Absolutely fekkin fuming

[almondflake]

We're Into the first day of a family holiday to Mexico with our daughter, her boyfriend and another couple .
It took us hours to get here and after a decent nights sleep , daughters boyfriend has had too much to drink and kicked off big time , storming round the hotel then kicking the hotel room door in . Luckily the hotel have not called the police , we've paid for the door , my husband has taken the boyfriend away to sober up , I'm sat in my hotel room with a distraught daughter .we're hoping to get him on a flight home tomorrow as he can't stay here , I'm absolutely furious with him, he's 24 and he's blaming it all on our daughter .
I'm not looking for solutions just venting really .

That said, you are in control of housing him.

You poor thing. My heart goes out to you, what a shit situation . When people are drunk they do stupid things, but this is a red flag, if he can’t have a nice time on the first night of his holiday he is obviously a time bomb waiting to go off

Has he behaved today? Did he just scurry off and keep his head down?

@CalicoPusscat yes hes apologised to everyone involved and he's been the person we expected him to be .

@ArabellaScott we own the house, they pay rent .

Final post , thank you for your input .
I won't be replying to any further comments
The end .

Your daughter pays the rent, given her partner is an unemployed waster living off her from what you said earlier.

I have not suggested she isn’t telling the truth.
what I’ve said is that this is domestic violence and a conversation is necessary.

The other book I'd recommend is It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover about an abusive relationship and the girl's decision whether to stay or leave, which is based on her family. Now made into a film but as usual the book is apparently better.

Nothing more to offer in advice OP.

But thinking about you and your family, I hope you manage to have a decent holiday after this.

Absolutely. It's so embarrassing. Both cultures tend to associate fun with excessive alcohol intake. This needs to change. As a non-drinker who has had (and has) plenty of fun without alcohol (I don't like it, never have) a clear head and plenty of memories of fun times to treasure, is infinitely better. I often smile at dozens of fun nights, holidays, etc, as every moment is engraved in my mind. But I guess it takes plenty of re-education, culturally and individually...

A manipulative little scrote- he's shown you who he is.
All abusers apologise and are sorry - until next time.

And there is always a next time.
The thin veneer of him being 'nice' won't last.

You know what's underneath.

A manipulative little scrote- he's shown you who he is.
All abusers apologise and are sorry - until next time.

And there is always a next time.
The thin veneer of him being 'nice' won't last.

You know what's underneath.

I actually feel sorry for you you’ve obviously been brainwashed in the past that this is acceptable behaviour. Get help

Because the OP has a house and she and her husband can afford to house their naive daughter in another house.

Really....who you expected him to be?
Unbelievable.
I think that boat has absolutely sailed.

He is utter scum.
Only on MN/Jeremy Kyle, do boyfriends smash up doors and carry on with the holiday.
How some people live I guess.
I canot imagine parents carrying on a holiday with dregs like that.
What hotels have to tolerate.

@almondflake I know you said you won't respond but you should think about who lives with your DD in your rental house.

She does not sound mature enough for the lifestyle that you currently facilitate. Having a live-in abusive BF will NOT help her in any way.
I lived in house shares with mates from 18 (uni) until my late 20s. I then moved in with my BF now DH.
I really needed those years in my early 20s living with friends. We had loads of fun, going out, travelling, growing up etc but crucially we looked out for each other. We told each other if we had bad vibes about people's BFs. Our shared experiences helped us develop that 6th sense of how to spot a 'wrong un' early on, before any damage was done.

Your DD is not getting any of this valuable life experience. Please get him to move out and get her to live with friends.

You are doing the right thing OP. No doubt when you get home and DD hears boyfriend tell his version of events to their mutual friends, she will see the light further. You keep being there for her

This may be a blessing in disguise. He's showing all the signs of coercive control. Your daughter may need help to get out of the relationship when she gets home. He'll be furious about being sent home.

@Heyhoitsme - but he hasn't been sent home, and won't be unless he kicks off again and is arrested and put in a Mexican jail to rot and then put on a plane out.

How can he be right? How does anything justify kicking off, storming round the hotel and kicking a door in, let alone not paying for it?

I've seen similar situations before, where a scumbag b/f is leeching off the girl and has her at his beckon call. Unfortunately, these females really struggle to get away from them, even after incidents like this. Be prepared for your daughter being hounded to death by this lazy twat when she gets home, he isn't going to be going anywhere anytime soon. He'll be using all the tricks to keep living rent and work-free, it is likely to be a struggle to get rid of him, unfortunately. Good luck, let us know how it goes 💐

her daughter is currently a vulnerable adult - your response diminishes the mental effect an abusive relationship can have on a person. It doesn’t make her immature or incapable.

@almondflake it would be a good idea to speak to Women's Aid when you're back home for some advice on how best to support your daughter. It can be so difficult to extricate people from abusive relationships unfortunately because abusers are incredibly good at manipulation and restarting the cycle.

What depressingly low standards for a relationship, bloody hell.