Fired due to my personality

[Underyourthumb]

I started a new job 3 weeks ago and I thought all was going well until I got called into a meeting yesterday at 3pm. They told me that while I am pleasant and polite, I’m not very bubbly. This is a receptionist position in a dentist. One of the things that they said was “the girl we saw at the interview… we haven’t seen her since” l was trying not to get upset by this remark because I had no idea they felt this way and I thought all this time I WAS acting the same. I mean of course I’m going to be over the top and chatty and putting my best self out there at the interview because I’m trying to sell myself. But I am ALWAYS so happy and smiley and upbeat when patients come in. I have worked in customer service/hospitality and reception jobs for years and have always received such positive feedback regarding my demeanour and pleasantness so I am just so confused. They are saying they were hoping I would be more out there and bubbly and have a laugh with the patients. But I do try to do this with the ones who actually seem like they want to chat. Most of them don’t want to chat to the receptionist at the dentist… they just want to be checked in and take a seat. I’ve never been to a doctors or dentists where the reception team are the life and soul of the party and have chats with the patients.They have other things to be doing. I may ask them how their day is or if I’ve built a rapport with them already I might say “oh how’s your back now, are you feeling better since last time?” Etc.. I’m not miserable or anti social. But they want MORE. I am so so upset because it feels like such a personal attack on my personality rather than me not being good at the job. They don’t like me because of me and im trying not to let it hurt my feelings but it’s making me now second guess how I act. I’m definitely not bubbly and loud and outgoing, which it’s obviously what they’re after. But I can do the job well, and I am personable and friendly and professional and this is just a massive slap in the face. To lose my job over my personality is devastating!

Has anyone experienced this? How can I pick myself up? I feel like absolute shit about myself.

Who the hell wants a "bubbly" dentist receptionist anyway?
Someone calm and reassuring would be much better!

The dental nurses never utter a word at the practice I go to.

One male and one female, a married couple. The practice manager is female. There’s only one male member of staff who works there

I am sorry they said that to you, but to be honest I would hate to be described as 'bubbly'. It's a disgraceful word to use in relation to a job. You will get something that fits you better. Sod them, they sound like a right bunch of idiots that I wouldn't let near my teeth.

I am terrified of the dentist and have to do a lot of work to even get myself there.

A "bubbly" receptionist would be absolutely the last straw

@Underyourthumb talk to ACAS. Make notes so you don't forget anything. They're in the wrong sexualising you.

How odd! I'm also a Receptionist. I'm chatty/friendly etc, but as you say, you have to read the room. Some people clearly aren't up for a chat - others, I can tell straight away want a laugh and a joke. Nobody can be 'on' all the time. As a Receptionist the job is generally to engage, be friendly, make people feel welcome, but these people sound like they want you to be a one woman circus act! I've worked on customer facing roles for years, but have never come across a job where they want me to be the life and soul. Of course you'll take it as a personal attack, but from what you're saying their requirements are far from the norm. I definitely wouldn't be able to keep up the ridiculous bubbly facade constantly. I'd come across as a complete annoying tw#t 😂 The issue lies with them and not you 💯, I definitely couldn't work like that and I've been in customer facing roles for 30 years!

This is how I feel too. It’s as if I had to perform and kind of put on a show. But I was already being kind and welcoming and happy and smiley so I wasn’t really sure what else they would’ve wanted. One of the dental nurses there sometimes covered reception and in my opinion the way she acted with the patients was patronising. Very fake and put on like a children’s presenter. I just can’t be like that, but to be let go over it seems so ruthless. I’ve been to places where the receptionists are utterly rude and unhelpful yet they still have their jobs, and I wouldn’t dream of acting like that so this seems unfair when I haven’t actually done anything wrong

I wouldn't be surprised if someone they know already has suddenly become available for the post.

It sounds like a poor fit, personality wise. However, I'm responsible for HR at my company and I would have given you the chance to gain your confidence, develop your training etc to see if you 'bloomed' into the role. I would not have let you go after 3 weeks, that's unfair but not illegal during a probation period unless it was blatant discrimination. A lot of PPs have said a similar thing happened to them, I went through the same thing too when I was younger and I look back with relief that I didn't stay long enough in an environment where I felt I had to 'perform' every day. It would have worn you down. I know it feels crap and like an attack on your personality but you have had a lucky escape. You will find the right role soon and one where you are appreciated and valued. You sound like a lovely, articulate person. Good luck and keep your chin up.

