Fired due to my personality

[Underyourthumb]

I started a new job 3 weeks ago and I thought all was going well until I got called into a meeting yesterday at 3pm. They told me that while I am pleasant and polite, I’m not very bubbly. This is a receptionist position in a dentist. One of the things that they said was “the girl we saw at the interview… we haven’t seen her since” l was trying not to get upset by this remark because I had no idea they felt this way and I thought all this time I WAS acting the same. I mean of course I’m going to be over the top and chatty and putting my best self out there at the interview because I’m trying to sell myself. But I am ALWAYS so happy and smiley and upbeat when patients come in. I have worked in customer service/hospitality and reception jobs for years and have always received such positive feedback regarding my demeanour and pleasantness so I am just so confused. They are saying they were hoping I would be more out there and bubbly and have a laugh with the patients. But I do try to do this with the ones who actually seem like they want to chat. Most of them don’t want to chat to the receptionist at the dentist… they just want to be checked in and take a seat. I’ve never been to a doctors or dentists where the reception team are the life and soul of the party and have chats with the patients.They have other things to be doing. I may ask them how their day is or if I’ve built a rapport with them already I might say “oh how’s your back now, are you feeling better since last time?” Etc.. I’m not miserable or anti social. But they want MORE. I am so so upset because it feels like such a personal attack on my personality rather than me not being good at the job. They don’t like me because of me and im trying not to let it hurt my feelings but it’s making me now second guess how I act. I’m definitely not bubbly and loud and outgoing, which it’s obviously what they’re after. But I can do the job well, and I am personable and friendly and professional and this is just a massive slap in the face. To lose my job over my personality is devastating!

Has anyone experienced this? How can I pick myself up? I feel like absolute shit about myself.

Don't take it to heart. Their attitude is the problem, not your personality. They are clearly all about image. The last thing I'd want in a dentist is the receptionist laughing and joking with me. I'd just want someone friendly and polite to check me in. Totally stupid. If that's their attitude they've done you a favour.

Sounds like they’re looking for a stand up comic rather than a receptionist. So odd.

I think that what they are probably looking for is someone who can put patients at ease. So someone with a 'nurse' type vibe. Friendly but relaxed. They're not dissing your personality or expecting you to be cracking jokes and the life amd sole of the party. But they sound like they want someone who is a bit chatty, as opposed to a business or drs receptionist. Maybe just start to take note of how others who serve you make you feel (i.e. in restaurants, cafes, at supermarkets etc and try to emulate good examples). I think that they are probably just trying to tell you to relax a bit, but it's easier said than done when you are new to a job and concentrating on not making mistakes. Don't take it personally. It will come with time. You'll naturally relax and get to know the patients more.

Now you've mentioned Tik Tok and trendy young dentists, it sounds like they've got a particular imagine in mind. To be honest it's not an image I'd want to be part of and they sound shallow as fuck. You sound lovely though and I think they've done you massive favour.

Such a ridiculous reason - I would ask them for this in writing though - if only to shit them up a bit. Normally you should be given a chance to improve so if they haven't given you a further opportunity to be more 'bubbly' it seems a bit off. I suspect you were doing a good job but for some reason they need to let you go and this was the best poor excuse they came up with.

@Underyourthumb you sound like a very authentic person who has the emotional intelligence to be considerate of the setting.

I am sorry it went the way it did but you sound like a wonderful asset to any potential employer. Onwards and upwards.

Our dentists went nuts when they became part of a large group. Front of house all look like plane crew. Young, fake tans, weird eyebrows, winged eyeliner, heavy foundation, bronzer. Plus long gell nails. Thankfully the professional staff are normal.

Bubbly = airhead with no filter, in other words it's an insult!

this. be yourself. Move on. Don't let these people affect your opinion of yourself. Be your own best friend xxx

It was the actual owner of the practice. It’s a smaller family run practice so the owner and the manager were both there

Ask them where all these requirements were listed in job description? Let them know you feel like you’re being penalised for not acting your authentic self.

