I have a huge decision to make. Can anyone help me make the right one?

[DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy]

I am currently living abroad trying to build up some savings to buy a home in the UK when my job finishes here in 9 months. The problem is that I'm miserable. I have stuck it out for a year so far but I am really struggling now. The work is hard and I'm lonely. I miss my family in the UK. But if I leave I won't have built up the nest egg I need and in a way I'll be back to square one when I get home. My savings will soon be swallowed up as everything is so expensive at home and it's cheap here. If I stay to the end I'll have another 30k saved which would put me in a much better position. But 9 months feels like an absolute eternity. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Been precisely where you are. We stayed. It wasn't great but well worth it. Some great suggestions on here OP, keep your chin up.

I’m going to go against most people on this thread. Life is too short to be miserable and it’s ok to pack up and come home. Personally, I’d rather move to a smaller property in a worse area and be back in the same country as my family. Moving back now will give you the chance of a new start after the end of your marriage instead of having to wait for another 9 months. Will another 30k make the difference between being able to buy somewhere or not?

I think you should stick it out. 9 months may seem like an eternity right now, but it really isn't in the grand scheme of things.
I would make a calendar showing the 9 months and colour in a box every day so that you can see the end getting closer.
When you have say 3 months to go, get a tape measure (like one of the free ikea ones), cut it to the number of days you have left and hang it up somewhere. Cut off a centimetre each day. It's a great visual motivator - I did it when working out 3 months notice on a job I hated.

Also, look on line and find savings trackers which you can fill in and colour in. There are plenty around and many are customizable. Set your goal of 30K and colour in the relevant sections on the savings tracker as you save money and it goes into a savings account.

I think the visuals will help you to stay on track and focus on the means to an end.

I agree with most others that you should definitely stay and build up some savings. Do you have children in the UK? Is that why you are wobbling a bit?

I lived in Dubai for a few years and I would say that it does take time to settle in as is very different from the UK. My advice would be to stick it out until you have reached your goal. Look for things that will improve your situation right now. If you are finding it difficult to make friends, is there an expat group that has meet ups? Try on facebook or expat woman website. Is there a hobby you have wanted to try like paddle boarding or yoga? now the weathers cooling, is there a group to go hiking etc? Basically, living abroad can be tough, but I found I really had to put myself out there to make the most of my time there.

Just think, with every month that goes past that's the last one of those months you'll be doing in that place. 'Last January here!' (January's bloody miserable in UK, as is February...)

When you eventually return you'll mostly regret not staying longer if you return prematurely than coming back because you're miserable.

Unless your mental health is compromised then I would stay. It's hard but in life you have to go through hardships to achieve your goals.

Definitely wait out the British winter! If coming home for a Christmas break will help to get you through then do that. 3k against the 30k you stand to lose if you come home now is worth it.
You are right at the worst point. The first six months feels like a holiday because everything is new, but then you settle into a routine but it doesn't feel like home yet.
So do things that get that holiday feeling back (somebody mentioned camel rides), and do things that make you feel more at home - joining clubs and groups, even ones you wouldn't normally consider, because this is about establishing a little social network for you.
And please try to stop smoking, an addiction is not going to help in the long run!

For me it would depend on what the causes of your misery are. If it's an unsatisfying job, annoying colleagues, and being away from friends and family, I would definitely stay. And follow a lot of the good advice up thread about how to get through it.

If it's more serious stuff (e.g. things that would be illegal in the UK, whether or not they are where you are - sexual abuse, really poor working conditions, unsuitable living situation ...) then I would get out of there fast and let your long-term financial stability take a hit for the sake of your immediate health.

Oh blimey, I didn't even mention the smoking! Yes, like a chimney 🙈, and yes, it was far more of a local habit than at home... I won't tell you to quit now, because I know it can be a prop to mental health in a difficult situation, but if you can reduce or switch to vapes, it might be easier when you're on home ground again.

Oh 2 of my years abroad were Middle East. I was a language teacher though so earned sod all.

I was considering going back out there to teach at some point but wondered if I am too old now.

Anyway, 💰 is key now. I didn't buy a (tiny) place til I was 45!

You've had lots of lovely suggestions here. I've not been to the Middle East but know a few folk who have lived there for a bit. Oman seems to be quite popular over Christmas. Sri Lanka would be a lovely adventure. Even if you spend the £2k, find something to do that you wouldn't have travelled from the UK to do at Christmas. You'll never get this opportunity again.

I would get on Right move. Start planning your imaginary home, narrow down the areas you want to live in. Keep an eye on the budget next month. Do all your numbers to the last detail. Figure out what you need to earn when you come back and what you need to do about a pension. Money is a powerful motivator !!

Lastly, try to build a network of friends. Be sociable, invite others over or go out to meet. Trick if your accommodation is provided with your job or you are in Saudi - that doesn't feel like somewhere you can get out and about easily but there will be other people who are lonely there. You can bank on it.

OP, what you are doing will change your life forever.
You will be able to secure a home and you will have learnt so much about yourself.
You are a warrior and the pride you will feel for yourself will be so life enhancing.

After the initial high of going home, you wouldn't long be pissed off at the lost opportunity.
Hang in there, you can do it.

My DP worked in KSA for some time and frankly there wasn't much to do there and he lived in a hotel room for months. I never visited as it didn't appeal to me. It was all about him saving up a shed load of money. If you're there I would suggest a trip to somewhere closer and cheaper to break up the time as it's too expensive to get back to the UK at peak fares. Maybe UAE? Oman? Goa, India? Make the most of where you are too, try to see it with fresh eyes when your visitors come.
As others may have suggested, find a new hobby - craft, education, writing? Something you can develop and build in your spare time in the coming months. Hope that doesn't sound patronising, OP. You can do this...just keep your eyes on the prize.

Stick with it. Another way of looking at it-if you come back now you'll be heading into winter. 8-9 months time it'll be summer

9 months is NOT a long time. It will fly by and you will feel proud, glad and better off if you stick it out. Think means to an end. You can do this.

Please stay and achieve what you set out to. Nine months in the grand scheme of life and the universe is nothing. Imagine how different your life will be going forward if you can afford to get on the housing ladder in the UK compared to if you can't. Fast forward to age 60 when your mortgage is paid off and you're comfortably off and looking forward to retirement - instead of having spent years wasting money in rent to pay off someone else's mortgage and still not having achieved housing security in your later years.
You write yourself that if you come back to the UK early you will be back to square one - and as much as I'm sure you'd be relieved to be back, I think the sense of disappointment you would have in yourself for not achieving your goal would set in all too quickly. Stay OP - so you can have something to show for your sacrifices! Best of luck! 😃