Absolutely fekkin fuming

[almondflake]

We're Into the first day of a family holiday to Mexico with our daughter, her boyfriend and another couple .
It took us hours to get here and after a decent nights sleep , daughters boyfriend has had too much to drink and kicked off big time , storming round the hotel then kicking the hotel room door in . Luckily the hotel have not called the police , we've paid for the door , my husband has taken the boyfriend away to sober up , I'm sat in my hotel room with a distraught daughter .we're hoping to get him on a flight home tomorrow as he can't stay here , I'm absolutely furious with him, he's 24 and he's blaming it all on our daughter .
I'm not looking for solutions just venting really .

He sounds controlling and bullying
he won’t ever make her happy, she needs him to go

What an utterly bizarre take on things given that, a) you have no idea of my/our financial status, how many homes we own, and what we have or haven't funded for our own DC, and b) you seem to think that the only possible reason someone might disapprove of parents providing housing for a very young, immature DC to shack up with a violent waster is "jealous".

MN at its best.

I really hope she dumps him, that's exactly how narcissistic gaslighters start out. My ex started out like that, then just got worse and worse, until it got to the point where he was stopping me from leaving the house, was waking me up in the middle of the night calling me a f'ing c u next Tuesday and f'ing whôre. Then started calling our daughter fat and obese to her face (she was skinny), then called me a fat c u next Tuesday. He blamed absolutely everything on me, including when our daughter refused to see him any more. We've been divorced for years now, but the damage still hasn't left me!

How will having a wee, help him? What a strange thing to say!

In the unlikely event you are not taking the piss, @HauntedbyMagpies, may I translate from the Scottish for you - "wee" means small, or very little, to Scottish people and others whose ancestors originated in Scotland.

Urine trouble now, Haunted. "Wee" is Scottish, ffs.

Not everyone on here is from the UK. If you were from Norway or Australia or Japan for example you are highly unlikely to know 'wee' means small in Scotland. I'm sure you don't know some of the dialect terms from Texas or Montreal.

Oh how odd ..why am I hearing that in a clipped home counties accent.

Sounds like an absolute nightmare! But whilst I understand you want him gone, why are you paying all this money out?
What about his own family? Why not contact them to pay for his disgusting behaviour? Assuming if he has a family? Big red flag flying here regarding treatment of your daughter, he needs to be gone from her life ASAP. It will only get worse!

My mum would have wiped the floor with me if I'd behaved like that at any age.

I've had a girl use my son for money too, I told him (please say this to your daughter) "if it's not worked this time round, it will never work a second time, save yourself some heartache and draw a line under it, and move on" unfortunately, My son did get back with her after 6 months but it lasted 8 weeks! (We refused to allow her in our family home) I said to him she's a free-loader never wants a job but him to pay for everything. Hope your daughter sees sense and kicks him to the kerb where he belongs. Enjoy your holiday xx

Does your daughter want him to go ? If she doesn't you are going to have one unhappy girl on your hands. Perhaps she should go with him to save the rest of your holiday

As I wrote ...absolutely the dregs territory.
I cannot think of a single parent of children in their 20's that would be anything other than utterly appalled and he would be making his own way home...as the adult he is.

Parents teach their children standards as they rear them.
Scum like that wouldn't be tolerated for a minute by any parents I know, ourselves included.
It simply wouldn't arise.
That he has been living off the OP via their house is awful.
Their daughter has absolutely mislead them.
I love my children dearly but there is no way I would facilitate nor tolerate such utterly awful behaviour.
Poor hotel staff...well used to dealing with such types.
Completely Jeremy Kyle behaviour.

Wow, that sounds like an incredibly tough and frustrating situation. It’s hard enough traveling and trying to enjoy a family holiday, and then dealing with something like that on the first day? I can’t even imagine how angry and upset you must feel, especially seeing your daughter so distraught while he’s trying to shift the blame onto her.
It’s probably a relief that the hotel didn’t escalate things further, but having to pay for damages and think about getting him out of there really adds to the stress. Vent away—sometimes just putting it all out there helps to process it a little. Hopefully, getting him on a flight back home brings some peace to the rest of your holiday. It sounds like you're handling this with a lot of strength despite the chaos.

This is abuse. Its not your daughters fault he cant control his anger. HE is responsible for his actions. Its 1 step away from 'its your fault i gave you a black eye' if she continues seeing thos man she will either end up always agreeing with him ie tiptoeing around him in case he kicks off or if she does retaliate then the violence can only get worse.ie kicking the door in when he kicked door in he didnt get hos way and she didnt dump him so he got away with that but next time if they argue he knows he will have to up the anti to get his way which to him is not a problem cos she puts up with it

She's in an abusive relationship. He needs to be gone from her life, and any woman's life, now.

(Pedant moment) Not necessarily, plenty of Scots descent in Australia and wee meaning small is not at all unknown here. :)

First & very important thing - she obviously isn't to blame, and make sure she knows that and knows what a pr|ck he is.
And I hope you can ensure that once he's gone you can all have a great time, especially your daughter.

Just want to say you're absolutely right not to involve the Mexican police. The people insisting you do really have no idea of the wild west situation you would be entering into if you do so.

I am glad things are calm for now and that the holiday was salvaged to some extent.

This organisation helped me through getting out of an abusive relationship UK Counselling Network - Low Cost Counselling Services

I highly recommend some counselling for your daughter to help her work though things that may be happening in her relationship. Just reading through all of your comments she is dealing with a lot. I wish her all the best and I hope she is ok.