Why are some women so nasty?

[ForOliveShaker]

I’d say I’m a woman’s woman. I’m all for supporting other women.
I work with this lady who I’ve always felt just feels a certain way towards me. It’s been noticed by others too.

1. when I got a new car she said “that’s yours? Why did you get that? What did you need a new car for?”
2. arrived at the summer work gathering and she said “oh that’s a really nice dress you look amazing….fucking bitch” (at the time we were closer freiends but regardless that’s not what you say. Particularly as I was just going through a heartbreaking separation where my ex just got up and left me)
3. She Kept commenting on my weight during my heartbreak. I couldn’t really eat or sleep without crying. At first it wasn’t too bad. But after a while it was constant. I snapped one day and said “just stop”
4. at any opportunity she has. She discusses money matters. I am an only child but I’ve been raised to remember money matters are private as we don’t know what others are experiencing.
5. I was telling her privately in the office that I was a bit drunk after our last work night out. She shouted it across the office to another colleague.
6. during my heartbreak, as aforementioned, I couldn’t eat. She kept shouting across the office how much ozempic she’s taking. It almost seemed like she was in a bid to compete

I don’t know whether she’s just bothered by me. I’ve taken my distance. But at work it’s very uncomfortable to handle someone who seems to always see things as a competition. I know she would berate me behind my back too.

what do I do?

You've had the meaning of the comment explained in straightforward, literal terms now - more than once. It was a compliment, not an insult.

Actually tone and context may mean it was a compliment or that it was a way of being catty and nasty without being called out.

I often find it hard to work out which it is - often rely on previous experiences of a person and how others around who hear act and if not sure just completely ignore and remember for future interactions so I'm more prepared and wary.

Sympathy OP. I have met a woman like this and every interaction I had with her became extremely irritating. She had zero filter or tact. And her comments were crass.

I would be super professional at work and mostly commit everything to email. Job done, and it is just a job.

Weight is a massive trigger for women . How many times have I heard women say they hate another woman because she is slim . I've been on the receiving end of it in my younger days. Shes jealous of your young slim body op and you are going to have to find a way of rising above it . I would not tell her anything and slow fade away from her . If it starts to escalate report her .

Stop telling her so much about your life.

um....you were the one overcomplicating it by deciding her sex was innately relevant when it wasn't. Several other people have made exactly the same comment. You really don't sound like a 'woman's woman' tbh

Insane overgeneralisation. I'm starting to wonder if this is either a generational thing or a like-attracts-like situation between comments like this, the multiple others who go straight to 'jealousy!!!' when there's any hint of disagreement between women, and the OP herself who is apparently a 'woman's woman' but doesn't have female friends because woman are hard to deal with.

I have never in my life heard any woman say they hate another because they are slim. For you to not be able to count the times you've heard this suggests more about the people you spend time with than women in general.

Absolutely needs repeating!!

I think it definitely can be meant in a friendly way. Particularly when someone swears quite casually. I have had friends use it in a similar context and it basically is a self-derogatory joke and way of emphasizing the previous compliment. basically "you look really nice. So nice that I am super jealous of you and am going to call you a bitch because I am petty/you look so good it makes me insecure". Its a weird sarcasm. In her case, with the other examples, it probably means she is not a nice person. In fact, I would be tempted to read it as her accidentally speaking the truth in her "joke" - she really does feel a bit jealous of you and resents you for it.
But while on its own its a odd joke to make, its not necessarily hostile.

Calling someone a fucking bitch where you barely know them is bloody odd and nearly always hostile. How unself aware would you have to be to do that?

I doubt she is jealous about your breakup (sorry that happened x) but about having more money/looks, then it is probably jealousy. I have a friend like this, she is unhappy about her lot and probably should have made different choices. I think she feels she deserves more and others lives remind her of that a bit.

So maybe this woman is unhappy and finds it hard to keep it bottled in.