Have you explicitly told your child it’s ok if they are gay/have a partner of the same sex?

[Lollaup]

As a gay woman, who had a great upbringing and a lovely family I still really struggled with knowing if my parents would be ok with me being gay. I so wish they had said explicitly things like you can have a girlfriend for girlfriend, we won’t mind or somehow conveyed that message to me.
my best friend is also a lesbian and she said exactly the same.
so please don’t assume that your kids will just ‘know’ it is ok because you love them and have a close relationship

I didn't tell my DC that being gay is absolutely accepted in society. I teach them that they are absolutely loved and accepted by me, their mother.

Precisely! And if you know your kids, and you’re a normal person it’s normal views on sexuality then you’ll know. There won’t be any need for them to “come out”. However, if you’re a homophobic bigot, the level of anxiety, fear of rejection and feeling like they’re ‘abnormal’ that they’ll go through will be permanently damaging to their self worth, and destroy their relationship with you.
Judging by the homophobia on display here, can you imagine if this thread was about the trans community??

I have reported some posts as homophobic but sadly no action

In fairness, I agree with there being way too much sex in TV/film aimed at kids. I don't think sex scenes of any kind add anything to any story

They only have issue with the gay sex though…👀

So anyone who doesn't agree with you is homophobic? 🙄 I couldn't care less who anyone dates/sleeps with. It doesn't make any difference to my life. Just because I don't want to constantly talk about sex to my kid doesn't make me homophobic.

Where did anyone say that?!? You're just looking to take offence at anything.

Some posts are very homophobic. No one asked you to constantly talk to your kids about sex. It’s very strange that you keep bringing sex into this and you should really dig a bit deeper there about what that’s about for you. It’s about telling your kids that a boyfriend or girlfriend is welcome into your home. Not that you need to explain how gay sex works, your gay kids will work that out themselves 😉

Here is where it is said??

If you have more of an issue/ are more offended by hearing about /seeing gay relationships than straight than you are homophobic

Lollaup, ditto. MN moderation could be better for a lot of things. They seem especially busy atm, I was on a blatant troll thread a few days ago that took ages to get removed.

My kids have a lesbian godmother and through us know and love a very diverse group of friends and families.

We make an effort to read books and find shows with families with 2 mums, 2 dads, etc, so that they know all kinds of families are normal and worthy of respect.

We happen to be a mummy and daddy family but they know that lots of families aren't that shape and that's fine by us.

I also explicitly tell them that it's fine by us whoever they love. They are 3 and 7. We never talk about sex at all! Just that some people love and marry the same gender as them, some love and marry the opposite, and as long as they love each other and are happy that's fine by us!

Internalised homophobia is a huge risk factor for teen suicide so this is why it's such an important topic for me to make sure they know we support them whoever they fall in love with.

You should encourage children to be who they are though…

You can't make someone gay by talking about it.

It's innate.

It's homophobic to suggest otherwise.

I don’t think anyone constantly talks about sex to their kids… that would be concerning. My kids know I’m gay and I’ve yet to have the conversation about any type of sex with them because they’re very young. I wonder how I did that without talking about sex…hmm

what are you watching that you think is for kids when it has sex scenes in it?!

As soon as we began talking about relationships, I told mine that they love who they love and it makes no difference to their dad and me. We love them just the same, gay or straight or bi. One DC came out to me at 12. I am so proud and happy that they live in a world where this is possible and they have a wonderful, accepting group of friends. Unfortunately, there is still homophobia in school, as there is in society, but nothing like it was when I was growing up. Barely a day went by without my dad making some kind of homophobic comment about someone on telly when I was a child.

Fartbox, saying it's ok if you are doesn't mean you have to be gay. You sound like you think it should be discouraged. Assuming a kid is straight & talking about a potential bf or gf is encouraging straightness, but I suspect you perhaps wouldn't disapprove of that...

Illwetya, sometimes people want to explore or discover later on they are bisexual, eg like Susie Orbach did. If they decide to explore bc they're aware same sex relationships are an option, what's wrong w that?

Ugggh.

'Plant ideas in their head'.

Sexuality is innate.

This attitude is astounding. No wonder some kids are scared to come out. No child in my family would be scared to be themselves.

When my nephew finally told us that he is gay, it wasn't much of a surprise to any of us we just got on with it.

What's wrong with being homosexual? If you buy your child dolls and play parenting or tell your daughter to play with princess and prince dolls are you encouraging heterosexuality!!!!! Do you not see the double standards?

Yes. From a very early age. I was very proud overhearing my then 4 yo lecturing a friend who said something about girls only marrying boys....

Yes always have and my eldest dd is bi and has had girlfriends and boyfriends.