On holiday. Middle of the street. Wearing a strapless top and DH pulls my top down (no bra, he knows this)

[Floys90]

I was mortified and embarrassed. He was drunk (no excuse). He said no one saw.

I feel v disrespected

Thoughts

Sulk?

Refuse any further holidays unless fully dressed? In what? Should she have been wearing a boiler suit with a padlock on the zip?

Why should any woman have to do this because her husband can't exercise impulse control and behaves like a sex pest?

I wouldn't accept or find it attractive if my partner exposed my tits while walking down the street because he was feeling a bit "juvenile" and I wouldn't accept it of my teenage sons either if they even considered doing it as a joke to their girlfriends.

Think about how you would feel if your child did it in a restaurant, sitting next to you and pulled down your strapless dress so your breasts fell out in front of everyone. Would you say, oh darling you're so funny with your little childish pranks?

No. You'd tell them it was inappropriate and they must not do that again, to anyone

Yet when it's a 40 odd year old pissed up idiot, it's a bit of teenage fun? Gross.

It looks like a deliberate attempt to humiliate you, from my perspective.
Is that normal for him? If so, you know what to do, assuming you have some self respect left or you've reached the end of your rope.
If its the first time he's behaved so immaturely, then I'd be emphasising how deeply disrespectful and insulting you found him, that he is on a warning and that any repeats or similar shit will not be tolerated. I'd also spend a significant portion of the rest of my holiday doing things on my own as "I clearly can't trust you to treat me as a real human being, so I'd prefer to go to XYZ alone, thanks, see you this evening".

@bellocchild

Wtf?

And you are married to him because....
??????

When people are drunk their true characters show.

Your DH has no respect for you and thinks of you as a "thing" that exists for his amusement and pleasure.

All the rest of the time he's just been pretending to be a nice person. This was his real self.

Get rid of him asap.

Being drunk, on holiday, out late, he probably felt for a moment like a teenager again and fancied a fool around.

It amounts to the same thing though-embarrassing someone else.

I didn't know teens who pulled females clothes down-or up for that matter in public.

men are idiots, especially on the drink, it's the sort of thing my OH would do thinking he was being funny

personally I would repay the favour with his shorts when he is about to jump in the pool

A vanishingly small number of men would do this.
Shrugging and claiming “men are idiots when they’ve had a drink” suggests your tolerance for shit behaviour is pitifully high.

When you're both completely sober, tell him exactly how what he did made you feel.

If he tries to laugh it off, say no. I need you to listen to me. And you need to show me that you respect me enough to listen.

And repeat how you felt.

Then tell him he will not be doing that to you again.

Then tell him you require an apology.

His reaction will tell you a lot about what to do next.

If he's genuinely contrite and shows it, take it as a stupid moment dealt with.

But if he laughs, sulks, refuses, sneers ...

What will you do next?

Christ you should always be wearing a bra in public in your late 40s.

Why should see?
Nothing like a bit of victim blaming.

I was in a nightclub once years ago with a strapless dress on, no bra, dancing. A complete stranger (male) did this to me and I instinctively punched him in the face and knocked him over. Bouncers intervened and he was thrown out, as was I for hitting him, but they understood and waited until he had left the street and got me to straight into a taxi in case he was waiting.
For your husband to do that is disgusting, I'm not sure I could forgive, regardless of whether he was drunk or not.

Who said I would tolerate it? I just said it's the sort of thing he would do and find funny - If it was my DH I would have knocked him the f*ck out

Any male over the age of 7 who would find this funny is a disrespectful immature dick.

I wonder if they'd hilariously attempt to do similar with their male friends or it's just women they enjoy publicly humiliating ...

Why?

Is he normally considerate, thoughtful, respectful etc and it was very out of the ordinary one off behaviour for him and he is mortified at what he did or is he generally an immature knob who can't handle his drink?

So, when he did it he was drunk, then he minimised it. And then since you woke up today, he has not said, "oh fuck, I'm so sorry, I'm such a dick. I can' tbelieve I did that" but is happily carrying on assuming you don't care?

I also assume this is not the first time he has done such a thing?

Why?

How long ago did this happen? This is pretty unforgivable. What made him do it? Has he done anything like this before?

imagine having @yeaitsmeagain as your mother? 😦

I had this done to me by a teenage stranger on a bike whilst walking on a promenade in Spain

It made me feel sick, humiliated, embarrassed and furious all at once. I can't imagine how I would feel if me DH had done it

Your response now depends on how he reacts. If he's usually great, this is a complete one off and he accepts he was an absolute twat and apologises profusely (& means it) maybe there is a chance
Anything else and it's a no

Oh - and the teenage boy came off quite badly when I shoved my parasol handle through his spokes and he flew over the handlebars...

I'm deciding how I feel

You know how you feel as you said so in your OP

I feel very disrespected

Are you gas-lighting yourself now maybe because you know that you will not get any validation from him?

You dont need his approval to validate your feelings.

But in this situation what he did was objectively 100% vile.

That would be the end of the relationship for me

Why ?