What things are “very Mumsnet”

[Kibble29]

Lighthearted of course before anyone says otherwise.

I really enjoy the threads that remind you of things that are quintessentially MN but rarely come up in real life. They always throw up lots of quips that I’ve forgotten about.

Such as:

(24 year old man with 2 children and a mortgage cheats on his wife, wife posts about it)

MN: have you considered that he doesn’t yet have a fully developed frontal lobe and this may contribute to his impulsive behaviour?

Everyone has mental health problems and children with SEN.

Poster:My DH says he hates me, never does any housework, ignores the kids, has stolen all my money, calls his mother a cunt, and shits in the wardrobe when he comes in pissed from the pub every night. My friends all say I should leave him, I'm so confused and don't know what to do.
Everyone: Why on Earth are you still with him?
Poster: But I love him so much...

…or ‘Am I overreacting?’

And he's a lovely man in every other way.

Using the word ghastly. I've never heard this uttered in the real world. Lots of times on her and it costume dramas

I am frequently perplexed about the drying of said washing when people are doing 6 loads a day for a family of 5 and 2 pets (I have 2 cats and they generate almost no laundry??)

One poster (after a period where it had pelted with rain, every day for literally weeks) explained it was because they lived in south London (obvs well known for its arid climate)

Lacking the skills to carry out simple tasks like booking a dentist appointment, so having to give it a special name to signal to everyone else thay you’re incompetent and likely a bit dim.

The word yuck, I have never heard an adult use this word outside of MN.

I use this word regularly in real life and very occasionally on here. Most of my friends do too.

Similarly the words grim and vile
(Usually about ensuite bathrooms , or anything hygeine related)

Another MIL one.
What do you think of these baby names.
Visiting London with a 6 month old & a 2 year old, where to go.
Why is my house not selling.
Someone is parking over my drive, what to do.

Why is my house not selling

The answer is always to put planters outside and put nicer bedding on the beds

I’ll just draw a diagram for you, which summarises these posts, but let me wash the penis glass first.

Getting offended when retail workers try and exchange pleasantries with you....

And apparently grown women also say “Gosh!”, “Goodness!” and “Horrid”.

The impossibly high standards. If your children eat crap at parties (or even a few times a week), if you don’t go to the gym 7 days a week, if you and your DH/P have some humdingers of rows which culminate in you sticking your middle finger up at him and mouthing FU to his back instead of sitting down calmly to discuss the matter at length, if your dog isn’t perfectly trained but instead acts like an arsehole on occasion, if you don’t cycle to work, if you wear Tu instead of Cos, if your child isn’t going to university, if you gave your child a name that’s in the top 10, if you don’t deep clean your house every week, if you get miffed because your neighbours have BBQs every single weekend up against your fence or play loud music in the garden, if you criticise a teacher who’s been a bit/lot shit, if you don’t spend hours with your kids making homemade decorations (preferably using foraged materials) for all the events throughout the year, or if you have anything grey in your house then you have Failed.

Having people think you are odd for admitting to liking sex!

Or thinking you’re odd if you’re not bothered about the fact that your partner masturbates. Not to mention the reaction to saying you’d happily help him!

Is this dress suitable for a wedding?
No sorry its too bridal = basically anything pastel coloured regardless of the style/floral pattern etc
No you can't possibly show your arms/shoulders/legs/any hint of cleavage.
No its far to bright /loud will draw attention to you.
No its bad luck to wear black/red /green.
I think the only possible solution is a ridiculously expensive polo neck sack in a beige - but obviously not too pale a beige for fear of being too bridal!!

Perfect summary!

Recently I answered the door and it was a chugger. After a few min talking to them my OH called on the phone and said 'what are you signing up for. You're too soft hearted don't sign up for another charity.' He had seen me from a notification from the video doorbell! I thought half of MN would be appalled that I answered the door in my own home without prior arrangement. The other half would be telling me that my partner was too controlling and I should LTB !

Don’t mock! It starts with a ham sandwich, but before you know it, he’s eating the last chocolate biscuit. 😀

The MN special. Let me guess - he’s controlling in other ways too? <head tilt>

Fuck off

This feels like a genius business idea in which he monitors doorbells and calls up to save you from JWs, chuggers, driveway repair men for a small annual fee

Ideal for rare MNers who do actually have to answer the door occasionally

New phrase is ‘reframe…’once you’ve ‘processed’ and ‘unpacked’ you now must ‘reframe’