Fired due to my personality

[Underyourthumb]

I started a new job 3 weeks ago and I thought all was going well until I got called into a meeting yesterday at 3pm. They told me that while I am pleasant and polite, I’m not very bubbly. This is a receptionist position in a dentist. One of the things that they said was “the girl we saw at the interview… we haven’t seen her since” l was trying not to get upset by this remark because I had no idea they felt this way and I thought all this time I WAS acting the same. I mean of course I’m going to be over the top and chatty and putting my best self out there at the interview because I’m trying to sell myself. But I am ALWAYS so happy and smiley and upbeat when patients come in. I have worked in customer service/hospitality and reception jobs for years and have always received such positive feedback regarding my demeanour and pleasantness so I am just so confused. They are saying they were hoping I would be more out there and bubbly and have a laugh with the patients. But I do try to do this with the ones who actually seem like they want to chat. Most of them don’t want to chat to the receptionist at the dentist… they just want to be checked in and take a seat. I’ve never been to a doctors or dentists where the reception team are the life and soul of the party and have chats with the patients.They have other things to be doing. I may ask them how their day is or if I’ve built a rapport with them already I might say “oh how’s your back now, are you feeling better since last time?” Etc.. I’m not miserable or anti social. But they want MORE. I am so so upset because it feels like such a personal attack on my personality rather than me not being good at the job. They don’t like me because of me and im trying not to let it hurt my feelings but it’s making me now second guess how I act. I’m definitely not bubbly and loud and outgoing, which it’s obviously what they’re after. But I can do the job well, and I am personable and friendly and professional and this is just a massive slap in the face. To lose my job over my personality is devastating!

Has anyone experienced this? How can I pick myself up? I feel like absolute shit about myself.

Some places have such weird ideas for their receptionist to be. I worked in a place where i was supposed to be chatty, friendly and bubbly.

Problem was i let the visitor take the lead. You can tell if someone doesnt want to have a chat etc. I probed a little but but if they didnt want to engage i wouldnt bug them. I was still friendly and professional. But they told me off for not being chatty enough 🤣.

Then they decided i was just shy. Two scenarios were there nail in my coffin.

1st: the boss decided i was too quiet (and therefore too shy) on the phone because she couldnt hear me. She was about 10 foot away in an enclosed office with the door closed with a busy open plan behind me. I ended up shouting down the phone and ppl on the other end said i didnt need to shout.

2nd: visitor came in who has meetings every 3 months. I had only been there 2 months. I said good morning etc etc and asked for his name to let a colleague know he was there. He asked all friendly but patronising. 'Oh dont you know me?' And i said 'oh sorry were we speaking on the phone earlier?' He said no, then transpired we had never met and he knew we hadnt. I was thinking why the fuck you asking if i know you then? So i introduced myself and asked his name again and had a wee chat as was enforced by management.

My colleague arrived to take him to the meeting room and he started the whole spiel of ' that wee girl doesnt know me. Etc' and colleague acted all annoyed at me thinking i had ignored him and made a point of introducing us.

Suppose i wasnt a fit for them, but i was chatty when people wanted me to be.

Nothing to do with being pleasing to men.

this is totally out of order. You could take them to a tribunal for this, as it’s disconnected to your job.

don't feel bad about it, you are just possibly in the wrong place to have your talents, experience and personality valued.

Their loss not yours.

keep records, confirm on email and keep copies. Tell friends, seek advice from Citizens Advice bureau.

I'd have asked if any customers have complained... The Clients probably love you. Go forth and find something better x Mention the TikToks if anyone asks why you lost your job.

Don't feel like that. Obviously I don't know all the details but it sounds like they've got other reasons for it.

1. Dentists' receptionists aren't bubbly normally.
2. Excessively bubbly ppl are annoying anyway.
3. You're probably like me - friendly and intelligent, which is better than being a bubbly bimbo!

Goodness that is as awful OP as they sound like they have dated ideas about employees. I had to endure attitudes like that when I worked in a pub but this was back in the early 00s! I was once told by the Landlady that I needed to put a brush through my hair as I looked like I had been dragged through a hedge backwards! They also told me that for a Hawaiian themed night they were having I had to wear a grass skirt and a coconut bikini top, I refused and she said it's what the customers like to see on a girl and what she expects from her staff; I refused again and she said that I didn't have to wear the outfit but if I was choosing to wear a man's Hawaiian shirt like the male bar staff I would need to tie up the shirt like a cropped top so as to appear more feminine.

