What things are “very Mumsnet”

[Kibble29]

Lighthearted of course before anyone says otherwise.

I really enjoy the threads that remind you of things that are quintessentially MN but rarely come up in real life. They always throw up lots of quips that I’ve forgotten about.

Such as:

(24 year old man with 2 children and a mortgage cheats on his wife, wife posts about it)

MN: have you considered that he doesn’t yet have a fully developed frontal lobe and this may contribute to his impulsive behaviour?

Set your face to stunned…my dad ‘gave me away’ when I got married!

There is some validity in the first point. Eight hours wrapped up hot sweaty bedsheets definitely leaves me less fresher than eight hours in the office. It’s not the time difference it’s where you are in that time.

Wristfuckingwarmers as a gift.

Starting a post with "X here". You can smell the pomposity through the screen. You just know they spend even their homelife constantly speaking the wankspeak of the workplace and have less personality than a gnat's testicle.

Wrist warmers? What? They're a thing? 😳😳😳

I am curious, do you genuinely get sweaty in bed? Don't you just adjust how much or what bedding you use? (Clearly I don't experience it hence the curiosity)

They are suggested a lot on the 🎄board

We've been invited to a child free wedding but I want to bring my EBF baby. Bride says no.
A. Just decline and don't go. Bridie won't miss you but will murder the baby.

We've just been invited to a wedding in Hawaii, it will cost thousands and many days of annual leave.
A. Just say no, don't go. It is an invite, not a summons. Those who have destination weddings MUST understand that many will not make it, and that might be why they do it in the first place anyway.

My friend borrowed money and didn't pay it back. Now she is looking for more. It's only small amounts but it all adds up.
A. Do not lend money to anyone. OK lend it if you are happy that you'll never get it back. Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

We split the bill evenly when going out with friends for dinner. One couple eat the most expensive items on the menu and guzzle the booze. Should I say something?
A. Yes pay for yourself, or no and suck it up.

We are going on a family holiday, sharing a villa amongst three couples, five kids and granny. There are three rooms. How do we divide up the rooms, and how do we share the costs.
A. Sorry, that's mathematically impossible. Get your own accommodation, Oh wait, divide each room into four multiply by two, add a cot and a hospital bed for granny and it should work out ok.
Pay by weight for the accommodation.

What does everyone think of the name Hrooar? DH is one eighth Norwegian and we want to give DS a name that he’ll be spelling for the rest of his life in the UK because we want to be youneeq and spesh.

one word. Menopause.

Very valid point but I'm sure some of the sweaty bed posters aren't menopausal, the sweaty sleep posts come up fairly regularly

Making MH/SN excuses for every variety of lazy/selfish/rude/CF behaviour.

Lots it’s not menopause EXCLUSIVE!

But clearly night sweats are a real thing.

I can't find it?!

Being advised to LTB if you have the slightest disagreement with your DP/DH.

Being judged as lacking in something if you don't/can't drive.

Everyone has a cleaner.

Everyone in the same household doing their own washing separately.

Being advised to take in ironing if you need to make money quickly.

Log it with 101.

A and E. NOW

Yep, which brings me back to my original post

The inane posts asking people what they should buy their children for their birthday/Xmas.
If you don't know what to buy for your own child, how do you expect a bunch of strangers to?! How do you not know what they're into or like to play with?

Or how much do you spend? How is that helpful?
Everyone has their own budget, if my budget is eg £150, I won't suddenly be able to afford £400 because 85 MN posters said that's what they spent!
And if anyone suggests a (comparatively) low figure...people will say "you can't get away with that with teens" ....as if you'll magically find an extra few hundred pounds the moment your kids turn 13!

This is so Mumsnet.

The amount of tea that gets spat out in response to the hilarity on screen.

"Just spat my tea out"

I can confidently say you never.

Posting on the Christmas thread in January..

Everyone religiously meal plans and doesn't have anything else in their cupboards outside of the meal plan. If a minor ingredient for one of those meals has been forgotten, the world ends. If DH accidently used an ingredient for his sandwich, that is grounds for divorce.

OP - "My DH has a hobby that takes up all his time, but I can't possibly tell you what it is, it's far too outing."

Every other poster on MN - "It's cycling".

Yep, if you got married wearing a bin bag to save money on buying a dress, and your wedding breakfast consisted of two packets of salt and vinegar crisps that your husband passed around afterwards, I can see why your wedding is “still talked about to this day” 🤣

All your pants and socks get screwed up in one corner of the quilt cover. You'll always miss one, so end up with a damp corner.

Sorry, I meant to say - I wouldn't know 🤣