Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Fired due to my personality

318 replies

Underyourthumb · 05/10/2024 16:10

I started a new job 3 weeks ago and I thought all was going well until I got called into a meeting yesterday at 3pm. They told me that while I am pleasant and polite, I’m not very bubbly. This is a receptionist position in a dentist. One of the things that they said was “the girl we saw at the interview… we haven’t seen her since” l was trying not to get upset by this remark because I had no idea they felt this way and I thought all this time I WAS acting the same. I mean of course I’m going to be over the top and chatty and putting my best self out there at the interview because I’m trying to sell myself. But I am ALWAYS so happy and smiley and upbeat when patients come in. I have worked in customer service/hospitality and reception jobs for years and have always received such positive feedback regarding my demeanour and pleasantness so I am just so confused. They are saying they were hoping I would be more out there and bubbly and have a laugh with the patients. But I do try to do this with the ones who actually seem like they want to chat. Most of them don’t want to chat to the receptionist at the dentist… they just want to be checked in and take a seat. I’ve never been to a doctors or dentists where the reception team are the life and soul of the party and have chats with the patients.They have other things to be doing. I may ask them how their day is or if I’ve built a rapport with them already I might say “oh how’s your back now, are you feeling better since last time?” Etc.. I’m not miserable or anti social. But they want MORE. I am so so upset because it feels like such a personal attack on my personality rather than me not being good at the job. They don’t like me because of me and im trying not to let it hurt my feelings but it’s making me now second guess how I act. I’m definitely not bubbly and loud and outgoing, which it’s obviously what they’re after. But I can do the job well, and I am personable and friendly and professional and this is just a massive slap in the face. To lose my job over my personality is devastating!

Has anyone experienced this? How can I pick myself up? I feel like absolute shit about myself.

OP posts:
Sugarysugar · 05/10/2024 16:29

Well I would take it as a compliment to be described as " not bubbly".

" Bubbly"people are usually damn right annoying. And as you say a dentist's receptionist shouldn't need to be bubbly.

I suspect the practice is geared to the cosmetic side of dentistry - not towards the catering for people in physical pain. Since my dentists got taken over by a large chain this is the type of place it's becoming. They have got rid of the older staff and replaced them with young women who are quite glamorous. Seems totally off key when most of the patients prior to the take over were quite elderly . I think they are aiming to change that and aim for the cosmetic market.

So whilst I can understand you being upset about being told your personality isn't right I wouldn't be down about it. Because I think it's more the business isn't right for you rather than you not being right for it.

OffMyBleedinRocker · 05/10/2024 16:30

Underyourthumb · 05/10/2024 16:10

I started a new job 3 weeks ago and I thought all was going well until I got called into a meeting yesterday at 3pm. They told me that while I am pleasant and polite, I’m not very bubbly. This is a receptionist position in a dentist. One of the things that they said was “the girl we saw at the interview… we haven’t seen her since” l was trying not to get upset by this remark because I had no idea they felt this way and I thought all this time I WAS acting the same. I mean of course I’m going to be over the top and chatty and putting my best self out there at the interview because I’m trying to sell myself. But I am ALWAYS so happy and smiley and upbeat when patients come in. I have worked in customer service/hospitality and reception jobs for years and have always received such positive feedback regarding my demeanour and pleasantness so I am just so confused. They are saying they were hoping I would be more out there and bubbly and have a laugh with the patients. But I do try to do this with the ones who actually seem like they want to chat. Most of them don’t want to chat to the receptionist at the dentist… they just want to be checked in and take a seat. I’ve never been to a doctors or dentists where the reception team are the life and soul of the party and have chats with the patients.They have other things to be doing. I may ask them how their day is or if I’ve built a rapport with them already I might say “oh how’s your back now, are you feeling better since last time?” Etc.. I’m not miserable or anti social. But they want MORE. I am so so upset because it feels like such a personal attack on my personality rather than me not being good at the job. They don’t like me because of me and im trying not to let it hurt my feelings but it’s making me now second guess how I act. I’m definitely not bubbly and loud and outgoing, which it’s obviously what they’re after. But I can do the job well, and I am personable and friendly and professional and this is just a massive slap in the face. To lose my job over my personality is devastating!

Has anyone experienced this? How can I pick myself up? I feel like absolute shit about myself.

Fuck em

WaneyEdge · 05/10/2024 16:33

Sugarysugar · 05/10/2024 16:29

Well I would take it as a compliment to be described as " not bubbly".

" Bubbly"people are usually damn right annoying. And as you say a dentist's receptionist shouldn't need to be bubbly.

