anyone got a friend who never asks how you are?

[dabbadoo]

I mean like, almost never.
There are many many (vast majority of) occasions when we go out and she talks talks talks about herself.
Went out last night for drinks and she spent over two hours talking about herself and her issues (always so many issues, never changes, stays with man she actively despises, hates job so talks about how much she hates that all the time)
In that time she didn't let us (there were three of us) get a word in and didn't ask how we were. Not once.
I think it might be the end of it really. I walked away thinking I'm done with this "friendship " now. Anyone else experience this?

Yes and I did walk away and much happier now.

Yes and no one sees her anymore.

I have one particular friend who's always in the midst of an emotional crisis (usually brought on by her own actions). We live far apart so meet in London for a full day. Out of 8 hours together she often never asks me anything about myself. If she does, it's a very quick "How are you?" then she changes the subject back to her. I'm getting fed up with it!!

I known many people like this over the years.
Also those who will tell you the same story over again or their own moans constantly
it's best to nod and smile as not much you can do to help ( or quietly drop if it's just an acquaintance or not a close friend if it bothers you a lot)
They really are not interested in you and your own worries or life. They just can't do a two way friendship.

I usually say "is there anything you want to ask me jan?".

The ' toppers ' are the worst as well ( and tend not to ask you anything about your own life)
They always have it better bigger and brighter than you do.

I have a mother like this.

And an ex husband.

And several ex friends.

I managed to ditch the husband and friends at the same time, but I can't ditch my mum, even though I am so upset about it. I just limit phone calls and cut her off when I can't take any more.

Yes A sister...

Yes I had a friend like this. I took the decision to walk away because I eventually realised she just had no interest in my life. I feel good about that decision. She didn't enhance my life in any meaningful way.

My mum was like that

Yes, I have a friend like this. She will ask how you are but it's a conversation opener so she can tell you how she is.

She also isn't happy telling you how she is once. I've sat for forty minutes before listening to her tell me how tired she is in various different ways. It's impossible to change the subject. I have to walk away in the end because this would go on indefinitely.

I've considered whether to stop being friends with her but she's been having a really hard time over the last few years so I'm being patient for now. I mainly talk to her over WhatsApp now because she's got no choice other than to let the conversation take turns.

Yes
I have a friend who just messages me 30+ times a day
Never asks how I am or even a congratulations on the birth of my new granddaughter,just 'me,me,me,myself and i'
It's all about her ex,every bloke who fancies her (they dont),her family,her job,how shite the jobcentre is or her pets
I've taken to answering every 5 ish message as I've had enough

Yeah these people are something else

Good god I couldn’t cope with 30 messages a day, I’d have to mute her and maybe reply once a week that’s madness!

OP she sounds awful, next time can you arrange to just meet the other friend who couldn’t get a word in edgeways either and just carry on without inviting her?

I had someone like this and only see her now if someone else arranges something as a bigger group so she can’t dominate the entire conversation.

Yep, I’m distancing myself from my oldest friend. I got fed up of hearing all about her life, her work, her brother’s life, her nephew’s life, her cousin’s life, her cousin’s son’s life before she would even ask how I was.

Last time we met up we had walked in to town, ate a meal and were on our second drinks before she remembered to ask after my grandson who had been born just a few days before. And she only asked then because she saw his photo on my phone when it lit up.

Yes. Asked nothing about DH when he was gravely ill in hospital or when he got home or how I was coping. The week after he did get home she decided her husband was very unwell and how would SHE cope if he went into hospital and went on and on and on about it. There was zero wrong with him.
she is very popular and has lots of friends, I’m suspicious she’s nicer to them. She only ever wants me for favours and stuff and I don’t know if I was just in the category of useful person than friend.

Yes, I have a friend like this. She only contacts me to give me a monologue about her life. Really, really long messages. Zero interest in my life, asks me nothing. If I say something about my life unprompted by her she says things like ‘that’s nice’/ ‘oh no’ then carries on talking about herself!
Ive given up.

Not any more. I used to always have to visit her. She wouldn’t come to my house, and always talked about herself.

One time my brother said to me “so that was Caroline on the phone” and I asked him how he knew. He said I hadn’t spoken for 45 minutes while she talked about herself. That was one of the last times I spoke to her. It was a relief, and I just hadn’t realised how bad it was. I’m older now and wouldn’t put up with it.

My sister too. She literally never asks me anything about myself or my family unless she wants information to further her own ends.

Yes that’s particularly hurtful. I find childless friends or those without grandchildren themselves show no interest whatsoever.

thanks,
glad I'm not alone with this. It feels like I've reached the end with her. Even when we're having a really shit time/are very anxious/ autistic (know this can be an issue as. two of my daughters are) we can still extend some
common courtesy and interest in other
people, can't we? I wonder why she imagines I'd be satisfied with a friendship where I never get to share anything about myself, ever.

No one ever asks me how I am. No one ever listens when I talk. There is a reason I now don’t see people.

My BIL is one who monologues. He caught me on the phone once when DH was out and talked about some football match for an hour. I kept saying I didn’t watch/zero interest in football. At the end he still asked me if I was watching the next one, only then he listened to what I was saying and then seemed really annoyed I wasn’t interested.

I’ve a friend who asks me how I am just before or just after tell me how she is, which is the main purpose of the contact from her