I have a huge decision to make. Can anyone help me make the right one?

[DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy]

I am currently living abroad trying to build up some savings to buy a home in the UK when my job finishes here in 9 months. The problem is that I'm miserable. I have stuck it out for a year so far but I am really struggling now. The work is hard and I'm lonely. I miss my family in the UK. But if I leave I won't have built up the nest egg I need and in a way I'll be back to square one when I get home. My savings will soon be swallowed up as everything is so expensive at home and it's cheap here. If I stay to the end I'll have another 30k saved which would put me in a much better position. But 9 months feels like an absolute eternity. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Stay. A good friend retired last year and is renting. She's in a really precarious position as her pension only just covers rent. 9 months more is worth it for a home of your own!

30 K in 9 months is a no brainer! Meditate, exercise, take mini breaks, network, new hobby! 9 months will fly by!

When I had to put up with something over a period of time, I made myself a reverse calendar so I could record the time passing - you can still fill your days/weeks with positive things, but it just helps to show you how quickly the time is going; in my case it was having to wait for someone unpleasant to move out.

I printed out a day for each month with the dates listed backwards, and then crossed them off as they were done. I also broke it up into chunks - so periods when I knew they would be away as well as nice things that I had planned, little landmarks to look forward to.

I also like a PP's suggestion of giving yourself permission to see how it is at Christmas, Easter and so on...and to re-make your decision or decide to come back at those points as they come up. I also think it's worth working out how much you will have saved at those points, so that you can evaluate whether the time left is "worth staying" financially, or whether actually you're so far into your saving plan that coming home won't make a meaningful dent in it.

All the best @DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy, you've got this!

Hats off to you @DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy , you seem to be be a proactive person

Sounds like you have made some amazing savings which will have a positive impact on your future life. If you can stick it out without having a mental health crisis, then please just slog it out if you can.

Have things booked at the weekends - go to the Louvre or a brunch or a picnic in the desert etc. Work out the best hotel to go to at the weekend. Hang out in Spinneys - buy a Waitrose No.1 product every week for a treat. When I have lived abroad, the ex-pat community are pretty welcoming, you need to find your 'tribe' within that community if you can - hobbies and favourite cuisines are a starter to weed them out.

Acknowledge your feelings now but don't forget the bigger picture of why you are there. You have done so well. You're over half way

I know a few people who have done similar to you and they were all really happy that they did it. They were in a much better life and financial position once they returned to the UK.

Personally I wouldn't use lots of money on trips back to the UK. I'd try to focus on thinking "I'm here for a short time and I'm going to embrace being here". Take cheaper trips in the region instead of flying home. I like the suggestion of Christmas on a beach somewhere. I did this once and it was memorable, not the same as being at home, but now I have Christmas at home every year I have a good memory of my one beach Christmas.

I'd also make a good plan about what to do with your money when you move home. Do you know where you want to live and what type of house you will buy? Will you buy straight away or live with friends/ rent initially ? Will you transfer your current job over there, or apply for a new job? I think it can be common to get decision paralysis when you have spent ages saving for your future, and find it hard to then spend the money for fear of making a poor decision. Have a good plan in mind for what you'll do when you move back.

@DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy you had me at the weather! In two weeks the clocks here will have gone back, it’ll be dark at 4pm and thoroughly miserable. Even if I couldn’t stick out the whole 9 months I would want to stick it out till March to avoid the UK winter. Obviously once you have done that then you might be happy to do the remainder especially if you take on board what pp have said about creating your life out there.

Thank you so much for the continued responses. I am reading every one and taking so much inspiration from all your ideas and suggestions. Thank you!

💯 stay do nottttt come back you will regret it!

use the time to hunker down and plan so you make your “new life” more awesome

some suggestions

• plan and research stuff for your new house - scout rightmove and get a feel for what your budget gets / areas you like
• do a couch -5 km and work on fitness
• maybe do another fitness challenge alongside it
• practice cooking a do a fancy 3 course meal once a week/month
• learn to do gel nails yourself

9 months will absolutely fly by!
Its almost November already!

Why not wait it out until after the new year and then see how you feel.

