Sad our church turned its back on dd

[TeenLifeMum]

Dd has been to church all her life. At one point we moved to a different church that suited us more but we made lovely friends etc and dd was attending youth group until she was 15. Suddenly she was less keen but focusing on GCSEs so we didn’t push it. With clubs etc for the other dc, regular attendance dropped a bit but we were fairly relaxed.

I believe in god but have always had issues with “the church”, but put that aside to be with people of faith.

I recently learned why dd stopped going to youth - they did a full session on how they should pray for gay people in the hope of healing them. How they are so angry about people loving each other is beyond me.

dd is gay. Her girlfriend is loving, kind, polite, and caring. I want all my dc to have loving healthy relationships so have no issue and naively thought others wouldn’t care. Turns out they do. Two of her closest friends stepped away due to her being gay (parents we’d met through church) and now she understandably doesn’t want to go to church, and neither do I.

I’m angry. I hope they’re really proud of themselves from their high horses. On the off chance they’re on here - no, you’re not good Christians.

Thanks for humouring my rant.

That’s so sad and a reason why church attendance is declining in developed countries imho.

Hugs to everyone who falls foul of this kind of bullshit

Oh how awful. I thought the church was more progressive now.

That's absolutely disgusting. I'm so sorry.
Pretty sure that Christ would not behave the way they're behaving.

What religion is this? Jehovah? Latter Day Saints? No branch of the Christian faith would preach such things, surely.

I know of similar. Particularly in more evangelical churches. You’re likely to get a better reception in standard C of E.

Yes, this is Church of England doctrine. I've argued with vicars that there's no justification for it in the gospels, but I think you can dredge it out of Paul's letters - along with all the misogynistic crap. I'd argue that it's directly counter to Christ's instruction to "Love your neighbour as yourself". I'm an atheist.

I have relatives whose (evangelical Christian) church prays for gay people to be 'cured' so I doubt this is a troll.

Having said that, I'd have thought you'd already have realised if this is your church's message, OP?

Many of us have experience of churches who have done this, I’m unsure why you’re suggesting OP is a troll? It’s not a massively outlandish claim she’s making.

Sounds all too plausible to me, I'm afraid.

This is on you OP. If you are going to take your children to church, you need to investigate that church’s belief system before exposing your children.

Ive got a branch of my family that takes their children to a church like that. They also attend the associated school where students pray and are told gay people are going to hell. My young relative told me she doesn’t agree and that her gay friends try to laugh it off as a joke. I can’t believe the parents subject their children to this nonsense. It’s absolutely horrifying, but there are no shortage of bigoted Christian churches.

Can't you find a different, more tolerant church? There are a lot of branches of Christianity and some of them are far more tolerant than others

My friend's (mainstream) church does this too - crazy as it seems, there's still a lot of homophobia out there.

Of course you're right to stop going to the church. I'm sorry but saying "I want all my dc to have loving healthy relationships so have no issue and naively thought others wouldn’t care." is not just naive but bordering on ignorant. If you want to be a good ally and a good support to your DD I suggest you educate yourself on homophobia and understand that it is still hugely present in many sectors of society, even ones that aren't famous for being homophobic like the church is.

If C of E, look at the Inclusive Church network https://www.inclusive-church.org/ and see if there is one near you. My church is a member of this, absolutely no praying to 'heal' homosexuality here.

Christian? My last church had a lesbian clergy woman in charge, so there are other churches you can join. There is a wide spectrum of belief in the church - it’s an open community after all. Possibly worth asking the church leadership what their stance is - they may not approve or know what’s being taught.

I encountered some evangelical dogmatism in church youth groups and ultimately I quit going to church (I remember them gently telling me off for humming “Always look on the bright side of life”, because it is from blasphemous film and I knew then I wasn’t going to be sticking around.)

I think the opportunity to influence young minds may attract the more extreme ends of the religious spectrum!

Doesn't surprise me in the slightest. The biggest bigots stand in pulpits across the land.

The church doesn’t deserve your DD. Absolutely devastating. As others have said, there are plenty of progressive churches that are LGBT inclusive. I’m so sorry that was her experience.

There is no hate like Christian love.
If attending a Church is still so important to you and your family OP then there is probably one in your area thats a bit more accepting

Not all CofE churches are like this. Plenty of gay vicars around.

Roman Catholic church doctrine loves the person but sees homosexuality as a sin. As far as I know, this hasn't changed recently.