Did I do the right thing? Found a lost toddler

[reallifeboogie]

So I kept her. Haha. No not really. Obviously.

Took my mum for breakfast at dobbies garden centre. Attached to the restaurant is a massive soft play.
Restaurant fairly busy at 10am this morning. Lots of mums and toddlers going into the soft play.
I then notice a little girl, no more than 2.5, wandering around the restaurant with no shoes and socks on. I watch for a couple of minutes and realise she's not with any of the customers in the restaurant so presume her parent(s) are in the soft play.
I got up and tried to ask where mummy was but she was too little to understand and kept pointing towards a table with people eating. I asked them if she was with them and no she wasn't.

Couldn't see any restaurant staff so I took the little girl by the hand and took her into the soft play.

Lots of parents sitting around tables there but nobody seemed to know who the child belonged to.

So I wasn't sure what to do. At this point the girl started to cry so I picked her up and told her we would find mummy.

At this point a very angry woman stormed up to me asking me what I was doing with the child. I explained and asked if she was mum. She said no... she was the girls childminder and had taken another child to the toilet, which is out of the soft play and restaurant area and in the main garden centre. Childminder shouted that I shouldn't have picked the child up and that she thought I was kidnapping her. Apparently I should have just left her to wander around.

It must have been 10 minutes in total from first spotting the child to handing the child back.

Did I do the right thing picking the child up??

I found a small girl in a shop once, crying among the clothes rails. I spoke to her for a bit and we agreed I’d pick her up so she could see over the rails to spot her mum. It did cross my mind I might get shouted at, but I know I’m not a pervert so I figured best I take that risk than let her keep wandering. There were no staff around.

After a little while we saw a woman racing through the aisles with a look of utter horror, she was so relieved to see her daughter I don’t think she knew what to do. I didn’t get told off!

Personally I wouldn't touch or pick up the child, but clearly the childminder was trying to save face cause they made a mistake. I wouldn't think anymore about it.

No one has said the Op did wrong. people, me included have pointed out that maybe picking the child up was not the best thing to do but I don't think anyone has criticised.

It is also not safe to leave a child wandering round in a place people carry hot drinks and food i.e. the restaurant.

Or get into the garden centre bit to play with fertiliser, weedkiller, sharp, spiky garden tools, sharp spiky, poisonous plants...

I disagree- when I lost my toddler on a crowded street the mum who found her held her up- this stopped her both running away and in some ways helped make her more visible. I think it was also a source of comfort to my daughter, I think she handled it perfectly.

My BIL and I were at a soft play. A child (about 2-3yo) got hurt and was standing for about 5 mins absolutely bawling. My BiL went over and asked if they could see their mum / dad. Child kept sobbing and no one came. After another 5 mins, he picked the child up and walked around the tables opposite the soft play, but still, no adult came up. After a few mins, I went and got a member of staff who put an announcement out. Still no one came forward. Finally, after nearly half an hour of the child crying, a woman walked over to BIL and said she was the mum. She had been eating her lunch and was obviously oblivious to the fact her child was hurt / crying / the announcement and the fact she left her young child unattended for at least half an hour. My BIL could’ve literally walked out of the soft play with the child, but the mum just didn’t seem to care. BIL told her to sort out her priorities, if food was more important than making sure her child was safe.

For goodness sake, if you are a parent, PARENT YOUR CHILD AND KEEP AN EYE ON THEM.

I wonder if, with hindsight, you should have taken toddler and childminder to main office and asked for proof of who she was before handing the child over. That way the parents could have been contacted and would know how bad she is

I'd be fuming if that were my child in the care of a childminder. She was walking around the restaurant and the childminder had no idea where she was. Awful.

Picking up a small lost child who is feeling lost is the best thing we can do, It means reassurance for them, it means comfort in not feeling alone.

What's the problem with picking a lost child and giving them a hug and a kiss to make them feel safe?

I think I’d be tempted to try and find out who the childminder was and report her , nothing to have stopped the child getting out of the shop or getting something burning tipped on her whilst she was wandering in the cafe

why would you be kissing a strange child?

And shouting angrily in front of the child? Dreadful behaviour all round.

Bet she had had a fright when went back and she couldn't see the child - serve her right.

You absolutely did the right thing.

That childminder needs muzzling.

You looked for her mum. You went to where you thought her mum might be.

And thanks to you, she's now back with her caretaker. (Albeit not a very good one.)

Toddlers are really good at going missing and we all depend upon the kindness of strangers to take care. Don't let this ungrateful mate stop you doing that again - or the real child predator will scoop them up.

Because is a little child, and little children love affection when they feel lost?

You are not a parent, are you?

absolutely!

You did absolutely the right thing, OP. Many years ago as I was leaving playgroup with my two or three year old, another child passed us heading for the busy main road ahead. She’d climbed a flight of steps on her own while her mother chatted to her friends at the bottom, totally oblivious. I reached out and stopped the child as mum spotted us, dashed up and grabbed her daughter off me, telling her off for “talking to strangers” and completely ignoring me. You’d have thought she’d have apologised later once she thought about what had happened, but no.

It's not ok to kiss strange children. As a parent you should know that.

You did the right thing! That is a terrible childminder. Poor child 😭

The childminder was totally negligent. But you should have taken the child to a member of staff if she was lost.

I personally would have avoided touching the child.

I wouldn’t have picked her up or hugged her (definitely wouldn’t have kissed her) and I would have been reluctant to hold her hand.

But you did the right thing by trying to find her parents.

The childminder sounds awful and any one of those adults could have easily taken the little girl or she could have been injured in some other way.

There are only a certain amount of CM in one area and I would absolutely be reporting her.

If she’s this bad in public then I dread to think what she’s like at home.

I normally stand with the child and shout is this child with anyone if no staff about....you should have asked the CMS name and if she was going to report herself to Ofsted for losing a child. All children should go with her

She may be able to find out who it was in other ways.

OP you can report this incident, if you are able to find out who the childminder is, to the LADO at your local council.

I would have stayed in the restaurant if that's where you found her, and kept her busy until you could find staff to make an announcement etc, but it was also fine to go and check soft play as that would make sense as she didn't have shoes or socks on.