Fired due to my personality

[Underyourthumb]

I started a new job 3 weeks ago and I thought all was going well until I got called into a meeting yesterday at 3pm. They told me that while I am pleasant and polite, I’m not very bubbly. This is a receptionist position in a dentist. One of the things that they said was “the girl we saw at the interview… we haven’t seen her since” l was trying not to get upset by this remark because I had no idea they felt this way and I thought all this time I WAS acting the same. I mean of course I’m going to be over the top and chatty and putting my best self out there at the interview because I’m trying to sell myself. But I am ALWAYS so happy and smiley and upbeat when patients come in. I have worked in customer service/hospitality and reception jobs for years and have always received such positive feedback regarding my demeanour and pleasantness so I am just so confused. They are saying they were hoping I would be more out there and bubbly and have a laugh with the patients. But I do try to do this with the ones who actually seem like they want to chat. Most of them don’t want to chat to the receptionist at the dentist… they just want to be checked in and take a seat. I’ve never been to a doctors or dentists where the reception team are the life and soul of the party and have chats with the patients.They have other things to be doing. I may ask them how their day is or if I’ve built a rapport with them already I might say “oh how’s your back now, are you feeling better since last time?” Etc.. I’m not miserable or anti social. But they want MORE. I am so so upset because it feels like such a personal attack on my personality rather than me not being good at the job. They don’t like me because of me and im trying not to let it hurt my feelings but it’s making me now second guess how I act. I’m definitely not bubbly and loud and outgoing, which it’s obviously what they’re after. But I can do the job well, and I am personable and friendly and professional and this is just a massive slap in the face. To lose my job over my personality is devastating!

Has anyone experienced this? How can I pick myself up? I feel like absolute shit about myself.

Dodged a bullet there haven't you?
You sound fine as you are. You're on reception and supposed to be the calm, efficient and professional face of the practice. Empathic but not over bearing and ' bubbly' a euphemism for annoying imo.

It's only 3 weeks. Leave it off your cv.

They sound very foolish. You sound an excellent employee with a pleasant and professional demeanor. My father's ex-wife had a medical practice and she would have given anything to find competent employees with cheerful demeanors - not as easy as one thinks!
It sounds like they are looking for glamour girls or models to shmooze the customers, which is just ridiculous.

It sounds to me like they wanted an exact replica of the previous receptionist, I had a job like that once where everything was “oh but Sheila used to do it this way…” and I came to realise that they didn’t want me, they wanted Sheila. Some people are just not normal and so it leaves you feeling confused because you were doing a good job, you were being you and there’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent them firing you because you just weren’t Sheila.

At least it was just 3 weeks so you can leave it off your CV, bloody annoying though.

Gosh I feel for you, same happened to me many years ago.

I was young then, and thought I was unfit because I wasn't the bubbly flirty type at all as a person. They asked me to answer the phone and express excitement as if I had won the lottery. Every day, every minute. Literally they used these words. Fired me after 3 weeks.

It hurt me because it was actually touching my lack of self esteem, I was kind of unfit mostly anywhere.
Years later now I know that I'll never be a tik tok star type but I have a happy life where people appreciate me for what I am. I now know myself and know that I'd never be happy in a normal job. I'm self employed and happy.
Maybe I'm a bit of an extreme, but that's to say that they don't accept you as much as you'd probably hate them in the long run.
YANBU, this company is not a fit for you, unless you want to turn into a tabletop dancer type.

On the positive side you are very good to sell yourself so please give yourself a chance to find a better job that suits your personality.
You'd be unhappy in the long run if they are so unfit for you.

Personally by the way I hate customer reps when they want to chat at all costs as most of the time I don't !
I'd run away from this type of surgery as it's clearly money oriented and not customer oriented.
Don't have any close friend who would be a fit for that, I usually see intelligent sensitive people who have a personality and a soul.
Consider this as a blessing occurring to you and a badge of honour.

I think you could argue it was due to a protected characteristic (sex) since as you say, they wouldn’t have expected a man to be “bubbly”. So they fired her for not living up to a sexist expectation on women, similar to firing someone for not wearing heels or makeup.

That said, I’d balance the chance of success if you took them to tribunal against the toll it could take on your mental health, etc. it might be easier in the long run to just write them bad reviews wherever you can, and move on. Definitely try not to take it personally. I think we can all agree they’re the ones with the problem, not you.

This isn’t true - not in the UK anyway. Once off probation any attempts to remove a permanent employee must go through a formal disciplinary process unless it’s a redundancy.

They cannot “fire you for any reason.”

Is OP US based?

Are you still probation? If so there is not much you can do and to be honest I probably would not want to work there as they sound like idiots. Unless you are being downright mean or rude who cares if you are not “bubbly”?! Are you a children’s entertainer?!

There's a 'bubbly" woman at work and whilst she is nice enough she does my head in. "Bubbly" means young, immature, incompetent and annoying to me.

What people want from a receptionist is someone friendly and competent.

I know this is a blow to your confidence but it's them not you. I wonder if they've not got enough money to keep you to make up this shit?

While this is tempting - if future employers do a search on your socials (and they do) - this will really put them off.

It sounds like they have done you a favour, OP…

They would not describe a man “not bubbly enough.” I’d consider taking this to an Employment Tribunal for sex discrimination.

Also leave a Google review. You can be anonymous / use any name you want on your reviews and detail what kind of company they are.

No you are incorrect. Probation means nothing at the moment and there are no statutory dismissal procedures which must be followed. An employee currently cannot apply to the Employment Tribunal for unfair dismissal where length of service is under 2 years. if dismissed under 2 years, all the employer must do is pay them any contractual notice pay.

The Government are proposing to change this but it's not enacted in law yet.

If you still don't believe me check CIPD or ACAs websites.

Unfair dismissal - Dismissals - Acas
It might be unfair dismissal if an employee worked for their employer for at least 2 years and any of the following apply:

I don’t think you have understood what you have written with the greatest of respect. It is simply incorrect to say somebody can be fired for any reason in the first two years of employment. That is incorrect (they can go via redundancy or performance manage them out.)

What the law says:

Overview
Dismissal is when your employer ends your employment - they do not always have to give you notice.
If you’re dismissed, your employer must show they’ve:
a valid reason that they can justify
acted reasonably in the circumstances
They must also:
be consistent - for example, not dismiss you for doing something that they let other employees do
have investigated the situation fully before dismissing you - for example, if a complaint was made about you
If you’re a part-time or fixed-term worker, you cannot be treated less favourably than a full-time or permanent employee.

https://www.gov.uk/dismissal#:~:text=If%20you're%20dismissed%2C%20your,acted%20reasonably%20in%20the%20circumstances

Reasons you can be dismissed are here:

www.gov.uk/dismissal/reasons-you-can-be-dismissed

But wouldn’t they at least have to give her a warning and chances to improve? 🤔

No.

Exactly this 🤣

No, discrimination law is unusual in that you have protection from day one of any employment, whether it be permanent, temporary or casual. I agree that for me personally it would be “well that was upsetting, let’s move on” but it’s up to the OP if she wants to challenge these very poor recruitment and performance management practices. Good luck OP, don’t let the b* grind you down! 💐

Learn from it and move on. Remember, however thin you make a pancake, it always has 2 sides. Best wishes in the future.