Son heard us having sex

[blessedsatellite]

He's 11 and was really upset.

He came home from school and was quiet and seemed a bit down so I asked him what was wrong and he eventually told me he's heard us having sex the past few weekends and then started crying.

He didn't say sex explicitly but I knew where it was going when he explained when/where/what.

Before anyone says its natural and normal etc etc, that's all very well but it's bloody horrible hearing your parents have sex. I still feel gross when I remember hearing my parents.

I've read similar posts on here and I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for from this. Maybe some sympathy!

I didn't confirm nor deny anything, I said I'd speak to his dad and thanked him very much for telling me and gave him a big hug. I don't know what I should have said! Bloody nora.

If he's anything like me this will have scarred him for life 🙈 I'm only half-joking.

Give over... nothing about ops posts suggests neglect.

Guess it depends what you mean by noise.

It's quite normal for many people to make some noise. Complete silence would be freaking creepy imo

Thought it would be obvious that I meant excessive noise to be honest!

Grab a pillow 😂 if you're into a bit of breathe play it adds to it 😉 he will be okay have another chat with him when things settle and reassure him

You'll just have to remain celebate until he leaves home in seven years. Nothing else for it🤭

Seriously though, keep it down at nights. Kids are aware. Gets worse as they stay up really late as teens. Be very quiet!!

Why apologise?? It's normal to have quiet sex in your own home while you think your kids are sleeping.

What a drama being made out of it. Apologising for your kids for doing normal adult things 🙄

I'd be extremely concerned if this were the case at 11. But I did wonder about he knew what the noises were. I think at 11 they have a very basic concept of sex that is mainly just scientific. I don't think many children this age have the "streetwise" knowledge about the pleasure aspect unless they've been exposed to it in an inappropriate way, so you may have a point.

Apologising to your child for being thoughtless and upsetting them isn’t a bad thing.

Yes it’s normal for adults to have sex. It’s not normal to not give a shit that your child hears you having sex.

This is the most British thread I've ever read. The responses are ridiculous. OP don't worry about it. By all means try to keep the noise down in future but bear in mind a lot of kids are hearing far worse noises (domestic violence).

Can you just make sure there is a time? Assuming they're at secondary, encourage them to book social plans at the same time or weekend sports or whatever? Staying over with other family/grandparents?

Unless you have a squeaky bed - why the noise? Unnecessary.

Depends on if we're hearing the full story. A mildly creaky bed is not really a problem. Moaning and screaming in earshot of a young child and it's happened a few times could ( I'm not saying it is in this case as don't know the full details) could be akin to abuse. I can't think of a bigger turn off than any of my children hearing me in bed and I am quite a sexually open person. I make a point to keep the noise down if my children are around, even if asleep.

Ffs no it is not. Op as another poster said it's really good he felt he could speak to you about it! You must have a good relationship for him to do that. Don't torture yourself just make sure it doesn't happen again 😆

The OP very obviously gives a shit think @DontBiteTheCat so your comment is just being needlessly goady.

I am well aware that the OP gives a shit, she’s clearly mortified and handled it well.

My comment was aimed at you acting like it was no big deal and not giving a shit that a child was upset by hearing his parents having sex.

@Havingasmashingtime fucks sake they're not having sex in front of their child now that would be fucked up!!
Op you've done all you can, you're aware he's aware, that's all that needed saying ! Well done on your ds for opening up.
My brother walked in on my mom and dad when he was a teenager, couldn't get my dads bare arse out of his head for years 🤣🤣🤣

I used to hear my parents constantly when I was growing up, so much that I used to have to make them promise not to do it when my friends were sleeping over. I was 12.

This is a good approach

I'm sure you feel terrible OP. But you won't be the first or last. Good he told you so now you know and can take necessary measures

Well I don't think it is a huge deal really; they weren't intentionally doing anything wrong, which makes it an innocent mistake 🤷‍♀️The End.

All this crap about apologising and abuse is just over the top MN nonsense.

It’s what parents do, that’s how they became parents. Just explain to him he did not arrive in this world by stork.

I walked in on my parents at that age as I thought my Dad was terribly ill and moaning in pain! Could have been worse!

I agree with the pp who said just apologise and make sure it doesn't happen again.

At 11?????

A bit grim for the poor boy, but all you can do is apologise and say it won't happen again. And make sure it doesn't.

I remember being grossed out by noticing that some mornings, despite going to bed in a nightie, my mother would clearly not have the nightie on in the morning. She'd be all coy pulling the covers up under her arms. Gross.