Son heard us having sex

[blessedsatellite]

He's 11 and was really upset.

He came home from school and was quiet and seemed a bit down so I asked him what was wrong and he eventually told me he's heard us having sex the past few weekends and then started crying.

He didn't say sex explicitly but I knew where it was going when he explained when/where/what.

Before anyone says its natural and normal etc etc, that's all very well but it's bloody horrible hearing your parents have sex. I still feel gross when I remember hearing my parents.

I've read similar posts on here and I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for from this. Maybe some sympathy!

I didn't confirm nor deny anything, I said I'd speak to his dad and thanked him very much for telling me and gave him a big hug. I don't know what I should have said! Bloody nora.

If he's anything like me this will have scarred him for life 🙈 I'm only half-joking.

I genuinely don’t understand why you’d even be comfortable having sex knowing he was in the next room etc. I have a 2 year old and we still don’t make huge amounts of sound if any or let the bed make it either. It’s obviously a careless mistake that you need to be more mindful of. I’ve only ever heard my own mum once I think but when I was around your son’s age I had a friend who had a mum who’d be screaming in bed and my friend used to have to shout or give us headphones it was horrid.

I agree with the person saying this thread is so British. A lot of very prudish and downright repressed comments. The OP sounds concerned about her child and embarrassed she was overheard so enough with the shaming!!! And as for the person commenting on “all that awful noise” - maybe your needs aren’t being adequately met.

Agree with the people who say just say it won’t happen again and be a bit more careful. Maybe put some music on next time. Not Marvin Gaye or anything like that though.

You don’t understand how anyone would be comfortable having sex with their child in the next room? Your two year old is not doing to be traumatised by a creaking bed. Does your partner feel the same way?

Good luck ever having sex again, is all I’ll say.

I don't think it's prudish to not want your child to hear you having sex. I think it's what any decent parent would do.

Are you for real?!!

Yeah it's not on really and I would apologise

The OP should be ashamed.

What? It's bloody disgusting to subject your children to your sex noises. If that makes me a prude I can live with that.

I agree.

The comments on this thread are enough to make me never want to have sex ever again whilst my dc are in the house! 😳

So you were traumatised by hearing your parents having sex but it never occurred to you that your son might hear you and feel the same way?

He's at the age when he's hitting puberty so it's utterly scary and gross for him.

Say you're really sorry that he heard it and he shouldn't have heard it, not because it's wrong but it should be kept private and you'll make sure he doesn't, but if he ever does hear it again please either tell one of you or read a note. And reassure him it's normal that he didn't like hearing it, you wouldn't want to hear anyone else doing it either.

A large percentage of the world’s parents have sex with a child in the next room. We don’t all live in huge stately homes where the children live in the next wing.

Pretty crazy that people here are insinuating that if you make sure your children can’t hear you have sex, then you must have a boring and unfulfilling sex life.

It’s not rocket science, if the original poster and her partner where trying to be quiet but were still somehow overheard then they aren’t to be blamed and just need to be more careful next time.

On the other hand if they didn’t think of their child and had loud sex just because they assumed their child was asleep then I think that’s rather thoughtless and inappropriate. Yes, sex is natural but hearing your parents be loud can absolutely be traumatic.

Mine too. It's only as an adult I have realised how much this has affected my ability to fall asleep easily at night time!

The past FEW weekends?! Jesus. Just keep it down! That's really awful!

Btw as a teacher if I knew this was happening (a child hearing this several weekends in a row) i would make a safeguarding referral. Not OK at all .

I know you feel bad about it OP so I'm not trying to make you feel worse but the posters making light of it and saying it's prudish to care are very weird, and well, wrong.

I wouldn't be making a big thing of it as if it's something bad and shameful. I would explain that absolutely it's not nice when you're young to hear you're parents having sex and tell him that hopefully he won't hear it again.
Would it help if his dad had a chat?
Try not to stress over it and put it behind you. You're not the first its happened to and won't be the last

They are wrong. It's not funny or cool for an 11 year old to hear their parents having sex.

Agree, I mean fuck sake, everyone can have sex quietly. Wtaf am I reading, who has sex so loudly with their kid close by,

This 100%

This. Just keep it down .And while yes it's gross hearing your parents crying over it seems a bit much.