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Original poster

Absolutely fekkin fuming

394 replies

almondflake · 14/09/2024 01:47

We're Into the first day of a family holiday to Mexico with our daughter, her boyfriend and another couple .
It took us hours to get here and after a decent nights sleep , daughters boyfriend has had too much to drink and kicked off big time , storming round the hotel then kicking the hotel room door in . Luckily the hotel have not called the police , we've paid for the door , my husband has taken the boyfriend away to sober up , I'm sat in my hotel room with a distraught daughter .we're hoping to get him on a flight home tomorrow as he can't stay here , I'm absolutely furious with him, he's 24 and he's blaming it all on our daughter .
I'm not looking for solutions just venting really .

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 14/09/2024 04:01

Your poor DD. Hopefully she’s seen that he’s an entitled parasite and gets rid. (Must admit I was guilty of carrying a couple of blokes like this in my youth. Have been married to a lovely one for 25 years now.) She’s lucky to have such lovely parents.

Original poster
almondflake · 14/09/2024 04:01

@DreamTheMoors that must have been absolutely awful for you I can't imagine how scared you must have been .

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 14/09/2024 04:02

@almondflake Bloody manchild… not taking any responsibility for being aggressive and fucking up a door is he? Or not having a job, or accepting a free holiday and fucking it up on the first day for everyone else. Wanker.

Original poster
almondflake · 14/09/2024 04:05

@Fraaahnces I've seen him in a new light , definitely a wanker .
I've got her asleep now in my room and husband is in the other room with the dick head . We'll see what the morning brings .

OP posts:
Original poster
almondflake · 14/09/2024 04:12

In answer to a previous question , the hotel are willing to let him stay but have taken his wrist band off him and given him a no alcohol one and have said any other bad behaviour or violence they will call the police .
I still want him gone tomorrow if it can be arranged. We'll have to speak to the rep tomorrow , it's 10pm here , as looking at one way flights back home are costing around £800 . The cheapest one was about £350 but would take 54 hours with 3 stopovers which might serve him right to be honest .

OP posts:
DreamTheMoors · 14/09/2024 04:20

@almondflake
Thank you. It was - it was terrible.
@NiftyKoala
Thank you - I don’t think these folks wishing a night in the police station for the boyfriend really understand what they’re wishing. The Mexican cops are happy to in the other direction while somebody does drugs or gets beat up - or worse.
When I got in the car, the officer in the passenger seat threw a a big ziploc bag of weed at me and some rolling papers and demanded I roll a joint.
I didn’t know how to roll a joint!
I could easily have stolen it - but I didn’t want it and crossing the US border with drugs is no bueno.
Every time I had to get in a new & different car, my heart would skip a few beats. The final leg back into San Diego I accepted it ride with a van full of young guys.
It was like horror movie only in real life & slow motion.
Thank you for your perspective.

ZekeZeke · 14/09/2024 04:20

He is extremely lucky he wasn't arrested.
Hopefully your daughter will see sense and dump him for good.

WiddlinDiddlin · 14/09/2024 04:37

... no way is this the first time he's behaved like a total cunt.

She's just been hiding it from you because she knows its wrong, she knows you'll be unhappy about it and she feels foolish for getting sucked in by him.

Hopefully with your support she will tell you what's really been going on and you can help get rid of him out of her life for good!

Thevelvelletes · 14/09/2024 04:38

It's well documented that Mexico is a very dangerous country.
How much of a dummy have you to be to kick off and act the dick in a country where the police are as ruthless as the cartel's.

sashh · 14/09/2024 04:38

almondflake · 14/09/2024 04:12

In answer to a previous question , the hotel are willing to let him stay but have taken his wrist band off him and given him a no alcohol one and have said any other bad behaviour or violence they will call the police .
I still want him gone tomorrow if it can be arranged. We'll have to speak to the rep tomorrow , it's 10pm here , as looking at one way flights back home are costing around £800 . The cheapest one was about £350 but would take 54 hours with 3 stopovers which might serve him right to be honest .

Get the cheap flight. Although he should be paying his own fare, but I understand you just want him gone.

kkloo · 14/09/2024 04:50

sashh · 14/09/2024 04:38

Get the cheap flight. Although he should be paying his own fare, but I understand you just want him gone.

Show quote history

I can't see him agreeing to go home if there's 3 stopovers and it takes 54 hours.

whiteroseredrose · 14/09/2024 04:54

I seriously hope your DD gets rid of him. Blaming her for his bad behaviour is the biggest red flag you can get.

Wallywobbles · 14/09/2024 05:00

In her shoes at that age I'd have done the stupid thing. Can I recommend that you introduce her to Mumsnet today. And ask her to post for advice. 100 women who aren't her mum will be a far quicker wake up call.

