I have a huge decision to make. Can anyone help me make the right one?

[DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy]

I am currently living abroad trying to build up some savings to buy a home in the UK when my job finishes here in 9 months. The problem is that I'm miserable. I have stuck it out for a year so far but I am really struggling now. The work is hard and I'm lonely. I miss my family in the UK. But if I leave I won't have built up the nest egg I need and in a way I'll be back to square one when I get home. My savings will soon be swallowed up as everything is so expensive at home and it's cheap here. If I stay to the end I'll have another 30k saved which would put me in a much better position. But 9 months feels like an absolute eternity. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Stay and get the money to aid your return. Do whatever might help you to stick it out in the meantime, eg visit home or people to visit you, a new activity to eat up some time, researching where to live etc.

If you’re really miserable then give yourself permission to leave at Christmas. Then when you get to Christmas extend it until February etc.
If you still decide to return then that’s fine but if you can manage 2 months at a time then 9 months will fly by.

In the nicest way, you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. It sounds like you have elected to work abroad, either for a higher salary, or a tax incentive, or both.

Your choices are to suck it up and take the money, or not. Personally, I probably would on the basis that most jobs are just exchanging time for money. You have an opportunity to get more money. 9 months will soon go.

Where are you?

Is there anything you can do to improve the next 9 months? You haven't said where you are, but is there an expat community group for example ? Or some work organised but non work activities you could get involved in ... ping ping, chess club or whatever?
Even if these are not things you fancy doing, I found when I lived abroad it's better to lean in to this stuff and sometimes you enjoy it too!
If you really don't want to do any of this stuff then how about inviting friends to visit? And do trips to other parts of the country ? Or each weekend pick a museum or local attraction to visit?
Either way the smart thing to do is to bank the cash !

I've lived abroad and found it really stressful but, based solely on my experience, you might have already done the hardest bit.

I've worked abroad and know how lonely it can be. I urge you to stick it out if it means you will have 30k to set you up for when you return. Why don't you try online dating if single or join some clubs? I joined a choir/ did anything I could to keep out and about to finish my second year. Plan some trips if you can xx

Definitely stay!

In a year you will have forgotten about how you feel now and you will have achieved something that will make a difference to the rest of your life.

If you come home you will briefly feel relieved and then feel regret because you will have given up the opportunity to improve your life.

9 months is nothing. It could take you 9 months just to work out the logistics of your move and to find a new job.

if you need to fill your free time, find a project to keep you distracted. Do some art. Pick up an instrument. Take an online class.

Could someone come to visit you? Could you go home for Christmas? Have a bit less saved but be something to look forward to. Is their an expat community there you could join with or a sports team whatever would bring you company. I know the Irish all get over homesickness by joiningcteams which gives them a bit of home while away. Exercise is great for your mood so could you set a goal eg to run 10k before you go home so you concentrate on that to keep your mind occupied after work. Then you go home rich and fit all ready for a new start. Could you spend a little more money visiting a nearby country for the experience so it's not all work and no play.?
I would try and stick it out. It will be so worth it. But if your mental health is suffering too much, give in and come home at Christmas.

You are all saying the same thing and you are probably right. I'm just feeling really low. Excellent advice.

@LettuceSpray that is exactly what I'm afraid of

I had to wait out a year in a job I absolutely despised. It hurt my soul being there. Personally, I'd consider how much money is worth any damage to you in the long term. Only you know whether this is just really shit for 9 months (in which case stay), or whether you're being damaged (in which case leave). Good luck

I agree you've done the hard bit. Also plan a short break home so it's not 9 months, it's 4 or so.

Believe in yourself- you can do difficult things. I know this because you have already done more of the hard part than there is left to go. You have got this OP. You are going to keep working hard, FaceTime your family a bit more often, and before you know it it will be time to come home with a lot of money and a great future ahead.

@Chaseandstatus I love that thank you

I am reading everything. This is all so positive and helpful. Thank you

You'll probably never be in a better position savings wise. It's very hard right now in the UK.
You'll need to keep telling yourself this, and try to think long term.
You're over halfway there.
You could do something daft, like make a wall chart to tick off the days before you return, or something to show that you're reaching your 30K target.

In the meantime, you can FaceTime with family and friends at home, or have them to stay.
Maybe join a hobbies club or take up a sport, where you might meet people.
Are there any colleagues that you might socialise with?

I hope you are OK.

The suggestion of a hobby is a good one, I picked up knitting when I was abroad. I joined a class to get some pointers (I didn't speak the language well but managed with the teacher's english and my limited skills!) And that gave me something to do in the evenings. Bonus points because it was productive and I made things for everyone back home!

Working in the UK and saving £30k is impossible for most people in their 20s (making an assumption you are around that age). Whatever you do don't come back without a definite job offer or the savings will just go.
Is there a shared interest online community/social media group you could join for companionship if you do stay overseas?
PS it is quite possible to be utterly miserable in the UK at the moment.

You have a real chance to elevate your situation for the long term. I would stick it out for future you.

However redirect £3000 of that £30,000 to make your time there as good as it can be. Book trips, theatre, spa, connect with a running club, exercise class, go horse riding, join a bookclub.

Obviously I don’t know where you are or what you like. But it’s worth spending a day booking things to look forward to in to your diary for the next 8 months. And month 9 you come home!!

Stay - honestly it will fly past and you'll be massively grateful for it in the future when you have something to show for it (£30k fir a new home)

Do something to make it more tolerable in the short term - can you learn a language online, can you join a sports club, maybe taking singing /guitar / instrument lessons (you've got time to practice), do an online interior design course to prep for your new home, cook different meals (can you invite a friend over to experiment on!!)? Etc

You should stay, 9 months is a very short time to prepare for the rest of your life. If you left now you'd regret it forever. Do you have any visits home to look forward to in the next 9 months? Or can anyone visit you?

I understand it is difficult for you, but as others have said, the worst part is done now, congratulations on having got this far, and keep your eye on the prize as you will be so pleased with yourself when you go home with the savings you've built up during this time. Imagine how disappointed you would be with yourself in the long-term after short-term relief if you gave up and went home now. I echo other people in suggesting you find happy ways to spend what down time you have and also, just a big calendar ticking off the days till the end of your contract, to keep you motivated. If you can get friends and family to come and visit you in the interim, those are also lovely things to look forward to whilst you're there, and hopefully you'll be able to get home for a family Christmas this year.
Best of luck with sticking it out, I'm sorry you're feeling so low at the moment, but think of how proud of yourself you'll be when you've got those great savings under your belt.

As everyone else has said, stay put if you can. You will be in such a better position financially when you get back.

Working abroad can be hard - I did it for 5 years in various places, never earned that much but look back on that time with pride. I really enjoyed it - but was quite young - but it can be lonely.

Back in the UK, it took me YEARS to save up a house deposit.

Stick it out. You can do it.