Sad our church turned its back on dd

[TeenLifeMum]

Dd has been to church all her life. At one point we moved to a different church that suited us more but we made lovely friends etc and dd was attending youth group until she was 15. Suddenly she was less keen but focusing on GCSEs so we didn’t push it. With clubs etc for the other dc, regular attendance dropped a bit but we were fairly relaxed.

I believe in god but have always had issues with “the church”, but put that aside to be with people of faith.

I recently learned why dd stopped going to youth - they did a full session on how they should pray for gay people in the hope of healing them. How they are so angry about people loving each other is beyond me.

dd is gay. Her girlfriend is loving, kind, polite, and caring. I want all my dc to have loving healthy relationships so have no issue and naively thought others wouldn’t care. Turns out they do. Two of her closest friends stepped away due to her being gay (parents we’d met through church) and now she understandably doesn’t want to go to church, and neither do I.

I’m angry. I hope they’re really proud of themselves from their high horses. On the off chance they’re on here - no, you’re not good Christians.

Thanks for humouring my rant.

I have no doubt that this occurred.

I went to a CoE church for a time that, it turned out, was very misogynistic. (And fyi they don’t put this stuff- misogyny, homophobia- on the website, or tell you as you walk through the front door- it just comes out after a while in a sermon, or in a comment made).

Vicar’s wife gave a loud public dressing down to another woman in the post service coffee when she mentioned she was returning to work after mat leave.

I don't think there's any evidence that Christ had an issue with gay people.
I also don't think it's that extraordinary to think that the church might be more welcoming - there are loads of gay vicars around, so it's a bit the luck of the draw. One of the things I absolutely love Desmond Tutu for is his claim that, if he arrives in heaven to find a homophobic God, he'll be asking to go to the other place straightaway. V sorry it didn't work out for you this time round, OP.

I’m hazarding a guess here, that Jesus didnt have the faintest idea about gay people 😂

I'm sorry to hear that.

My own (controversial) view is that no child should be indoctrinated into any religion. They can then search out religion at 18, if interested.

Only in some (and increasingly a minority of) churches is homosexuality viewed in this way.

It's a hard one. I was a Christian for the first 40 years of my life, now no longer believe.

But even mainstream Christian churches tend to believe marriage is only between a man and a woman and any romantic/sex rship outside of that is a sin, whether gay or hetero.

It seems unfair to ask the Church to keep changing its stance on things (sex, abortion, euthanasia) as society progresses. At the end of the day, what's in the Bible doesn't change.

I don't agree with them on many ethical matters but at the end of the day, it's THEIR club and I sort of admire them for sticking by what they believe, whether it's popular or not.

Also it's "hate the sin*, love the sinner", no one should EVER be turned away from a church.

*it's a sin in their eyes, not mine

Massive church, big congregation that we’d attended about 11 months and were still getting to know people. They encouraged homeless to attend and had seemed welcoming. They didn’t talk about sexuality. I know the history of the cofe but my church in Kent was very welcoming so that’s what I knew of c of e previously.

In Catholicism, the largest Christian denomination, it's a mortal sin.

My view was to educate them in religion and then they could make a decision based on knowledge. None of them go to church as adults, but a lot of that had to do with the previous vicar who was a prick.

Wait, do you seriously think gay people is a new invention?

People were openly gay in the ancient world. I think Jesus knew.

Actually no, the Bible isn't clearly against gay relationships.

Neither the 10 Commandments or any of Jesus' teachings mentions it. You'd think they'd take care to do so if it was so important.

The anti-gay stuff comes from the million-and-one petty rules that the Israelite leaders chose to add to the Commandments (they also tell us not to wear clothing of mixed threads and have all sorts of rules that are no longer relevant) and from Paul, who was a Grade A misogynist to boot and insisted we women should all wear head coverings.

I attend a High CofE Church. We have a gay rector whose husband is warmly welcomed. There are gay and lesbian vicars, even a trans vicar, in the Church of England.

Thanks @ElleWoods15 - that describes it well.

You knew this would be the case, dear poster, because takes few minutes to google this topic and what the Bible says about it. Why did you expect church goers to understand the gay lifestyle? Could it be easier to meet friends from inclusive after school club through Mermaids, etc?

Prove it. Except you cant. No one can because everything that is said about Jesus / God / Moses or anyone else in the Bible is unproven. Its all supposition, myth, fantasy which is what all religions are based on.

There are definitely places that value gay people:

https://downingplaceurc.org/lgbtq-at-downing-place/

I've been a church person all my life and I have no problem with gay people,

I really strongly object to people on here saying that all Christian churches are homophobic. It simply is not true.

Mermaids? That cesspit of homophobia where kids are taught that if they are attracted to the same sex they could be trans? That mermaids? Started by a woman who had her gay child castrated? That mermaids?

may be to extrapolate: church goers ( Bible believing ones) will love your daughter's heart and some of them will want her " cured " - changed to a female womanhood which is relevant to what the Bible teaches. This attitude of theirs might cause all sorts of feelings for you, but why did you go there to start with? The people are only practicing what their holy book preaches

I was part of a church where women could be on the kitchen / serve coffee/ do the Sunday school and crèche And that was it.

no woman was allowed to lead at all. And it was standard that a woman was never ever expected to be alone with a man that wasn’t family or her husband - ever. There must be a chaperone

same church also told a member to disown their lesbian daughter when she was getting married - they didn’t and faced a lot of backlash
apparently if you attend a gay wedding you’re ‘condoning’ that relationship- which is considered sinful

Vicar’s wife gave a loud public dressing down to another woman in the post service coffee when she mentioned she was returning to work after mat leave.

Really? @ElleWoods15 Really?

Yes really @Bogstandards.

I have no idea why you’re implying I would lie about it?

In what way is praying to heal gay people being 'angry' with them? Christian doctrine says to love each other, especially those they consider to be sinning. You might not agree with that and that's fine, but praying for healing is not anger. I think you're projecting your own anger OP.

Very interesting! @topchef1 Good work.