LAMPS1 · 14/09/2024 05:24

When he’s sober again, he will do/ say everything he can to keep the blame on your dd
And he will do/say everything he can to continue the holiday, including pretending to be sorry and promising it will never happen again.

Your distraught daughter will be wishing this incident never happened and may wish she could just go back to covering up for him instead of facing the truth.. She faces a rotten holiday whatever happens.

Your best bet is taking all cash, cards and phone off him while he is still sleeping so that he can’t go elsewhere for alcohol and is dependent on you for everything. You could tell him that his phone and bank cards are with the hotel along with his passport.

When he wakes up, he needs to be made to understand how close he came and how close he still is, to being in a Mexican police cell with all the implications of how things could be for him under the watch of the corrupt police who operate by brute force, not by justice and protection. I hope you can manage to persuade him that his best bet is to get out of the country as soon as it can be arranged before the hotel management decide to press charges….to get on the next flight home by telling him how lucky an escape he has had so far, because of your willingness to help him while you still can. It’s the last thing he will want to face up to doing and of course you risk paying out your holiday cash for the flight, - but him not getting on it. If he does go awol, you would need the help and advice of your country’s embassy or consulate.

You and your DH sound like a lovely, caring couple. I’m really sorry this has happened. It’s scary and very distressing all round.
I hope you can manage to contain him and persuade him to go home for his own safety. And then to use the holiday to persuade your dd never to get back with him.

Good luck with it all.

AncientAndModern1 · 14/09/2024 05:28

Does he know you’ve paid/agreed to pay for the damage? If not, tell him that you will only pay for the damage if he gets on the flight home. Otherwise he will have to pay or the hotel will call the police and he will be arrested and you won’t help him. That should provide the incentive he needs to go.

DeCaray · 14/09/2024 05:54

Use this time to chat with your daughter as to why her self esteem is so low that she has put up with someone so awful and why she has paid for him to go on the holiday when he's a good foe nothing loser.

Otherwise she is going to stay with him or if she doesn't up her standards, the next loser that comes along will be her new boyfriend.

OhNotAgainTimothy · 14/09/2024 06:09

Do they live together? I’d send him home but would keep in mind the state you could find their home in when you get back. Be prepared to take your daughter home to your place, at least in the first instance.
I hope she is ok and I hope the rest of your holiday is far better.

PussGirl · 14/09/2024 06:11

What an idiot. Your DD needs to dump him asap.

mjf981 · 14/09/2024 06:13

He’s 24! A fully grown man. And an aggressive wanker.
I’d have called the cops and then kicked him out. It would be the walk up call he needs. I definitely wouldn’t be paying for a flight home after you’ve now paid for the door, he needs to sort himself out.

LoudSnoringDog · 14/09/2024 06:20

What an idiot. Agree with PP that this is unlikely to have been the first time he has acted like this.

He's incredibly lucky they did not call the police.

KievLoverTwo · 14/09/2024 06:20

Oh, this is really bad. It’s really bad that she has been covering for him re: employment. Why did she do that?

I long suspected a cousin was a nasty piece of shit and then saw him behave similarly, coked off his head. I can’t believe she still married him anyway after the abuse I heard.

Glad you are sending him home. Your poor daughter must be so humiliated.

I hope you manage to have some good times on your holiday, OP.

Ava27268 · 14/09/2024 06:21

How awful but also, quite fortunate for you and her dad to have witnessed this kind of behaviour and to intervene now, rather than it happening years down the line behind closed doors. I hope your daughter can forget about the idiot on your holiday and make plans to leave him!

Gettingbysomehow · 14/09/2024 06:34

This prick sponging off a woman then violence, then blaming her for the violence. No remorse. He is a classic abuser.
I ended up in a refuge because of a man like this.
You absolutely must persuade her not to go back to him.

RuggedHairyTortoise · 14/09/2024 06:36

Definitely send him home.

Where is the cat? In a cattery or being looked after at home? Either way can you tell the person looking after it that under no circumstances is he permitted to take it when he returns, and if being looked after in the home can the person remove it to theirs before he returns? . An angry vengeful drunk (which is what he will be when he gets home) should not be anywhere near your DD's beloved pet, just in case.

I'm so sorry this has happened.

MargotEmin · 14/09/2024 06:46

I hope your husband is having serious words with him in the other room. Words that make clear the boyfriend is a complete disgrace and must never go near your daughter again. This behaviour would be bad enough anywhere in the world but in Mexico, is he completely stupid and insane?! I could never forgive anyone who put my child at risk of being caught up with Mexican police.