Ye Olde Worlde Mumsnette

[Sharrilanda]

Share some historical MN dilemmas and stories.
What kind of posts do you think we would be reading if MN was around in the good old days of yore?

Oh I blusheth to recall that evening. I have a recollection of going after the Tavern to the seller of mysterious animal parts in some bread - I thinketh they call it a ‘burger’? - and a young swain offered to walk me to my dwelling. I declined as my husband would not have approved and might have run him through but it was fun to be noticed, even if the swain did have warts and no teeth. Fie such larks.

My husband sayeth that I looke like a Flanders Mare. Should I seeke to divorce myself frome the barstard?

Verily, thou should leave hastily, with thy head held high. And not on the floor.

Verily - but ensure that you get a deluxe barge, a number of verye desirable residences and a stonkynge great settlement - and ensureth that he calls you his deare sister - you do not wante to gette suckèd back into that messe again!

Thou art lovely as a summer's day! Thine husband's sight is clearly failing. Syphilis will verily do that I'm afraid.

Deareste Gentlewomen of Mumsnette, pray - what art thou offering thy offspringe for sustenance this very eve?
Forsooth, I am fed uppe to the backe tooth of dishing uppe the same olde fayre.

Helpe!

@Sharrilanda adding herbes and tinctures can make even Turnip Surprise less tedious.
It be prime season go mushrooming, but be careful which you pick. I added a few woodland mushrooms to dinner last week and had quite the adventure. At one point I swear I saw through time, and I'm almost certain I licked a goat.

I find that ye Kensington Fried Swanne (KFS) is always a most popular comestible if ye can't be arsed to knocke something up from scrattche.

Hast thou heard of the potato? Tis a new import from the colonies.

I did trye this, along with thatte other new import, the tobacco.
Frankly, ye tobacco was mighty chewy and ye potato was like eating a rocke and gave me the aches. I think they both be bad poisons.

I wolde wager my finest chemise that he is no oyle payntynge hymselfe.

Thou wouldst be well-advised to be more cautious Mistress Howard. I hear he is much taken with thee.

Attention ye peasants.

I hereby declare that the post quoted above caused myself to titter most heartily. Am not ashamed to confess that I almost sullied my britches such was my mirthe.

😋🦢

It would depend upon what grounds he hath to dislike thee. Is it the truth that thou are not a woman of virtue? There are rumours abroad that ye are not a maiden at all and that ye smell of a fell odour. His grace Himslef hath said such a thinge!

Just telling it like it is, Mumsnet-style!

Mistress Moasty,
Verily, thou art a fair maiden with fine features, and a bosomly figure.
Tell the old bastart to do one.

Newnametoday5

I hereby declare that the post quoted above caused myself to titter most heartily.

Verily, I was caused to spit out my mead and fair near woketh the babe a-sleeping in the cradle.

Be honest, @MrsMoastyToasty - you were a mail order bride and you touched up that selfie. It's no surprise he's having second thoughts.

Admittedly, he's no prize himself. But when you have £££, not to mention a crown, you can be a bit picky.

Miaoweth Sister @Ellmau !!
Art thou biding thy time to becometh Wyfe No. 7 perchance?

Pleaseth thee do not refereth to “touched up selfie” for Selfie is my very surname.

It doth make me tingle and blush at the same instant.

I live in mine own hovel in the woods, alongside mine cat and chickens. I am a crone at the great age of 54, but am still in good health.

A young Lorde in all his finery passed by several days ago and accused me of being a witch. The witchfinder general was threatened, and the Lorde set my hens' house afire.

WIBU to hex him with boils and then poison him with belladonna, burying his body where only the wild boar will find him? The cat thinks questions may be asked.

I say do it, and putte ye blame on ye turnip delivery man.

Love from ye Catte.

That seemeth reasonable to me. Although perchance consider retaining some of the more difficult to obtain smaller body parts (eyes and the like), for future use. It can be challenging to maintain a consistent supply in the winter months.

Thy makes a very good point. A hex without the ingredients does not an effective hex be. I have buried his appendage in salt for over the winter. It can then be ground in the spring to add to tonics to revive passion.

@FuzzyPuffling I have saved his gizzards for your winter sustenance.

I thank thee Mabelface. There is nothing better for a catte than ye aged gizzards.
Purre, purre, purre...

This looks perfect :) Facebook