You will regret it if you go home early.

9 months feels like a long time now, but in the grand scheme of your life its a tiny portion.
If it will set you up on your return its going to be worth it in the long run.
Break the time up, set goals, and distract yourself. Start a Pinterest board of what your new home will be like. Use your time to research houses, and areas. anything to keep your eyes on the prize.
Loads of good suggestions from people.
Distract distract distract. Before you know it it will have gone by

Would you do duolingo to boost your language skills? A bit of understanding of Arabic would be a great thing to bring home.

Given your age you'll remember when Blue Peter used to do fundraising with their bring and buy sales and at the end of each episode they'd go over to their money thingymajig (their fundraising thermometer) and move the marker up nearer towards the goal for whatever they are fundraising for

Can you make yourself one of those for the kitchen wall ? Marked in £100 or £500 or £1000 increments or work out your weekly savings and use that amount for example so that at the end of each day/ week you can move up a section on your going back home and buying a house thermometer whichever you think would incentivise you most! (9 months is approx 275 days so saving £100 a day would see you at £25 000 in 250 days.)

It would give you a very visual reminder of why you are putting up with it all! And the nearer the goal the nearer you are to being out of there.

I think this. Focus on taking advantage of the opportunities that will be much harder in 9 months.

Roughly where do you plan to live when you come back? Is £30k make or break for your chance of buying a home?

It’s a lovely language to learn — it saved my sanity during a ghastly year living in the ME. But Gulf Arabic is widely looked down upon by other Arabic speakers. My teacher was Lebanese, and though she did teach us Khaleeji variants, she clearly didn’t think much of them…

Yes its the old 'how do you eat an elephant?' ... One bite at a time. Take it week to week or day to day if you have to. Time will pass. Maybe use the time to learn something new, start a new hobby etc. you're doing great and you've got this 💪💪💪

There you go, its loss.

Bless you, it can be tough being overseas at the best of times, but when you’ve come out of a long term relationship and healing from that, it must feel much worse.
Everyone on here has given you fab advice to get through the next few months, but I wonder if you have an international social group you could join. I found those a godsend because you’re talking to people who completely understand what you’re going through. You realise you’re not the only one and can not only be a support to each other, but can have fun together too.
Apologies if you’ve already heard of or joined these, but the ones I’m thinking of are..
https://www.twofatexpats.com/
and

https://girlgoneinternational.com/

I was a member of the former and a friend who has moved again has the latter and has made some lovely friends to meet for social things. No pressure to join in with anything, but people there if you want them.

Good luck. Nine months will pass so fast!

Hideous darkness. I'm dreading it.

Leave now and it will all have been for nothing. Nine more pay days and you will be home. Dig deep and make your long term future easier. Start imagining your new home.

You've done a year, you can do another 9 months! Think how good it'll feel having that money and being able to put such a good deposit down on your own place when you're back, it'll be so worth it. Everything is soo tight in the uk, I imagine you'd really struggle to save £30k you would massively regret giving up now! Can you book a short trip home just after Christmas? Then if you can just focus on getting to January which is really not far away that might make it mentally easier? Then going back out for the last few months really would just be the last leg and you would be getting all excited about going home for good and your lovely new home.
All us mumsnetters are always here for a chat to pass your time 🤗💪

Yesterday I planted tulips, by the time they flower in spring, you will be home.

Internet glitch made me post twice!

@DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy
I just saw you're in the Middle East, so getting close to Christmas for the 2nd time must be making it hard... I lived and worked in Asia for some time and my first Christmas was fun because I saw all the weirdness of their "half-celebrations" especially in shops, Gyms, etc aimed at foreigners but completely getting it all wrong and clearly very commercially focused and mixing all cultures together... I took lots of pictures to remember the "gaffs" and all... and then when it was no longer "cute" or "funny" I started feeling more low at that time. So that may play a part too... Stay strong and you will make it X

9 months of your life is a drop in the ocean but that 9 months could impact your life so positively if you were able to get on the property ladder at home as a result.

As someone said upthread use the time to do your research so you know exactly where you want to live etc. could you even put offers in?

It will fly by.