Sad our church turned its back on dd

[TeenLifeMum]

Dd has been to church all her life. At one point we moved to a different church that suited us more but we made lovely friends etc and dd was attending youth group until she was 15. Suddenly she was less keen but focusing on GCSEs so we didn’t push it. With clubs etc for the other dc, regular attendance dropped a bit but we were fairly relaxed.

I believe in god but have always had issues with “the church”, but put that aside to be with people of faith.

I recently learned why dd stopped going to youth - they did a full session on how they should pray for gay people in the hope of healing them. How they are so angry about people loving each other is beyond me.

dd is gay. Her girlfriend is loving, kind, polite, and caring. I want all my dc to have loving healthy relationships so have no issue and naively thought others wouldn’t care. Turns out they do. Two of her closest friends stepped away due to her being gay (parents we’d met through church) and now she understandably doesn’t want to go to church, and neither do I.

I’m angry. I hope they’re really proud of themselves from their high horses. On the off chance they’re on here - no, you’re not good Christians.

Thanks for humouring my rant.

Same crisps, different flavour.

Have you tried seeking out a church which is LGBT+ friendly? They do exist.

Did you miss the Archbishop of Canterbury reiterating just a few years ago that as far as he was concerned, homosexual people are still lesser and not worthy of equality?

He chose his Christmas Sermon to emphasise the point, and it was all over mainstream news. This is the big boss of your church, so I'm struggling to comprehend how you could have missed this.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/justin-welby-gay-marriage-church-england-b2447903.html

I believe you OP.

There’s a sign outside my local church saying that they accept everyone including those shunned elsewhere and amongst the list of people are gay people. If it never happens then they wouldn’t have to make that list.

when they did baking and the vicar’s son announced the girls should wash up because they belong in the kitchen.

A likely story.

Hmm yeeees, but "praying for gays to be cured" I have never encountered that in Mass or in other teachings or ceremonies. It sounds a bit evangelical to me.

It’s very sad
and what’s almost worse is that those people would probably swear blind they are not homophobic. That they are “hating the sin but loving the sinner” etc etc.
Perhaps we’ll even get a couple coming along here
and they’ll say you can’t pick and choose the bible just because society changes…. Yet pick and choose bits is exactly what they do!!

I’m so proud of my last CoE church (before I moved away from UK). Our vicar was gay, married with children. Another member of the clergy was a lesbian. We were a wonderfully liberal, but on appearances, high church, with an older congregation. Appearances can be surprising.

That is awful. Being gay is not an illness for goodness sake!

There are many churches that are inclusive, op, including mainstream. Shop around.

What an odd thing not to believe. We’d been in the church for 11 months and the focus to that point had been on things like CAP, which I think is fantastic, and the outreach work with the homeless.

Earlier posts got deleted for troll hunting. Please stop creating your own narrative that doesn’t reflect the thread.

Yes I was raised Catholic. I knew from. Young age that our church didn’t mind gay people in the congregation as long as they were celibate. I knew that particular church and priests view on it.

It’s not difficult to understand a churches stance on these things if you spend time with them. Which op has apparently.

I know that when got to my teens the view started changing.

It’s not difficult to get a sense of a churches view. You don’t need to discuss someone’s sexuality.

And besides which if you are going to let your teen attend a youth group, surely you should know what are the values of the people running the youth group.

Anyone who allows a religion to have such an influence on their children, or take care of their children should be looking at the values of the church they are attending.

I don’t doubt it was a “joke”. Who doesn’t find everyday sexism hilarious 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

This is not right. The anti-gay stuff is all old testament. In the new testament Jesus says that the only commandment is "love your neighbour as your love yourself" and he says that that new commandment supercedes all previous commandments. So Jesus was okay with gay people.

If he wasn't, he would have said "love your neighbour as you love yourself, except if they are gay, in which case all bets are off." and he definitely didn't say that.

Unfortunately OP it's a very difficult situation. In Christianity, homosexuality is seen as a 'sin' so of course its going to be frowned upon. I think its very very cruel but unfortunately it is written in the bible so thats what is taught

I think you should stop going to church and eschew Christianity if you dont agree with these messages

You're as bad as the church!

People are completely entitled to hold their own beliefs, and the Christian church is no different. There are many religious beliefs that are appalling, across all religions.
As a devout atheist, I’m not at all surprised that someone whose beliefs clash with others of the same faith ends up being ostracised.

@topchef1 dd had told a couple of friends. The session wasn’t aimed at her (that I know of). Youth usually did fun games with a bit of bible reading. Wasn’t usually that deep.

This is so disappointing to hear, your poor DD having to sit through that 'lesson'. Well done you for standing by her and being supportive. My close friend had this, they were mormon and her DD loved her faith but had to leave after she came out.

Will you find another church?

Jesus says that the only commandment is "love your neighbour as your love yourself" and he says that that new commandment supercedes all previous commandments.

That isn't what Jesus said @ItWasQuiteNice. He said that the Law (of Moses) can be summed up by these two commandments (which are the greatest).

When Jesus prevented the stoning of a woman caught in adultery he told her to "Go and sin no more", not "I'm cool with what they wanted to stone you for, carry on loving the other guy".