Not quite the same but my sister was on the second day on a training course in a sales place and she got called out and told she wasnt right and escorted off the premises. Everyone else was at least 25 years younger than her. Even the HR woman had kept saying, 'we never hire people as old as you!'

She saw a no win, no fee solicitor and was offered £3k. She kept two thirds.

I attend an NHS dentist who also do private. Dentist and reception staff are all very young. The receptionist has never spoken to me except to ask for money or date of another appointment. I was also a GP receptionist for a few years and no one was ever bubby ( you don't know what patients are dealing with) I think as long as you do your job and are pleasant and not miserable looking then it's no reason to fire you. You're far better out if that place.

Quite. I've never heard of a bloke described as 'bubbly'. Dreadful term. Whatever happened to the ideal receptionist being helpful, capable and efficient? - qualities, let's face it, that are far harder to come by, and worth far more...

@CameltoeParkerBowles thank you. Yeah, a 'bubbly' requirement for a job that was often performed by men. Wouldn't happen, would it.

I used to do reception and really loved it. I'm naturally quite 'smiley' and approachable but I doubt I'd have seemed fully confident on my first shift! The main qualities needed are being calm, welcoming and efficient.

I always used to joke the only qualification you should need to work in a dental office is really good teeth 🤣

Back in the day (mid 70's,age 22, I wasn't fired ) I was told that I was too positive and happy and that by being so I was being insensitive to other people in the team who were possibly not as happy. I thought ffs then and I still do!
I hope you soon find a job that appreciates you. x

Bubby receptionists get to know patients, they encourage brand loyalty, and they can even become the face of a private dental surgery especially when locum dentists are used. It’s not a bad thing they want one. What’s bad here is that you pretended to be bubbly to get the job and ended up wasting everyone’s time. Always be yourself at interview.

She didn't pretend anything. She was not told at interview that she would be expected to sign a 'voluntary' agreement. When she was later asked to sign this 'voluntary' agreement, she refused and I'm sure this is why she was sacked. But it was never brought up at interview; so, if anyone engaged in false pretences resulting in a waste of everyone's time, it was the interviewers.

What does a receptionist actually do other than being eye candy?

At my dental surgery they deal with all payments, which includes sorting out the paperwork for NHS check ups, and they used to maintain the paper records. Nowadays it all seems to be electronic so they need to know how to assist patients with using those. They make appointments and advise on alternative sources of help if they can't fit someone in. A responsible and busy job.

What a disgusting question?

You could consider suing them for sex discrimination- would they expect a man to be “bubbly” (whatever that means!)?

Surely during the first three months they can let you go for any reason? It's a probationary period, isn't it? So you haven't strictly been fired , they just didn't find you suitable for the job. And as for suing them? What, after three weeks of employment? Save your energy for better things. OP, it's a blow but it's part of the University of Life .

👌Exactly!

@ovahere I feel so sorry for your son, but put it down to it being the wrong type of pub- it was probably one of these "trendy" places that sell "craft" beer and attracts a young "party" crowd, like some of the ones near me. As someone who has been to plenty of award winning, actual craft beer pubs, most of the ones I've been to would be delighted to have your son as a staff member- that's exactly what theyre looking for, someone who's knowledgeable. The staff were also friendly, knew their stuff and dare i say it a bit quirky (but so am I!), an attracted a friendly and respectable crowd. I cant stand "bubbly" people either and my worst nightmare is working in an office or pub full of gabbing, singing, selfie-ing people.
Good luck to your son- he'll blossom once he finds the right place ❤️

Absolutely. Whoever described a man as "bubbly"? No-one, ever.

Thank you, that's a very kind reply.

This applies for the first two years legally, though some companies may have internal policies around the probation period. Having said that, you can’t be fired for protected characteristics from day 1, hence the suggestions to investigate sex discrimination.

I’d take them to an employment tribunal for wrongful dismissal eg breach of contract. Probationary periods are irrelevant. Every employer should follow the acas code of practise for dismissal. This isn’t the US they can’t just ‘fire’ you. They must follow a fair and reasonable process. I’d ask them for a copy of the disciplinary procedure, grievance procedure and appeals process.
Call ACAS on Monday, and visit a citizens advice bureaux, they’ll think twice about treating people like this again.

They are at fault but don't get bogged down in this. Move on, get a new job, have a great life.

Get a job where they appreciate the lovely person you are, and don't demand something of you that is not 'you'. You deserve to be in a place of work where you are accepted and feel comfortable, and clearly this place has a weird judgemental vibe and you'd have been miserable there. Geesh. You're best off out of it.