Arseholes.

I’m absolutely dental phobic. I don’t need a ‘bubbly’ vacuous receptionist. I need a calm, reassuring, mature adult!

They referred to you as a girl and said you weren't 'bubbly'?

JFC. They're on thin fucking ice there.

The problem with dentists is they find it really hard I think to make money- people not coming in for checkups etc. So I can see why sadly they might be looking for this - sign of the times.

But honestly OP don't take it personally, you sound great. Their loss. Just be you.

I find that I'm usually more sociable and bubbly depending where I am in my cycle. It'd be a fucking drain to be sociable and bubbly just before I am due or when I'm on.

This seems so unfair, because even if there was an issue, most employers would have a chat with you and give you the chance to make changes. To just sack you is brutal and highly unprofessional. To me, it sounds like an excuse. Another member of staff has a friend that wants the job potentially. From what you're saying and how you come over I'd employ you or work with you on a Reception in a heartbeat. Smiling/welcoming/light conversation etc, is pretty standard on Reception- but bubbly/in your face fakeness is just downright annoying! Chalk it down to experience and don't doubt yourself. Honestly, these people sound awful to work for. You've dodged a bullet imo. 💐

And when Barbara Windsor got ambushed on one of those hidden camera shows that were so popular in the 80s / 90s, it turned out she wasn’t like this when she thought the cameras were off (still lovely and polite to what she thought were junior members of staff but not so over the top giggles and innuendo as her public persona).

I’d hire you. You sound great.

Believe me you are well rid of them. Have had a lot of dealings with dental practices like yours and there is a very sour side to them too.

they are very focused on doing TikTok’s and being quite “trendy”

They don't sound professional at all.

Be thankful you're out of there OP.

They don’t find it hard to make money.

However Nhs dentistry isn’t as it once was - harder to work in, harder for patients to get good treatment - so many dentists are going private because the stress of Nhs dentistry is just not worth it. Once you go private it’s seen as an easy way to bump up the revenue if you peddle the cosmetic/aesthetic side of the business.

@Suddenfeelingofsadness This was exactly what I thought. I work adjacent to a field which 20 years ago had a bad habit of hiring unqualified but very attractive young women to attract male customers while other people did the skilled work.

There was a (very qualified, very competent) young woman in my firm who did if anything more of the skilled work than her colleagues who had real issues with people assuming she’d been hired for the same reason,

I think you dodged a bullet there but understand why you're upset.

They wanted a "bubbly girl" for reception 🤯

Hire a 16yo girl with a massively outgoing personality then.

Not a professional receptionist.

And personally I'd hate to attend a dentures and have the receptionist try and engage me beyond "have to completed your forms and it's £x today - how would you like to pay?"

Screw them.

I can't think of anything worse than a bubbly dental receptionist. I'd consider it a bullet dodged as they haven't gone about this the right way - not very professional of them.

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's really confidence knocking.

It wouldn't surprise me if they simply used this as a reason to get rid of you, as they don't want to disclose the real reason. Was this a new role? Some companies hire and then realise they've made a mistake by hiring someone for a certain amount of hours. Rather than admit that, they'll just find an excuse to sack the person. It could be that it's a very small minded, cliquey place as well where unbeknownst to you, you've rubbed someone up the wrong way. Young women are particularly vulnerable to this nonsense.

Other than that, they could be clueless when it comes to this sort of thing, and don't realise what a good employee actually is. They will learn the hard way that people aren't as disposable or replaceable as they think they are.

Are most people very uptight when they get to the dentist. Going to the dentist has been described as the most difficult medical appointment people make. The last thing most people want is somebody bubbly!

I'm not sure what to say to you. But I think you should be glad not to work there.

I would't be surprised if they already had some one else already in line, ceo sisters daughter etc, and as they couldn't find a good reason to fire you so they come up with the shittiest excuse ever.

you dodged the bullet there, shame that they wasted your time