Fired due to my personality

[Underyourthumb]

I started a new job 3 weeks ago and I thought all was going well until I got called into a meeting yesterday at 3pm. They told me that while I am pleasant and polite, I’m not very bubbly. This is a receptionist position in a dentist. One of the things that they said was “the girl we saw at the interview… we haven’t seen her since” l was trying not to get upset by this remark because I had no idea they felt this way and I thought all this time I WAS acting the same. I mean of course I’m going to be over the top and chatty and putting my best self out there at the interview because I’m trying to sell myself. But I am ALWAYS so happy and smiley and upbeat when patients come in. I have worked in customer service/hospitality and reception jobs for years and have always received such positive feedback regarding my demeanour and pleasantness so I am just so confused. They are saying they were hoping I would be more out there and bubbly and have a laugh with the patients. But I do try to do this with the ones who actually seem like they want to chat. Most of them don’t want to chat to the receptionist at the dentist… they just want to be checked in and take a seat. I’ve never been to a doctors or dentists where the reception team are the life and soul of the party and have chats with the patients.They have other things to be doing. I may ask them how their day is or if I’ve built a rapport with them already I might say “oh how’s your back now, are you feeling better since last time?” Etc.. I’m not miserable or anti social. But they want MORE. I am so so upset because it feels like such a personal attack on my personality rather than me not being good at the job. They don’t like me because of me and im trying not to let it hurt my feelings but it’s making me now second guess how I act. I’m definitely not bubbly and loud and outgoing, which it’s obviously what they’re after. But I can do the job well, and I am personable and friendly and professional and this is just a massive slap in the face. To lose my job over my personality is devastating!

Has anyone experienced this? How can I pick myself up? I feel like absolute shit about myself.

“Bubbly” and “girl” 🤮 🤮

If it makes you feel any better, I once had my probation extended in a receptionist role because they said I wasn't 'sparkly' enough.

Ask them to send you a written copy of the reasons for your dismissal, and why they didn’t let you know so that you could amp up the burden bales (🤢). If nothing else it will make them shit themselves.

They can get rid of you that easily yes, I wouldn’t go to a tribunal for this as tempting as it may be and such a short time of employment. Apparently the employment tribunal outcome database is available for anyone to consult. As much as employers are not supposed to judge potential employees let’s be real here.

I would thank your lucky stars you haven’t ended up working somewhere like that seems a bit weird really.

I absolutely loathe that word, ‘bubbly’. It’s utterly sexist - when is any male ever expected to be ‘bubbly’?

It certainly sounds sexist! Men are never required to be bubbly, are they? or get fired if they are not...
Can you write a review on GlassDoor? (The 'good employers' - or not - website)

Ugh. Bubbly girl. They’ve done you a favour. They just wanted tits and teeth on the front desk.

It sounds very sexist. If the people who fired you are female, it's possible they may not have grasped that it's perfectly possible for women to be sexist. Only employing 'bubbly' women mostly under 30 sounds very dodgy. Could it possibly have been an excuse because they didn't realise you had children, or they thought you were younger than you are?

This sounds like a bullshit reason to me. I wonder if there’s a family member who needs a job…

Very good point.

I've never thought "I'll book the dentist more often because of the fun and bubbly receptionist. We have such a giggle there."

I agree with the last paragraph. It sucks, OP. I hope you have better luck in your next job.

Who has done the firing?

Was it an actual dentist or a practice manager?

Someone has taken a dislike to you or sees you as a threat because they have not given you a chance to be more "bubbly" . I think the whole "bubbly " thing was just an excuse.

When I worked in a public facing role I only chatted if the customer instigated it . Most people want eye contact, a smile and a greeting and to be processed efficiently and quickly .

I would hate a bubbly chatty receptionist at the dentist. Sounds like you are sensitive and in tune with what the patients want.

You are better off out of that place. Staying there would have ground you down anyway. Sounds toxic.

Hi OP, I work in HR and I would suggest you call ACAS and speak to them regarding this and ask their advice.

In general, they can fire you for whatever reason they like within the first 2 years as long as it's not related to a protected character under the equality act. But I would say they are on very dodgy ground with the "bubbly" and "girl" comments. PPs are correct, nobody would complain a man wasn't "bubbly" enough.

I think you'd have a fight on your hands claiming sex based discrimination, it is norotiously difficult to prove at tribunal but see what ACAS say.

Seek advise on this through ACAS

dismissing someone on grounds of bubbly personality seems wrong

I could be talking nonsense here, but is it possible that if ACAS said there was a possible case that OP could use that to get a slightly better pay off?

I think that’s really unfair. I used to travel a lot for work and I came across so many “bubbly” hotel receptionists and flight attendants that completely made my day with their warm and chatty personality - both male and female. I don’t think they’re held to different standards in front of house roles that rely on personality

I'm sorry this happened OP. I'm going to read between the lines and suggest the sexist bastards who suggested you weren't bubbly enough meant you didn't show your tits enough.

The carry on films want the rest of the cast back.

The last thing I'd want if I had a dental phobia would be a Barbara Windsor type saying "Ooh what a lovely pear! Hee hee hee."

Whether you're just worried and catastrophising or are genuinely concerned they might ask you to leave, I'd just look for another job. This organisation sounds sexist and unprofessional. They don't deserve your experience.

A man would never be asked to be more bubbly as others have said. Also, you mention perhaps asking more about how patients are (how's your back?). I wouldn't. You sound pleasant and professional as you are. Patients may not want clinical issues brought up in reception for no reason (I'm sure you judge it well when you ask now but I wouldn't do it more often because you feel you must say something).

I remember reading the newspaper wanted ads in the 90's and there would be ads for receptionists etc 'with a bubbly personality'. It seemed really weird back then. Now it's just pitiful.

You sound smart and capable. I hope you find a more deserving employer.

Fuck them so much.

Maybe there would be space to negotiate a better deal from them. I mean, it doesn't sound like a place you'd want to stay at long term, now, but if you spoke to ACAS and asserted your rights, maybe they would offer a more graceful exit, eg call it redundancy not firing and give you a good reference that states that as your reason for leaving.

It's not you - it's them. They sound completely unprofessional but unfortunately they've dropped you in the shit. ☹️