Did I do the right thing? Found a lost toddler

[reallifeboogie]

So I kept her. Haha. No not really. Obviously.

Took my mum for breakfast at dobbies garden centre. Attached to the restaurant is a massive soft play.
Restaurant fairly busy at 10am this morning. Lots of mums and toddlers going into the soft play.
I then notice a little girl, no more than 2.5, wandering around the restaurant with no shoes and socks on. I watch for a couple of minutes and realise she's not with any of the customers in the restaurant so presume her parent(s) are in the soft play.
I got up and tried to ask where mummy was but she was too little to understand and kept pointing towards a table with people eating. I asked them if she was with them and no she wasn't.

Couldn't see any restaurant staff so I took the little girl by the hand and took her into the soft play.

Lots of parents sitting around tables there but nobody seemed to know who the child belonged to.

So I wasn't sure what to do. At this point the girl started to cry so I picked her up and told her we would find mummy.

At this point a very angry woman stormed up to me asking me what I was doing with the child. I explained and asked if she was mum. She said no... she was the girls childminder and had taken another child to the toilet, which is out of the soft play and restaurant area and in the main garden centre. Childminder shouted that I shouldn't have picked the child up and that she thought I was kidnapping her. Apparently I should have just left her to wander around.

It must have been 10 minutes in total from first spotting the child to handing the child back.

Did I do the right thing picking the child up??

You need to try to identify the childminder and report her for neglect. Can you imagine if that girl’s parents knew….!

You absolutely did the right thing

Excellent idea!

With our childminder, I had to sign a form that enabled another childminder to watch her while my childminder went to the loos.

Where does the op say she kissed the child? She said she picked her up? Probably to quickly return her to the soft play.

The CM was out of order and probably panicking that her negligence had been caught out.

I once found a todder crying and wearing only a nappy in a car park with a creek on one side and busy road on the other. It was outside a club house. I didn't pick up the child but left my young son with the toddler to keep him off the road and out of the creek and went to bang on the door. I didn't pick up the child because I thought I might frighten him. I was contemplating stripping off my jacket to keep him warm but thought this might upset him too. I soon encountered an incredibly flustered woman whose first response had been to scan the creek. I don't think she even thanked us but she was in a total state as the toddler had apparently quietly slipped out during a social function. To be honest, I think I'd be a bit alarmed if some stranger had picked up one of my children.

The childminder was obviously worried and lashed out at you. If I were the parent I would have been pretty angry at the CM for not taking both children into the toilet. I think out of everyone your behaviour was the least problematic!

Sounds very much like the Havant Dobbies? I’ve heard a people kick off in there a couple of times when I’ve been in the cafe. 🙄

As a parent, I will always make sure a small child is feeling safe if, for whatever reason, their parents/carers lost track of them

Reassuring little kids often means hugs, kisses and loving words. If you have problems with it, that's your issue/

This is absolutely what anyone should do if they find a lost child. They should not advertise to other adults that the child in their company is lost as anyone could take them!!

It's not ok to kiss strange children. You're quite alone in thinking it is. Comforting words, a hand hold, pat on the head, possibly pop them on your hip circumstances depending. Kissing, absolutely not.

You did the right thing.
I would've done exactly the same
The childminder was defensive because she was in the wrong.. Very wrong
Poor little girl must've been worried.
It's a shame the girl couldn't talk, and tell her DM!

She was just panicked. The child minder I mean. I'm always finding lost children and the parents are almost always cross.

I wouldn't have picked her up but that's because I'm a teacher and I'm used to comforting children without touching them but it's instinctive to pick up a lost toddler so I wouldn't give it another thought.

I don't think you did anything wrong, the childminder was probably realising how badly it could have gone if someone had tried to kidnap a child under her watch and reacted badly to you because of that guilt.

You did exactly the right thing, and I'd be asking on the local FB groups to try and find the family and tell them.

She wasn’t just panicked! She intentionally left the child alone in a completely separate part of the building. I dread sending my kids to be looked after if this is the attitude of childminders/teachers!

The childminder is bloody lucky that it was you who approached the little girl and not someone with other intentions.

I'd be very tempted if there was a city/community facebook page to put up a post outlining the experience, rough description of the little girl ie what she was wearing etc and where you were with the hopes that the parents see the post. I'd be utterly horrified if the childminder left my toddler unattended in a public place.

She wasn’t just panicked! She intentionally left the child alone in a completely separate part of the building. I dread sending my kids to be looked after if this is the attitude of childminders/teachers!

The childminder shouted at the OP because she was panicked. The thread is about whether the OP did the right thing by picking the child up because she was then yelled at.

Snap. Nursery isn't perfect, but I'd choose it over a childminder every time.

Not it isn't the attitude of all childminders and teachers.

The child was more likely to be hurt and it could be very badly than have someone kidnap her due to the location.

My own adult DP has had shelves fall on him in a supermarket so image what a little kid could get up to in restaurant with a garden centre attached.

You’re correct I worded it badly.

I would have and have done the same. Similar situation, small child wandering to the car park- I started shouting 'who are you with' then had to sprint to grab them exiting the door to the car park.
I held onto the kids hand and walked up and down shouting 'who does this child belong to'- eventually a surprised set of 4 ADULTS sat by the play equipment outside the kitchen area about 20m away expressed mild surprise when I told them how far away the child had got.
I shouted at them briefly about being more careful and stormed off.
It took me hours to calm down.

With time to think about this I'd have smiled sweetly and said "Oh I know someone looking for a childminder, can you give me your details?" and then reported her to the council.

But in reality I'd have been shocked that she went on the offensive and would have probably told her she's an idiot and lucky I didn't call the police.

Did you mention it to the soft play staff?

Indeed, the child was more likely to have been hurt, I only referenced kidnapping as that's what the childminder accused the OP of appearing to be doing. But if the childminder was gone for 10 minutes, there's a lot that could have happened in that time.