ignoramus boyfriend needs a harder slap.

Dude feel free to be all language-fluid and 'what is meaning, anyway?' - but in the real world everyone else would interpret 'going forward' to mean 'in the future', as I did.

Yes, in the real world I am often called Dude.

I was such a twat. My parents gave me beautiful and very expensive jewellery for my 18th and 21st birthdays.
As a now 62 year old hopefully slightly less of a twat I love that jewellery and am very grateful to my parents.
OP your daughter will grow into her present 💝

😁you are adorably literal.

Well taking my advice would save you looking a bit of an idiot in future, but hey. If what you like to do is give advice long after the OP has updated with a resolution that is the opposite of your advice, feel free to carry on. After all you have lots of company on this thread.

Spoiled brat with a controlling boyfriend. No gifts from now on. Period.

Did she originally like it @jouxlake ? If she did, keep hold of it. If and when they break up she might have regrets about being so easily influenced.