I really hate my life. It is honestly the most pathetic existence.

[ihatemylife8]

I'm 30. I have no friends. No partner and never had a partner. I've never so much as hugged a man let alone anything more. My job stresses me out and I seem to burn out in jobs every 6 months or so and then leave. I constantly have hives because I'm stressed, and I don't even know why I'm stressed half the time. I live with my parents still and can't afford to rent even a studio. My Mum is literally my only friend. On weekends where she is busy with her own life I just sit at home as I have no one else to do things with.

I really don't know why it's all gone wrong. I was 'normal' as a child and teen but have had a complete failure to launch. I have tried therapy and CBT and they were a waste of time and made me feel worse.

You need to find a hobby. I am part of a walking group, we meet 3 times a week and do lots of social activities aswell as walking. We have many ladies who live alone, it’s great company for them, and keeps them active. There are so many groups out there for all kinds of things, you’ve got to try and push yourself a little though or nothing will change.

Could I recommend a book? How to do everything and be happy by Peter Jones. Changed my life.

I also think you should do a couple of online tests for autism/adhd. Currently about 25% of my guides are ND, so agree with the guide/scout suggestion above.

It does sound miserable OP, but only you are responsible for changing it. Stop sitting at home all weekend and get out!

Some excellent suggestions on this thread, especially attending your local church as you will definitely make friends.

I went through a stage with some similarities to this OP. If I could go back and give myself advice it would be to find things that you can still enjoy alone. Like going to the cinema or an exhibition alone or a self directed hobby, maybe even learn a new skill. You can't always solve loneliness but you can make better use of your time.

Have you attempted to 'launch'? Have you dated? Joined clubs, apps or activities to meet friends?

You can change and improve your situation you really can!

Firstly, which line of work do you work in? I’ve worked in publishing and the charity sector and they are really sociable sectors. Are you in a job where everyone turns up, does their job and goes home? Every charity I’ve ever worked in has a culture of pub lunches, after work drinks, social events. Do you have a local theatre? Do they need volunteers? Also a great way to fill your evenings and meet new people.

Don’t worry about living at home at 30 it really isn’t uncommon.

Try to broaden your social activities that don’t include your mum. Are there any sports you enjoy? Do you have local groups you could join?

There's always time to make new friends. Most of my friends and I only have 3 close, have been made in adult life. BUT.. you need to make effort. It rarely just happens. Ask someone you feel a connection with if they fancy lunch/walk/film etc. Olive branches are key. If you're open, honest and most of all approachable, the rest will follow. 💐

Good luck OP 💐

Had you any friends when in school, neighbours or cousins that you were with? Where are they?

What is your mother like?

I could have written most of this in my late twenties @ihatemylife8 . By the time I hit 30 I was wondering what I was going to do with my life. But I met my now wife when I was 32. Now happily married for nearly 18 years. Life can change in a moment. Things gradually fell into place. I read a lot of books about how to change your life and so on - and gradually things did change. I wish you all the best. You are still so young and have many experiences ahead of you 💐

I'd explore whether there is some sort of neurodiversity at play. I was exactly like you as a young adult; latterly diagnosed w/ADHD and autism. The work burnout thing especially was so hard to bear, I was trying my best but somehow always failing.

What are your skills OP? And what kind of things interest you as a hobby? I have an allotment now, and build Lego sets as an adult, and generally "own" the person I am rather than feeling embarrassed to be different.

I used to think making friends was hard until I bit the bullet and put myself out there. I joined two hobby groups and online dating, neither of which have resulted in a partner, but both of which have landed me some friends. Maybe I was lucky. OP what are your interests? One of mine is reading and I joined a reading circle. It's such a good way to make friends as it all centres round discussion which is quite intimate but also very relaxed. Where in the UK do you live?

If you're not on anything already, seriously, anti anxiety meds like sertraline are life changing. What do you have to lose? X

Our society can be very isolating and unnatural, don't blame yourself so much because you find it hard to cope with.

It sounds as if they fundamental issue here is your work- not enjoying it and leaving quickly, going from job to job, not earning enough to rent a place of your own, and on a negative cycle of lack of enjoyment with work.

What happened with your education?
Do you have qualifications - A levels, a degree, other training?

What work do you do?

As most posters have said, work is often the foundation for making friends, and at least a source of fulfillment.

Have you tried the meet up app? It has all different activities to try for getting out and about and meeting new people in your area. You could set yourself the target of doing one every weekend?

well, a medical record of using antidepressants for a start that can hinder job applications - and also not addressing the real issues.

Meds are a sticking plaster, not a solution.

Lots of good suggestions here for you, I would say try to think what interests you and then find a group / society /evening class that dies that activity. I know it's hard to get out there and try, but truly there will be others just like you. Maybe a bit shy, a bit lacking in confidence, but keen to meet other people.
If you do have autism or adhd there are clubs in some towns where you can meet others and be sociable.
Take it slowly, it might be some time before you find the right place but keep on, keeping on.

Have you tried to join anything like a class or a group?
Yoga, pilates, drama, a choir, running, a book club - any kind of sport?

You can't expect life to come to you- you have to get out there and do something yourself, even if it's hard and you feel anxious- which is completely normal.

Hello. I understand completely. I was exactly the same until I met my OH. I still struggle with social things and do not have real friends. My mum recently died and I feel lost.

Hopefully you might get some ideas from this thread and seek out activities that you enjoy and where you can meet other people.

Don't lose hope. You're still young and you can absolutely turn things round. I'd start with small steps - join a class (could be anything, a language, cookery, jewellery making, exercise class, bookclub etc). You may make friends but you may not. The important thing is to get used to being out of the house and meeting other people. You need to slowly expand your life so it's not just you and your parents, sitting in this house. I think once you start to do this you'll gradually grow in confidence.

It was my local Methodist church that I went along to and found instantly welcoming. A service with warmth and humour, bit of singing and then tea and biscuits afterwards so you can have a chat. Once a month they do a bring and share lunch afterwards. Honestly they were the most friendly, welcoming bunch of people I've ever met. Despite me not being a believer, they were happy to offer me a sense of community and connection.

I only went along as it was close to my house and I knew nobody but I'm so glad I did.

My thoughts too.

Lots of great suggestions. I'd look for a beginner's running club (assuming you don't already run regularly). There is one near me with literally 100s of members and loads of social activities. Great for building confidence and meeting people.

Also when you are home alone, try to stay off your phone. If you have any mental health or attention problems it really really makes it worse, honestly (easier said than done, I know).