42 too old for another baby?

[time2changeCharlieBrown]

Anyone had one around or after this age? Tell me your experience
I am wondering if I could, if we did try and it happens
is it too old?
Would be biggish age gaps too
and worry about the toll it would physically and mentally take?
it’s probably a bad idea but I can’t stop thinking about it!

I conceived my youngest at 41 and had him at 42. It was OK for me. But it was harder than earlier.

Just for anyone who thinks that ‘no one thinks 31 is young to have a baby’. In my London primary school I’m the youngest mum in the class by at least a couple of years, had my baby at 32.
(I only know cos people have been having 40ths!)

I'm 35. My youngest is 20 months and has only just starting to sleep through the night, it's sporadic but it's happening. I could never do it again because of the sleep. Even at 35, I've noticed how much more exhausted I am than when I had my first at 31.

No I'm not FUCKED dear, because I didn't have babies in my 40s/infants and juniors in my 50s. Mine had left home by the time I was mid 40s.

But the implication is that you're so exhausted that you can't imagine anyone being able to run around after kids in their 40s and 50s but many of us can.

You are so angry, it's comical.

It's a shame that your friend's Mum is ill, but this would still be a strain on your friend whatever her age. I'd argue that caring for an ill parent is just as stressful and difficult at 56 as it is at 36, in fact perhaps more so with more chance of starting to have health issues yourself coming towards 60.

I'd have a baby at 42 if it was my first...but I wouldn't if I had older children. I'm 42 with two teens and exhausted! But maybe that's not so much my age but more the fact that I've been parenting for the better part of two decades.

I'm 43 and the thought of having another one now fills me with horror! I have 2 DDs, the youngest is 9 and I just couldn't start again now!
I think the only advantage about having another one now would be I think I would be way more chilled about stuff and less bothered about being judged

Had twins at 43. Pregnancy wasn’t too tough but l have never had a singleton pregnancy. Morning sickness was something else and didn’t end until week 19. I was in quite good shape at the time which helped. People continue to ask if lm having more but lm 45 and already have twins?! So no

It’s hard under the twin lense as having 2 is so intense. Having only 1 looks way easier. But financially we are stretched plus l don’t want another maternity leave and my body bounced back well last time. Might not next time

It's called reality though isn't it ?

In current times we love to tell people they can be anything and do anything and sugar coat card hard facts, but there you are - they still exist.

I do feel slightly sad that I didn't have either of my children earlier so that (statistically) I would be in their lives for longer. But as there is absolutely nothing I can do about this fact now I have had to make peace with it and just concentrate on trying to keep young (attitude) and healthy for them.

Same. Infertility issues meant that I didn't manage a successful pregnancy until 41, and I feel that it is my responsibility to look after my health. Obviously, there are a lot of health issues beyond our control, but I try and minimise the risks as much as I can by eating well and exercising.

It completely depends how much you both want it.

If you're not both keen then I expect one or both of you will come to resent/ regret it.

I know someone who had a baby at 43, it was her first and a much longed-for child, and she is extremely happy, she loves being a mum.

There's no right or wrong - if your body can do it then you're not too old - it's just finding clarity in what you want.

I had my first at 36 and last just shy of my 42nd birthday. It’s hard physically, I will hold my hands up to say I have never been the fittest and healthiest of people. I’ve had health issues since dd was born but not all down to my age.

I personally feel having children older has many benefits although I get not everyone has as much energy as they once did.

Don’t listen to others, if it feels right do it for you. Many women have babies in their 40s and are very happy.

I think we've all gone mad! Nobody should be the 'youngest mother' in a group at 30 bloody 2!

I think we'll pay for this eventually. It's already caught well and truly on that the age to start thinking about having kids is 35+. It'll move to 40+ soon 🙄but there again we now believe 'men' can have babies and think nothing of hiring out wombs for 2 males to have babies, so... Nothing would suprise me

For me op I think it depends on a few things. How fit and healthy you are is important, I'm 37 with a toddler and it's exhausting and I definitely feel it. Totally doable but I wish I was fitter.

How financially stable you are and how stable your relationship is are big factors.

If you feel fit and healthy and the other factors are good then I think go for it. But I would make sure you consider things like if you or your dh had to leave work due to ill health could you still afford them?

I think this is the most sensible post on this thread !

I have a 15 year old at 60, it's fine. Admittedly I am a person who has always had loads of energy, enjoys being busy, am very fit, so that probably makes a difference.

Surely for a lot of people who say they’re knackered in their forties and glad they had kids young, are exhausted because they’re parenting teenagers though?

True, everyone is exhausted because they’ve had kids earlier, but also assume ageing has a role to play, therefore it is assumed that delaying parenthood by a decade would be even harder

I had my first at 35 and my second at 43. It was fine, I was a bit more nervous throughout the pregnancy but it was plain sailing and I don’t regret it for a single second. Didn’t find it any harder than I did at 35. I would have regretted it so
much if I hadn’t.

I had DC2 at 42 (DC1 at 35) and no issues at all conceiving or with the pregnancy and birth. I do appreciate how lucky I was though. I’ve got no major health issues but I’d never have described myself as fit and and active, anything but - even in my 20s! But I didn’t find it excessively tiring having a preschooler. A teenager may be different!

I didn’t plan to have a baby so late but never felt the timing was quite right then had a sudden sense of panic and time running out! Career-wise it made sense for me to wait and I’m financially secure now.

Personally, I’m not really one for socialising much, but can imagine if you are then being tied to another 16ish years of childcare might be a consideration.

First child at 17, Fifth child at 42..... Fifth was admittedly unplanned and they're all 25,21,16 and 14.

Pregnancy was healthy but I was very sick... feel that this pregnancy was the only one I worked through as I had separated from her father and now had a career.

Financially and emotionally we are better off.... I'd say that I'm chilled out and she's thriving... I'm not worried about growing old with her.... I look forward to travelling with her when the others have all left home. My older children absolutely adore her as do my friendship group, I think this is more because our children are old enough now to start their own families so we've been waiting to be grandparents x until I changed that trajectory 😂😂

Have just returned to work from maternity.... that's a mission getting ready in the morning but little one is loving nursery and I'm now working a three day week to accommodate our new way of life x

She's an absolute dream... I'd have never planned for this but it's nowhere near as bad as people make out x she brings us so much joy x and will definitely keep me young and healthy!

I had my my first aged 37 - my daughter is just turning 3 and I’m thinking about adding a second before I turn 42.
depends how active and healthy you are.
i don’t think it will be easy but I also don’t know if I am one and done yet

This!

If you're just starting out and having your first at 42, then great... You've lived your pre children life. You've had sleep and good times with lots of freedom. So you can dedicate your life to raising your child.

If you have had your kids and they are at a good age where they are independent, the though of starting again is scary! Starting again isn't always going to be a good thing unless you are desperate for another and realise what it means for your freedom.

I had mine at 24, 30 and 34 and honestly I'm 51 now and the youngest is 17 and I just don't think I could do it aged 42 at all.

Yes if life circumstances dictate late motherhood that’s the hand you are dealt. I worked with a lady who was with an adoring Dh since they were mid twenties and openly admitted delaying having kids so they could work abroad have fun etc. she had one Dd early 40s then was devastated by secondary infertility. They were lawyers so bright people I couldn’t believe their blithe confidence it would all be fine to have kids that late.