I suspect the practice is geared to the cosmetic side of dentistry - not towards the catering for people in physical pain. Since my dentists got taken over by a large chain this is the type of place it's becoming. They have got rid of the older staff and replaced them with young women who are quite glamorous. Seems totally off key when most of the patients prior to the take over were quite elderly . I think they are aiming to change that and aim for the cosmetic market.

So whilst I can understand you being upset about being told your personality isn't right I wouldn't be down about it. Because I think it's more the business isn't right for you rather than you not being right for it.

Mine have also gone a bit like this. TBF they were very kind and got me in with a surgeon at their surgical place when I needed an extraction, but the one I normally go to seems very much focused on aesthetics now.

Itabsolutelyispossible · 05/10/2024 16:34

"the girl we saw at the interview"?

Calling you a girl tells you something about their attitude I think. Do they think women should be all pretty and pleasing to men?

Original poster
Underyourthumb · 05/10/2024 16:47

Sugarysugar · 05/10/2024 16:29

Well I would take it as a compliment to be described as " not bubbly".

" Bubbly"people are usually damn right annoying. And as you say a dentist's receptionist shouldn't need to be bubbly.

I suspect the practice is geared to the cosmetic side of dentistry - not towards the catering for people in physical pain. Since my dentists got taken over by a large chain this is the type of place it's becoming. They have got rid of the older staff and replaced them with young women who are quite glamorous. Seems totally off key when most of the patients prior to the take over were quite elderly . I think they are aiming to change that and aim for the cosmetic market.

So whilst I can understand you being upset about being told your personality isn't right I wouldn't be down about it. Because I think it's more the business isn't right for you rather than you not being right for it.

I’m yes it is that kind of place actually… everyone who works there is female and mostly in their 20s (apart from a couple of people in their early 30s, like me). And they are very focused on doing TikTok’s and being quite “trendy” I think.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 05/10/2024 16:51

Underyourthumb · 05/10/2024 16:47

I’m yes it is that kind of place actually… everyone who works there is female and mostly in their 20s (apart from a couple of people in their early 30s, like me). And they are very focused on doing TikTok’s and being quite “trendy” I think.

Show quote history

Oh God, can't be doing with that, they've done you a favour.

If you have a last day left make sure you tell them thanks fuckers with a thumbs up and all cheery like 😂

Doggymummar · 05/10/2024 16:54

So did they fire you, or ask you to amp up the personality? It's not clear to me.

Original poster
Underyourthumb · 05/10/2024 16:59

Doggymummar · 05/10/2024 16:54

So did they fire you, or ask you to amp up the personality? It's not clear to me.

They fired me

OP posts:
OffMyBleedinRocker · 05/10/2024 17:00

Doggymummar · 05/10/2024 16:54

So did they fire you, or ask you to amp up the personality? It's not clear to me.

@Underyourthumb sue the bastards. Unfair dismissal as there is no good reason for firing you.They will be shitting themselves.

Original poster
Underyourthumb · 05/10/2024 17:01

OffMyBleedinRocker · 05/10/2024 17:00

@Underyourthumb sue the bastards. Unfair dismissal as there is no good reason for firing you.They will be shitting themselves.

Edited
Show quote history

I thought this! I’ve only been there 3 weeks though so aren’t they allowed to fire me for any reason while I’m on probation?

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 05/10/2024 17:06

That's mad. I would be freaked if my dental receptionist was bubbly. I just need pleasant and helpful. Definitely don't see bubbly at my doctors as they only scowl.
This is nothing to do with you. You will get another job better suited to your personality

Rainbowshine · 05/10/2024 17:08

Bubbly? Bloody hell I thought that was an outdated term in the 1980’s! If they’re using words like that to describe the attributes that a person needs for a job then you’re better off out of there. It’s ok you can say it was a temp job if asked about it. Not worth pursuing any claim if you’ve only been there 3 weeks. Move on and find a better employer!

CrazyAndSagittarius · 05/10/2024 17:10

They sound like utter arseholes and so they've done you a favour. They also need to watch themselves. You can't demand very specific types of behaviour from your staff other than being polite and professional. What if someone's autistic or has issues with depression/mental health or has a physical disability that was hard to cope with so they couldn't be over the top bubbly everyday. There is also potentially sexism going here as outlined by a pp. They are on dodgy ground.

Plus who the fuck wants an over the top bubbly dental receptionist. I want someone polite, helpful and reassuring. Not in my face and chatty.

