Daugher not happy with gift we gave her

[jouxlake]

We bought our daughter an expensive jewellery gift for her birthday, she chose it, it was plus GBP1,000. She chose it, she apparently loved it, tonight she messaged me and said 'I don't like it, can we return it'. which I know is not an option. Turns out her boyfriend said he didn't like it, prefers the next up design which is double the price. I am livid at how impressionable she is, livid at him for undermining a gift from her parents. But overall, I am fucking so upset and really gutted that she had no appreciation for what gifted her.

That’s such good news

She cares because the DD liked the gift and chose it herself. It was only when the boyfriend got involved that she changed her mind. Woukd that not concern you @Ottersmith? She isn’t slagging her off, she’s upset and has posted for advice. What a bizarre comment!!

Why does she care so much?
This must be the most bizarre comment ever.

Good update OP!

Tell her you need it back to exchange it. Then sell it, get as much of your money back as you can, and keep the money for yourself

Isn't the 21st the milestone? Even then that's a massive expense i don't know anyone who's spent that much for a 21st.
I'd explain to boyfriend if he has money to spend he can choose to do so but most people have budgets and are saving for homes etc.

Tbh you should be livid at yourself for spending a grand on jewellery for a 20 yo

Ungrateful, spoilt child!!!! Get the boyfriend to buy the present then since he prefers that one😂😂😂

Great news, op. Really happy for you. And for your DD.

Now, time to start operation bf-has-to-go.

OP has explained more than once that 20 is the milestone where she is, not 21.

A grand on a present? Sorry but you obviously have more money than sense. Maybe if she worked for what she wanted instead of being spoilt she wouldn't be so bloody ungrateful.

Really good news OP.

How are you feeling now?

Glad to hear that OP

Glad it all came good OP!

My late parents commissioned a piece of jewelry for me for my 21st. It's unique and lovely but I didn't care for it that much at the time. (Not that I said so, of course) But I was 21, basically self centred and a bit stupid.
But I treasure it so much now.
And if a boyfriend had ventured any adverse opinion on it at all he would have been sharply kicked to the kerb. Your DD's boyfriend sounds over-opinionated and just plain rude not very bright.

Take it back say you'll exchange it and get your money back and keep it

A milestone birthday is one a family generally chooses. Different cultures have different milestones. In OP's it is 20.

The bf is the red flag here with some red flags around their relationship dynamic as a whole.

It’s almost worrying how many people on this thread that don’t have a clue about this 😂 and get shitty about it too. 🫧

I want to see a picture of the £1000 necklace! The concept of getting one is very far removed from me life 😂

Pleased you got the apology @jouxlake x

A good update! 💐

👌

I think you held a mirror up to her and she didn't like what she saw
All good learning experiences for her and bf. Glad it's over.

A grand on a birthday present is very, very, VERY generous. And she acts like a total ingrate.
I'd perhaps understand her reaction if you'd picked something that was really not her style. But she chose it herself!
If the boyfriend likes the next style up then he can buy it himself.
Remind your DD that she chose the item and she's incredibly lucky to have such generous parents. Even if it were paid for with her own money, her boyfriend doesn't need to like everything she owns. In fact, it's healthy to disagree sometimes and have healthy boundaries.

Hopefully she'll grow up a bit soon. Twenty is still very young.

You are a wonderful mum and deserve a better daughter.

Why are you so put out by what others spend? They can obviously afford it and it was meant to be a special present.