Christmas has become very expensive.

[Flutterbycustard]

Just sat here planning Christmas and how much we will spend on kids (older teens) and family.
Have had a few requests and been to look the products up. When did hoodies, polo shirts and aftershave get so expensive?!

Usually we budget about £500 each on our children, and we’ve always considered them very, very fortunate. We know lots of people have a lot less to spend. But looking at the prices this year, £500 isn’t going to go far on adult kids.

Aftershave alone is nearly £100. The desired hoodie is over £100. They want some cash as well. There definitely won’t be much of a pile. And I know we are the lucky ones. A pack of boxers is over £30 and socks nearly £20 (the ones they like anyway).

I’m feeling like £500 looks really inadequate, yet I know that £500 is a hell of a lot of money and to even consider spending more is ridiculous. Plus, we don’t have more to budget for Christmas anyway.

I know there comes a point when the pile of gifts shrinks and Christmas is less about the presents, but I can’t believe £500pp isn’t going to completely spoil them anymore.

Nieces and Nephews will get cash, but again, £20 - £30 pp is just looking so mean. But we have too many to increase spends as DH has five siblings, each with 2 or 3 children. I also have siblings, but only a couple of nieces on my side.

Is this cost of living kicking in; or has it just always been this way as kids get older. I’m actually dreading how much it’s all looking to cost this year and wishing we’d cut back more gradually starting a few years ago.

Your DH has five siblings.. so £20 from each aunt/uncle is £100 for each child. It adds up.

Your own children will know that £100 presents mean that there's less presents overall.

Relax. You ate doing brilliant.

Then don't spend £500. No need to. Less is fine.
£10 for niece/nephew is fine - or even better make an agreement not to gift.

It is definitely harder. We are on a very strict budget for family this year and it’s horrible, it won’t go far at all.

My sister is one of those who chooses to list things at £100+ each so hers always looks less.

You really need to shop around too. Find discount codes, sign up to the brand etc. Check sites like Vinted and EBay. I rarely pay full price for anything. The piles do shrink as they get older. My DD would prefer quality over quantity and will have a stocking with a few small gifts but her main gift is an expensive vintage bag that I knew she had her eye on. My 13 yo will get more "stuff" but I've spent equally. He certainly doesn't get the mountains of tat he used to get when he was little. My budget is £250 per child.

But your near adult child will know the hoody was £100 and the aftershave was £100

If they want a bigger pile, they can request things that aren't so expensive

……….

Iv given my 5 Nieces and Nephews a £50 budget each, one chose 4 things from Amazon, one chose 21 things from Temu - They are old enough to know what things cost and they can get more of a pile if they choose cheaper things and they are 12 years old!

I will spend about £70 on each of them by the time i add in some Christmas chocolates, a little ornament for the tree etc

That is more than enough

My post was hidden as soon as i posted
Why??

So odd

£500 per child is a huge amount! How much do you earn pm?

You are going about this the wrong way round.Decide on the figure you can afford to and are happy to spend first, and then how you are going to spend it.

From your post I am not sure what you actually want. Surely you know spending that much on each child, is alot of money?

My mum used to get so worried about this as a sign that we would feel unloved, but really we didn't care that much in the end. Most of it ended up as junk anyway. I could not tell you one present as a child apart from a dolls house, that I played or used that much.

The piles can be smaller when the DCs get older. I honestly don't know how you're managing to spend £500 each if you're buying hoodies and aftershave.

I've always done Christmas for about $100 per DC, some years closer to $50.

The trick is to manage expectations.

As you have a large extended family, could you suggest a family Secret Santa instead of cash for each niece and nephew? Each cousin picks another cousin's name out of a hat, and the family sets a sensible price limit for presents. The cousins should do the buying, not the parents. It's nice when kids are teens and begin to take part as givers and not just recipients of gifts at Christmas.

Teens never have a pile.

Ime they prefer cold hard cash to a pile.

I guess I don’t want to look at a pile of 2-3 things and then feel that I have to spend more. But I’m looking at what my kids want and the prices are extortionate. I know they will not be expecting everything on their lists and I know that their ‘piles’ will have shrunk, but it just looks like nothing for the money and I do worry they’ll be secretly disappointed, even though I know them better than that.

We’ve always tried to make Christmas as magical as possible and it just feels like we can’t do that anymore. Although, I’m sure too that mine would prefer a few quality items than piles of tat.

It’s just getting used to change I guess.

That sounds like a good idea, but I’m not sure the adults will go for it. They’ve spent on my children their whole lives and it would feel like I’m changing the rules now they have kids too. Oldest niece is 23 and youngest is 1. So quite a few we’ve only been spending on for a short time in relation to how long their parents spent on ours. It’s just there’s so many now.

Threads like this feel like entering a different universe. Christmas for us involved wrapping up our own gifts from our parents, usually a set of bedsheets, a pair of socks and a box of chocolates!

Anyway, I think you need to bear in mind that a) yes prices have risen massively, but also b) your kids have expensive tastes (£100 is expensive for a hoodie and aftershave is expensive).
I would give them the £500 as cash and they can spend it as they will. They may decide to make very different decisions when looking at the £100 hoodie. I know I would.

Their tastes do seem to have gotten more expensive. Last year DS wanted a load of Gymshark stuff, a lot of which was in the sale or heavily reduced for Black Friday. A bag, joggers, sweaters, t shirts, bottle he had quite a lot for the same price as this one hoodie.

I thought we were pretty generous but £500 per dc and feeling like that’s not enough? Totally outside my world of normality.

Ah yes, a wide age range makes a difference. In my family the cousins were all born within a ten-year window and it was nice when they were all aged over 8 or 9.

Fortunately my teenagers aren't into clothes or aftershave or technology, they like books and plants or stuff related to hobbies.

£500 is load, especially for adult kids. If they want expensive hoodies, why not buy them one hoodie each, one aftershave/perfume, £100 cash each then spend £100 each on little things to go with it so they look like they have more, perhaps a book, some chocolate and sweets, a game, some other toiletries, socks. That’s cut down to £400 each.

If they are adult children, they are old enough to understand that there is a cost of living crisis, things are rocketing in price and they can't necessarily get everything they put on their Christmas lists. They are indeed very fortunate to have had five hundred quid each spent on them by their parents for years (and, if I understand you correctly, presents from aunts and uncles on top of that).

Are they working?

If you want to create a pile then do as one of the other posters mentioned and get discount codes by signing up to websites or searching discount codes on Google etc. but also include some of their favourite things just for enjoyment. Like favourite chilli sauce, biscuits, chocolate bar, some thumb rings for Xbox controller, a book from favourite sport personality, a magazine for hobby or interest, sport lip balm with uv, a hair product fav. Shampoo, everyone loves original source shower gel you can get three for under ten pounds. A couple of good presents pile of usefulness to keep the present opening going for a bit.😄

Which brand of hoodie is it?

Why do you feel that you need to buy them expensive aftershave and an expensive hoodie? Buy them one or the other or a much cheaper brand.

You say your kids are older teens or adults? So they understand how money works.

Christmas being magical isn't about the £££ spent. £500 is a serious spend per child.

Is this cost of living kicking in; or has it just always been this way as kids get older. Yes, both these apply.

I agree with previous poster if they are asking for £100 hoodie they know how much it will be and the impact. I wouldn’t give cash if they’ve given you a list! Maybe let them know that early on… it’s hard when you want it to be special and don’t want to disappoint but actually as children get older they get joy in giving as well as receiving and for me that’s where the magic remains!