On holiday. Middle of the street. Wearing a strapless top and DH pulls my top down (no bra, he knows this)

[Floys90]

I was mortified and embarrassed. He was drunk (no excuse). He said no one saw.

I feel v disrespected

Thoughts

One valentines night, whilst out for a nice meal my now exh kept leaning across the table and grabbing my boobs. This was in a restaurant that was full of other couples. They were all sat talking to each other and my prick of ex thought I'd be ok with him groping me in public. No I wasn't and I made it perfectly clear to him, that A I didn't like it and B everyone was sat staring at him. His exacts words to me were I don't care because as my wife I can do what I want to you when I want to you. He did it one more time before I stabbed his hand with a fork

Fork in the hand? My word, you held back. My DH, should he ever have tried something that grotesque, would have sported the fork in the middle of his forehead. Kudos to you for your restraint.

I couldn't easily forget this.

In vino veritas. When drunk he shows you his true opinion of you (and all women.) We're just here for his amusement.

Gosh, all the "if he apologizes", lot... He's already tried to minimise and gaslight OP. There's no making that right with an apology. "Yeh sorry I shouldn't have tried to justify and minimise my behaviour" after it hasn't worked isn't an apology, it's just more manipulative bullshit.

As for "it was the drink, I'm so sorry I did that"...it's completely and utterly meaningless as an apology unless it also comes with "I'm so disgusted with my own behaviour that I'll never drink again, to ensure I never behave that way again, since it was all the drink's fault" and then follows through on that promise to never drink again.

"Sorry" doesn't make things like this ok. It's totally unacceptable.

It’s amazing how keen people are to pile on to tell the OP to LTB. Total over reaction and not helpful to make her feel that she is being a door mat if she doesn’t.

Perhaps if you had slightly higher standards, you wouldn’t be as unhappy as you are

It’s about trust isn’t it. You should be able to trust your husband to 100% keep you safe. That trust is broken.

Unpredictable behaviour like that, for someone to suddenly expose you, is frightening.

Can you say more? Is this what we're teaching our daughters, to always wear a bra just in case a man decides to pull your top down? Or because your boobs might not look as pert and acceptable to men as they did when you were 22 and they might offend someone? Jesus lord give me strength.

There is no way this was a drunken one off and it was completely out of character as an isolated incident. Any man that respected their partner wouldn't do this. It's not an over reaction, I think it's really grim and there's no way I would have any respect for a man who did this, let alone enough to be married to one.

That’s unkind. Not sure what I said which justifies that response.

You should be able to trust your husband to 100% keep you safe.

THIS is the crux of the matter. Perfectly stated. Your spouse should be your protector, not your assailant. Not someone whose drunken antics you fear. Not someone who will deliberately humiliate you in public.

Being drunk doesn't make people do things they don't want to. It removes inhibitions and shows their true selves. At best he's a juvenile, misogynistic twat. He just covers it up better when he's not drunk.

Because you are calling those of us sickened by this and saying for us this would most certainly be not someone we would ever want to be with or continue to be with and suggest that the Op has herself in higher regard…. “total over reaction ”

So not unkind of me to suggest that if you had higher standards, you may be happier

Imagine this man being your dad and witnessing him do this, pissed as a fart, to your mother

Truly gross

Had it done to me once by ex-boyfriend, years ago. I punched him in the face and he ended up on his ass, as the punch was unexpected. It was instinctive, I didn't plan it, but I'm not sorry at all. Dumped him after.

I'm a prude (and don't care it's supposedly 'embarrassing') and not okay with public nudity. I don't sunbathe topless, don't wear shorts with my ass hanging out, don't wear thong bikinis, scrunch bum leggings, super short shirts or massive cleavages, don't walk around my family members or partner stark naked and don't change in front of people. I don't care what other people do/wear, it's strictly personal. I'm perfectly happy how I am and don't plan to change in any way.

Therefore, such 'jokes' are a dumpable offense to me. It's not remotely funny, it's disrespectful, shows immaturity and contempt. Alcohol has nothing to do with anything, I drink myself, but I never felt the need to yank someone's trousers down to expose their dick&balls. If I can manage not to do that, so can men.

Like other posters, I think this requires explanation?

Christ you should always be wearing a bra in public in your late 40s

Sod that, I don't. I often have tops on without a bra underneath and I'm in my 50's. Wearing a vest top underneath a jumper today so didn't feel like wearing a bra too.

I think telling the op she should wear a bra so that her stupid husband doesn't get the urge to pull her top down is ridiculous.

Where did all this happen? So am I right you were both hot and v drunk and he did that?

ok, how does he feel now? Is he mortified? Horrified at himself?

She was on holiday and hang on.. it’s up to her surely if she wears a bra? This is making me want to wear no underwear at all ever again in solidarity.
Why the age restriction? What has late 40s got to do with the price of eggs?

You have absolutely no way of knowing that. No way.

The context we need here is how long you've been with him and if he behaves like this in other situations. It's hard to believe this is a one off, out of character action after a few drinks. If he hasn't apologised profusely and vowed never to do such a thing ever again you really do need to consider why you're with such a disrespectful childish twat.

NOT acceptable!! He needs punishing (or dumping).

For me I would base what I did next in his reaction. If he apologised profusely and swore to never do it again, showed he was ashamed and embarrassed and genuinely remorseful then I could forgive. If he minimised the hurt and upset he’d caused me I’d be out the door.

Why does anyone in their late 40s get drunk? You know your limits and if you still need to get drunk to enjoy yourself then you've got a problem. You've got a man-child on your hands

That is an outrageous and revolting thing for him to do.

massive cleavages

Are hardly something you choose because the size of your cleavage is dependent on the size of your breasts.