BobbyBiscuits · 05/10/2024 17:12

A receptionist needs to welcoming, calm, professional and efficient. 'bubbly' is a sexist term anyway. What does it mean, being young, pretty, giggling girlishly, wearing bright colours, fucking singing?!
I can't really see what's at the bottom of it but they obviously don't think you're a good fit.
To be honest they don't sound great. So just carry on job seeking. Don't dwell on their unconstructive and unreasonable assessment.

Attelina · 05/10/2024 17:12

To be honest, most receptionists are sour faced and unhelpful so being bubbly would be quite nice upon occasion.

Not in a dentist though where it's more befitting g to have a professional manner.

I think they have made the reason up because one of them has a mate lined up foe the job who wasn't available before and they want you out.

LemonGelato · 05/10/2024 17:17

Underyourthumb · 05/10/2024 17:01

I thought this! I’ve only been there 3 weeks though so aren’t they allowed to fire me for any reason while I’m on probation?

Show quote history

Not even related to probation. Until you have 2 years of service they can fire you for any reason (including 'not being bubbly enough' 🙄) So long as the reason isn't due to a protected characteristics such as age, race, sex etc, which would be discrimination, they can let you go at any time in those 2 years. So you probably can't "sue" or claim unfair dismissal in the employment tribunal for this. Having said that, the word bubbly is a it dodgy, bet they wouldn't say it to a man for a start and would be on dangerous ground is an employee was disabled, for example with depression. But ET discrimination claims are very difficult to go through, almost certainly not worth it in this case as you've described it.

Don't take it heart, it's a daft reason and they are dicks. When I go to the dentist I am already nervous enough without having a receptionist being 'bubbly to me. You'll find another job, don't give up.

*Edited to add more info on ET claims

BarkLife · 05/10/2024 17:18

It could be sex discrimination?

How many 'bubbly' men are there?

Any employment lawyers about? Could this be in contravention of the EA?

OffMyBleedinRocker · 05/10/2024 17:18

Do you have an HR contact? Mention unfair dismissal due to age....

Kitkat1523 · 05/10/2024 17:19

Underyourthumb · 05/10/2024 16:59

They fired me

Show quote history

Bastards
good luck OP….hope something turns up soon🍀

OffMyBleedinRocker · 05/10/2024 17:20

@Underyourthumb don't take this lying down. Have you got a local Facebook page you could name and shame them on. Find out who the CEO is and email them.

WANKERS

muggart · 05/10/2024 17:25

I'm surprised they didn't give you a chance to become more bubbly and just fired you out of the blue like that. Can't be a great place to work with that kind of management.

Hopefully you can laugh about it with friends some day because it's a bit bonkers really.

AdviceNeeded2024 · 05/10/2024 17:26

How ridiculous never heard such a stupid reason to fire someone! If you were rude or aggressive I’d get it, but not ‘bubbly enough’ 🙄 fuck that!

What I want from a receptionist or similar is someone who acknowledges me, is polite and pleasant, and is efficient and lets me know what to do or what to expect. I don’t want a 15 minute conversation about nothing.

As a PP says, ‘bubbly’ is usually code for over the top or annoying as fuck (or really sickly fake/false). I bet they’d never say this to a male!!

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 05/10/2024 17:26

Sugarysugar · 05/10/2024 16:29

Well I would take it as a compliment to be described as " not bubbly".

" Bubbly"people are usually damn right annoying. And as you say a dentist's receptionist shouldn't need to be bubbly.

I suspect the practice is geared to the cosmetic side of dentistry - not towards the catering for people in physical pain. Since my dentists got taken over by a large chain this is the type of place it's becoming. They have got rid of the older staff and replaced them with young women who are quite glamorous. Seems totally off key when most of the patients prior to the take over were quite elderly . I think they are aiming to change that and aim for the cosmetic market.

So whilst I can understand you being upset about being told your personality isn't right I wouldn't be down about it. Because I think it's more the business isn't right for you rather than you not being right for it.

Solid sense here. When I go to the dentist's what I'm looking for is efficiency, not a lovely chat! This would apply even if the focus was more on cosmetic work, I think. Who arrives at the dentist's feeling upbeat and chatty? It's not somewhere any of us go for fun, surely?

AdviceNeeded2024 · 05/10/2024 17:27

BarkLife · 05/10/2024 17:18

It could be sex discrimination?

How many 'bubbly' men are there?

Any employment lawyers about? Could this be in contravention of the EA?

100% I guarantee a male wouldn’t be held to the same standards. Then again it’s probably the sort of employer who thinks only females should be receptionists as it’s ’wimmins work int it’

Dotto · 05/10/2024 17:29

What an unprofessional bunch of twats. You're better off somewhere else, honestly. Let me guess, no pension or sickness benefits either?