42 too old for another baby?

[time2changeCharlieBrown]

Anyone had one around or after this age? Tell me your experience
I am wondering if I could, if we did try and it happens
is it too old?
Would be biggish age gaps too
and worry about the toll it would physically and mentally take?
it’s probably a bad idea but I can’t stop thinking about it!

I'm 41 and pregnant with my second - 42 was my personal cut-off age. But my eldest is only 4 and all my friends the same age have babies and toddlers, it's quite normal to have children later on in my social circle.

This pregnancy has been more tiring than the last but I think that's always the case when you already have one to look after! Otherwise everything has been fine and I had no trouble getting pregnant again. Everyone is different though. But I have to say I don't understand people who go back to having babies with a massive age gap, I don't see the benefit of that at all.

i think if its a first, go for it if you want kids.

I couldn't imagine doing it again at this age though, mine are 15 and 18, and i'm just starting to enjoy a level of freedom, i wouldn't be able to do another 18 years of this!

I had mine a week before my 43rd birthday after 4 years of miscarriage and infertility.

Easy pregnancy, planned section and good recovery. I would have no hesitation in telling you to go for it. I’m wrecked about 95% of the time but I’m where I want to be in life and they want for nothing.

Aged 40, the chance of getting pregnant is 5%, aged 42 that drops to 1%.

I am 53 with a 10 year old. His closest sibling is nearly 16. No regrets. Uneventful pregnancy.. Was 5 weeks early due to a blood clot found but they never once indicated it was age related.

I had my fourth child at 42. It is hard to tell if the tiredness was as a result of the pregnancy, working, or having three other pre-school children. I was glad it was my last, though. I was also aware that the risk to the health of the baby had increased significantly between the first and the fourth.

I’m 47 and suddenly feel a lot older than I did just a couple of years ago. My sleep is all over the place (I definitely need more than I used to), random aches and pains, generally less energy even though I still work in a physical job and get up the gym regularly.

Our dc are older teens now. I know that I would struggle energy wise to give to a small child now what I was able to give to ours when they were younger. 5 years in our 40’s is much different to to 5 years in our 20’s or 30’s.

THIS! ^ Why is this same thread on here at least two or three times a week asking, 'is it too old to have a baby at 42/43 plus?!'

Of course it is! For so many different reasons - and very few women do it, despite posters diving onto these threads claiming they and every women they know had 5 babies after 40!

@time2changeCharlieBrown They're going to still be at school while you're knocking the door of 60. It's absolutely 100% too old to have a baby. Why? Why do people keep asking this when they already know the answer?

I take it this is your first? If it is, that's different to a second or third.

If you have a committed helpful dad-to-be then yes, definitely consider it

My friend had her first (and only) baby at 47 with egg donation, her (younger) husband is the main carer and she's the bread winner.works great for them

Things have changed a LOT in recent years, you would be one of many women in their 40's that the midwife is seeing each week!

I had dc3 at 42, I'm 45 now. I've never needed much sleep and always had a lot of energy so it hasn't made me feel tired at all. I'm a sahm so fortunately haven't had to juggle parenting with a job.

Pregnancy and elcs birth were both easy and dc has no health issues and is meeting all appropriate milestones. No fertility treatment needed, although we had a relaxed "don't track anything but don't use contraception" approach so I didn't get stressed about ttc. No miscarriages.

I've had no ongoing health problems although it's been far harder to shift the baby weight compared to earlier pgs.

I don't think it's too old, but everyone's different. There's a mix at my school.

I'm 38 and feel too old. I don't have the energy I had even 5 years ago tbh. Not sure what that says about me lol. .

Had my fifth at 42 , my mum had me at 42 and my sister had hers at 43.

It's been great!!

I’m 42 and my dc are 11 and 8. Tbh the thought of another baby fills me with dread. I absolutely would not want to do it now. However, I can see if you’re childless that you might consider having a baby at 42.

I don’t think your age matters. I’m turning 56 next month with a 15 and 17 year old. I was the oldest mum at the primary school gates.

Those who think it’s an horrific idea are probably speaking from their own experience where they’ve found parenting physically and mentally exhausting due to their own energy levels or lifestyle demands.

But parenting can be exhausting whether you’re 20 or 50

I only work around 30 hours a week, find time to go for a run 3 times a week, plus my job is very active, but I’m not superwoman, pretty ordinary really, so I guess if you feel fit enough to cope with the sleep deprivation, and take into account potential for complications otherwise unanticipated (debilitating prolapse/stillbirth risk/etc) plus your financial side is covered for the next 10 years regarding childcare costs, then why not.

It’s the getting pregnant part that could be hard.
Just because lots of women will reply on posts like this that they had their’s at 45/50/55 that’s not representative of the population as a whole - generally it’s incredibly difficult to conceive after 40.

I did at 46 but lost the baby just before the first scan. I know another woman who was 46 and had been trying since she was 40 to have her second child.

Life is short. Do you what you feel you must do. Heart over head situation IMO.

You must move in very limited social circles.

I know loads of women who have babies late 30s/early 40s - it's now the norm in many places. I had my first at 31 and was considered very young!

My husband will be 41 when our baby is born but I'll be 28

I personally wouldn't as I had mine V young and I'm a nanny at 41 🙈 BUT if you want to go for it, then do!

Good luck OP ☺️

I was 43.2. Dh was 33...

DH2 had his vascestomy reversed when we got together. I was 35. Nothing happened. Ten years later at 45 I became pregnant. I had all the misgivings mentioned but I was over the moon.I sadly miscarried at 13 weeks. Looking back everything would have worked out. I’m 70 now but still healthy and working. I think you take things more in your stride when you are older.

Exactly!
I could not think of anything worse than having kids in my 20s and 30s as wanted my freedom and to focus on work etc. Only felt ready in my 40s. Had my DC at the age of 42

That is exactly what I did. It was the best decision I ever made.

One thing to consider (which admittedly I would not have thought of at your age myself) is will having another child now affect when you can retire and is that something you would be ok with?

That is a very good point @Decorhate

I had DD at nearly 42 (only child). She graduated from university two years ago and has applied for a masters to start next year. While she will get a loan for tuition fees, she won't get a maintenance loan. I get my state pension in a few weeks, but will continue working in order to be able to support her (she does have savings as well as she has been working for the lat two years).

@time2changeCharlieBrown how many children do you already have and how old are they?

No one thinks 31 is young to have a baby!

This is a horribly dogmatic and narrow-minded answer, and frankly misleading, so I hope the OP ignores it. As another poster has said among professionals in London having babies in your early forties is really not uncommon. I have three friends who have and in my NCT everyone was in their thirties aside from two women in their early forties. If you want to get pregnant at 42 years old and you can, then do it I say. Of course, family nearby and financial means would take the strain off - but that is true at any age.