As long as you are polite and competent, I really don’t see what their issue is!

They sound like utter wankers. It must have felt so awful. I hope you find something much better where they appreciate you.

You’ve dodged a bullet I reckon

in another setting you’d be a fabulous receptionist
Ive worked in dentistry for many years and patients don’t want bubbly

they want warm welcoming caring and efficient. And so do the rest of the staff

I couldn't disagree more with your interpretation of what the OP has said and what you think her employers want. Read the thread. Nobody wants a chatty receptionist at the dentist's. As for your patronising advise to a very experienced receptionist in her 30s to look for good examples when she's in a cafe or at the supermarket, words fail me. Read the room.

Thanks everyone for your comments, they have made me feel better. They did actually mention it to me on like my 3rd day. They would say things about the previous receptionist before me about how she was so wonderful because she did xy and z and they’ve been interviewing for ages without any success because even when people have the right experience, they don’t have the right vibe and they’re big on personality there apparently because you have to be able to fit in with he team because “they are a family”. But at first I was like… well it’s day 3 I’m just getting to grips with everything but I felt like I also had to perform and kind of act and put on a pretend personality. But even with me doing that it wasn’t enough

Honestly, several things jump out to me in this. The word 'bubbly', if they used that specifically, I would complain about; I've never heard any man being expected to be 'bubbly'. To add to this you were described as a 'girl' which presumably you are not.

I would write a complaint letter setting out the unfair (and, frankly, sexist) reasons for your dismissal. It probably won't go anywhere if you are so new (I have no knowledge of employment law so worth checking) but it may make you feel a bit better.

I am shocked that women are still expected to be anything other than professional, polite and competent. 'Bubby' should never come into it.

Bonkers. If you are already friendly and police do they want you to start acting like your on speed? Ask them to define what they mean by 'bubbly'.

As pp have succinctly said: Fuck 'em!

Hi OP- I feel you. One of my first jobs was catering and apparently they had a complaint I wasn't smiling enough from a regular and they gave me a warning to this effect. My till was always spot on, I was a hard worker etc. honestly it just felt like a kick in the teeth. I am and was always pleasant with customers but I'm not an insincere bubbly kind of person either and I was young and possibly a bit shy at the time. Anyway they didn't fire me but I kind of wish they had, it wasn't a nice working environment, I suspect you are probably better off out of it!

The OP states that she has successful experience in customer service/ hospitality, so it's unlikely that at this stage she needs to 'emulate good examples' from such roles.

It seems to be a problem with this specific workplace. Either they want to turn the dental practice into something they can advertise on Insta, or as others suggest, they have someone else lined up for the job, or possibly there's some dodgy bloke in the team who wants someone flirty and thinks OP is not sufficiently responsive to his charms. Not in the spirit of the Equalities Act, but hard to prove, and there's probably not much that can be done after just 3 weeks.

When I go to the dentist, I like to see a receptionist who is professional, polite and helpful, not bubbly.

Ughh... I wouldn't return to a practice that had the type of receptionist they want you to be.

Absolutely- I would never hire someone I saw talking negatively about a past employer on social media. The place to post would be glassdoor as your name is anonymous and who cares if they can guess who has posted- I doubt you'd be asking for a reference from them anyway!

Its a shit excuse, you need to be professional in that environment not "bubbly"
There must be another reason, its not you its something to do with the business or similar

The receptionists at my dentists are efficient, polite and friendly, in that order. It’s perfect. I am organising medical treatment not going to a stand up comedy show.

@Underyourthumb You must have beautiful teeth to have landed the job - as to “Bubbly”- yuck.
A fake bubbly person would be inappropriate in a dentist’s surgery.

Someone with a reassuring manner is what matters.

Be glad you aren’t a fake bubbly person.

You’ll get another job soon 🙂

(How bizarre -I’m on the way to a shop and a couple just passed me and the woman described herself being dozy as “ A little bit blonde”)

That’s so insulting to blonde women!)