I have a huge decision to make. Can anyone help me make the right one?

[DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy]

I am currently living abroad trying to build up some savings to buy a home in the UK when my job finishes here in 9 months. The problem is that I'm miserable. I have stuck it out for a year so far but I am really struggling now. The work is hard and I'm lonely. I miss my family in the UK. But if I leave I won't have built up the nest egg I need and in a way I'll be back to square one when I get home. My savings will soon be swallowed up as everything is so expensive at home and it's cheap here. If I stay to the end I'll have another 30k saved which would put me in a much better position. But 9 months feels like an absolute eternity. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.

So many pointers to help me and I am taking all this fantastic advice on board. I know how tight things are financially in the UK and the money I have built up so far would quickly disappear. Also the weather here is much better!

Short term pain for long term gain. I look back at some of the hard stuff I did and am very grateful for previous me making my life easier now for that sacrifice that was very difficult at the time but ultimately passed.

No brainer to me - stay

What country are you in? Lets find you a mumsnet buddy who may be there in same position too

For someone whos 40, 2 kids and only just brought 1st house

These 9 months will be sooo worth it long term, i absolutely promise you

the uk is rainy, cold, expensive and dull right now

Can a friend fly out in a few months for a visit too?

Thank you @Jaichangecentfoisdenom . Last year was tough but this year is definitely tougher for different reasons. But there are definitely things I can do here to fill my time productively

The weather in the UK is revolting at the moment! Definitely easy to be miserable here too!
Stick it out … good luck!

I do have friends coming over at different times after Christmas yes. I am trying to hold off coming home at Christmas as the flights and air bnb etc cost 2k last Christmas. I'm trying so hard to build the pot up

@DaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisyDaisy almost everyone gets through difficult shit in their lives, often with no choice - bereavement, illness, misfortune. You are definitely stronger than you think.
Keep the thread going for support! Mumsnet is a fantastic place for support and sometimes just a 🤗 and a sentence from a stranger can get you through.

I haven't even read the full thread because I'm going though stressy shit myself ATM, but I had to respond because I just know you can do this.💪

This really is excellent advice

Trust in yourself and the quiet confidence that comes from knowing you are doing the right thing to invest in yourself, will stand you in very good stead throughout the whole of the rest of your life.

I am starting to feel more motivated and positive already. Thank you everyone that has commented. I think sticking it out is the only option.

I'd encourage you to positively choose to stay because you want the benefits that will come from that choice. It's more empowering to choose something rather than accept that it is the "only option".

Have a go and let us know if you notice any difference in your mindset.

Just a note to say I really admire what you're doing. Hope you can plan a fun party (just a pub or something) when you get back to reconnect with friends. And in the meantime take one day at a time.

@FinallyHere that's a gem thank you

Once upon a time, when I was studying English, I was given a book. A massive one. The class was run by volunteers. A kind lady looked at my face and said “don’t focus on the volume of the book, treat it as a chapter a month”. I wish I had taken her advice sooner. Stay and build up your savings . It’s not just financial security, it’s an achievement and a milestone

Definitely stay and build your pot!

Tell yourself it’s only really 8 months as the last month will fly by with preparation and organisation for your return.
Use the time to plan out your life back home.

All the best OP, you’ve got this!😀

@PermanentTemporary thank you so so much that means a lot.

Agree with others, at the end of this you will have nog only positioned yourself well for the future financially, you will have proved to yourself that you are capable, independent and resilient - this is perhaps even more precious. I went through a massive life change when I left my husband and threw myself into relative poverty. And got through it to the point where I am better off than had I stayed with him. I have such confidence in my own ability to survive and even thrive that I never would have had before.

This.

I wish I could tag everyone but thank you for the words of encouragement. Yes 8 months sounds much better!!

Stay. It will be the making of you!!! Make life there more tolerable. Get into a new hobby. In a big way. I wondered if you were in Asia..I know of people who have done a couple of years there for the same reason as you. Make a dream board with your future home on it. You can do it.. find a way to improve the day to day life there. Best of luck xx

@babyproblems I'm in the Middle East

I would look at little things to make it easier.

As it's only 9 months away, you could even start planning for when you move back. Research real estate, so you know where you want to buy. Start thinking ahead about how you might build your CV for when you start looking for jobs. Do some practice interviews. Things like that

@theleafandnotthetree it's the end of my marriage that triggered this huge move for me too.

Are you just working and saving or are you getting out and about and enjoying the country you are in? I can can see it all just becoming a slog if it's the former - try and get out a bit too if you can

A friend of mine dod 6 months in a middle eastern country and was also miserable. As a woman it is so much harder as many places are still such a patriarchal make up.

But you have done the hardest bit and you should be proud of yourself!!

If you are saving to buy in the UK I assume that you have also restricted the amount you spend out there on life outside of work...maybe set yourself a fun budget for a couple of months to relax and enjoy it.

I get why you want to save hard, but your mental health is equally if not more important.