Absolutely fekkin fuming

[almondflake]

We're Into the first day of a family holiday to Mexico with our daughter, her boyfriend and another couple .
It took us hours to get here and after a decent nights sleep , daughters boyfriend has had too much to drink and kicked off big time , storming round the hotel then kicking the hotel room door in . Luckily the hotel have not called the police , we've paid for the door , my husband has taken the boyfriend away to sober up , I'm sat in my hotel room with a distraught daughter .we're hoping to get him on a flight home tomorrow as he can't stay here , I'm absolutely furious with him, he's 24 and he's blaming it all on our daughter .
I'm not looking for solutions just venting really .

My daughter was in a relationship with someone who behaved like this @almondflake & it only got worse as their relationship progressed. By the end he was constantly accusing her of things she hadn’t done & wouldn’t do like infidelity & blaming her for every thing that ever went wrong for him.

Tbh this man sounds like he has serious issues and your daughter needs to end things asap. Sorry to say it will probably ruin the holiday. My daughter was devastated for over a year despite her ex bf really showing his true colours at the end by immediately jumping into another relationship with someone he had lined up to replace her, while still accusing her of being the untrustworthy one.

This most likely. Get him gone on the cheap flight.

Hopefully the time without him will give your daughter the perspective she needs.

Sounds like everyone needs to sober up and then have a conversation ; a lot of people are assuming he is some sort of tyrant at home and in reality that might not be the case. Your daughter paying for his trip might be more that she wanted him there vs him being abusive etc - sleep it off

Unfortunately he is an adult so you can’t ‘put’ him on a 54 hour flight or make him leave the hotel if he wishes to stay and pay his own way.

That is absolutely terrifying!!! What a nightmare.

But what are the chances that he wants to pay his own way, given that he hasn't paid for the holiday in the first place?

Hopefully the blinkers will come off your DDs eyes now. As well as him being a lazy, workshy bastard who is happy to sponge off her, she can also now see that he is aggressive and violent.
In the short term see if she will speak to the rep re: what options they have. To be honest I really can't see how you can all enjoy your break if he is in the same hotel.
Can he at least be moved to a different place?

Longer term I hope she realises that she is worth so much more than this. She should have dumped him months ago when it became apparent that he was not treating her well. I hope she works on her self esteem/ confidence and sets higher boundaries with her next boyfriend.

@almondflake - He's a disaster. Hope to goodness your Daughter sees him now for the idiot he is.

He clearly is nasty underneath- Alcohol just strips away the layers faster to see the ''real them'' in my opinion.

''In vino veritas''

Are his parents paying for the flight? I can't imagine that he is.

What a nasty man. Get shot of him ASAP and enjoy your holiday.

If the choice is pay for a hotel room for the remainder of the trip or take a 54 hour + journey, I think majority of people would choose to stay.

I would send him home and call his mum to tell her what he's done. If he's behaving like a child treat him like one.

He's shown your DD who he is, OP: an abusive, cocklodging prick. Now she needs to believe it, and cut the fucker off completely. I wish someone had told me this when I was in a similar relationship 40-odd years ago, it would have saved me 3 years of grief and decades working through the trauma.

The 54- hour, 3 stopover flight sounds perfect for an arsehole like him, hopefully by a long hitchhike home from an airport far away.

Your DD should read this thread.

@almondflake Your updates are awful!

He's a lazy bum who drinks too much and is a lazy bully to boot.
Your Daughter is so lucky she has found out that he's a complete waste of space before marrying and having kids.

Lucky escape.

You honestly sound like the mother of one of these types of men, falling over yourself to minimise unacceptable behaviour.

If he has keys to her place i would probably keep him here. I would nit want him to have access to my home and be anywhere near my pets if there were home when he was like this.
she can dump his ass when you get back and remove all keys.

100% this.

It's 3am in Mexico! Give the woman chance to sleep!

I'd pay for him to piss off and arrange your dd to come back home. He sounds highly abusive he will be like this at home behind close doors. She's only just admitted paying the holiday for him.

His mum has clearly entered the chat.

I think you misunderstand me.

By ''Your updates are awful'' I mean reading them is shocking, about how OP further describes his appalling lazy ways.

Her Daughter paying for the trip {and probably paying for everything else}

Of course I know about time zones - DS did a year out working overseas with a 12 hr time difference.

The cheapest one was about £350 but would take 54 hours with 3 stopovers which might serve him right to be honest .

I would genuinely consider putting him on this one.
if only because I would really want to ensure she is done with him.
if you do this he will be raging and send your Dd a load more abuse / idiotic blame ramblings while you are with her and he is thousands of miles away which is imo more likely to ensure a clean break

Send him on the 54 hour flight. Don't tell him. He will find out soon enough. Absolute idiot. An ex of mine did something similar when we went to a wedding, got absolutely pissed etc. I was absolutely mortified. More because he had behaved like this in front of my friends and family. So disrespectful

@DreamTheMoors omg that's horrendous. You must have thought you were going to die.

lol no not anyone’s mum just think it’s 3am they have all been drinking and best to sober up and discuss in the morning , talk of forcing a grown man to do xyz is just a bit hysterical - he has behaved awfully but I’d hope in the morning once sober he would agree to return home anyway

Well it’s whichever one he can afford. I wouldn’t be paying a penny towards him. Are they living together? Is there people at home who could move her important things over to yours before he gets home? I would not trust him to not trash her belongings in revenge.