My dad is ill and I don’t know what to do

[SadGirlAutumn]

I live in Scotland for work and my parents live in Cornwall.

Two weeks ago my dad had a bit of an upset stomach. My mum brushed it off as nothing serious and bought him some Immodium. After 3 or 4 days, I called her to check how he was, he was still poorly so I asked if she'd rung the doctors. She said no.

About a week in, I said again, she should ring the doctors. Immodium was doing nothing. She said no, again, that it would work itself out.

After 10 days, she called the doctors who said he should have flat coke, some Immodium and it'll go away. He has done some tests at the doctors and they've basically shrugged, said it's not E-Coli. and to keep doing what he's doing. They said if it's anything, it's gastroenteritis but that makes 0 sense as my mum hasn't caught it.

It didn't so I came home last night to try and help out.

My dad hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. He's lost 40 pounds. Water makes him sick. He is going to the toilet at least 10 times an hour. The doctors don't want anything to do with him. He's being sick, nothing is coming up anymore because his system is totally empty. He can barely keep his eyes open. 111 has sent a doctor but it's "low priority" and they don't know what time they'll be here. He won't get in the car to go to hospital and between me and my mum we can't get him down, 111 said not to call 999 as he's already in the system.

I'm only 25. I'm so scared. I don’t know what I can do. He can't keep anything down and nobody wants to help us.

I'm very sorry about your husband.
The OP's Dad was admitted and discharged.

Hmm. Good spot. Something isn't adding up is it?

The over dramatics aren't helping either. He's been sent home to die (after he's finished eating his jacket potato).

It sounds like this has been really anxiety-provoking for you; hopefully now your dad seems to be on the mend, he and you can both recover.

If he's had recent clear endoscopies and bowel screening, reassuring bloods and no evidence of malignancy or bacterial infection, then a viral cause is most likely. So long as someone is taking in enough liquid, the best place for someone with viral gastroenteritis to be is their own home, with their own bed and their own bathroom. He's not been sent home to die, or to give doctors a quieter weekend. He's been discharged home because it's considered to be clinically appropriate for him to be at home.

If he keeps having difficulty keeping liquids down, contact the GP sooner rather than later. So long as he's sipping water and flat coke, hopefully he'll start feeling better pretty soon.

I think you are going to have to wait for the stool samples to come back to be sure of what is going on. There have been some fairly horrible D&V bugs doing the rounds.
One thing I would say as someone who has had salmonella, eat/drink nothing hot or really cold, go for room temp if possible and a packet of crisps is great for getting electrolytes in without upsetting the digestive system

Don't listen to 111, I thought my mum was having a stroke. It was sepsis. Sent an ambulance that took 8 hours... they should have known. They should have known, she's not with us now...

I still curse myself for not knowing.

Put your dad 1st... put him 1st.

I did with my mum and rang and rang and rang to chase that ambulance.

111 aren't doctors. They go off a script where serious things can be missed.

Just wanted to wish you and your family all the best x

Didn't read rest of post... hope your dad recovers quickly.

FYI, my experience with 111 haunts me with my late mother, suspected stroke that was sepsis. 8 hours.

She was slurring her words. Remember that sepsis causes people to slur words. It could save a life.

I think you have had quite a hard time on here too. Its an awful feeling the first time everyone in the room looks to you to be the Adult ! But you did it and got the help your Dad needed. So allow yourself a bit of space, go for a walk and try to decompress a bit, have a cry if you need one, have a drink if you fancy one and try and get some rest. Maybe get in touch with some local friends and organise to meet them for a coffee or a drink in the next couple of days

if they yhave done the tests, including a chest X ray
and sent him home
he is in a far better place
if there are no beds, then there are no beds.
so many people waiting to be discharged to unavailable social care
i hope he enjoyed his jacket potato and continues his recovery..

OP my other half had very similar symptoms (although not quite as bad but that’s probably because his a lot younger than your dad) a couple of months back, he was so ill I nearly called an ambulance for him and It takes a lot for me to get to that point.

Definitely stop with the Imodium, it took over 3 weeks for my OH to be better but stopping the Imodium really did help. There is an awful strand of E-Coli going around the UK atm it’s really brutal. Myself nor our DC got ill. Everything you’re saying sounds similar. Hope your dad is well soon

Of course you can carry out checks for cancer! How do you think it's diagnosed? There are scans that can be carried out. Some cancers show up in markers in blood work, etc etc.
My father was diagnosed and subsequently passed away of gastro-oesophageal. I was with him when they put a tube down his throat, into his stomach, with a camera on the end and confirmed the cancer.
Please don't be insensitive and don't tell me there are no tests for cancer.

FFS read the thread! He's been to hospital and been discharged home!

Why? He's already been sent home.

The poster was just saying that 'cancer' Isn't something you test for because there are many different types of cancers that need different types of scans/blood tests/samples to be detected.

But in order to know what tests to use, you need to suspect a type of cancer/have a differential diagnosis.

They said if it's anything, it's gastroenteritis but that makes 0 sense as my mum hasn't caught it.

@SadGirlAutumn D&V isn't always contagious if good hygiene is practised.

Im not jumping on the pile in OP, Im sure you have been very stressed and not thinking straight

However, I want to take umbridge with your exertion that the doctors discharged him "cos they wanted a quiet Sunday"

Do you really understand the pressure to find beds over the weekend?

Do you honestly think staff - from all grades - really want to walk around their ward and say this one, that one, CAN feasibly be at home so we can accept xxx who really really really needs urgent care. Every patient , I mean every patient, in a hospital bed is assessed daily by drs and nurses and they are graded as to how much their need is to the need of the person lying on a trolley in a corridor

To blame the medical staff and to state they "want a quiet sunday" just beggers belief

I left the NHS in 2000. I was bed manager, I had to make god dam awful decisions back then, I couldnt sleep, I was a wreck, I had a break down aged 32. The night of the hurricane in London, wasnt that that woke me, it was waking to the certainty that I had accepted two emergency admissions to the same bed !!! Back in 2000 we were hot bedding - ie, someone who was in a medical ward for obs or recovery, was put in a day room and we used their bed for a day case - 24 years ago and Im sure things are worse now. My own mum was in hospital for 3 months back in 2009 ( stroke/cancer and ongoing investigations and treatment ) they would ring and ask us to take her home for the day as her bed was needed and she was sent home every sunday so they could do a deep clean of the ward ( those who didnt have relatives to step in were left in chairs in the day room ) . We were also roped into being the taxi taking her to the appointments needed in the City

So you dad was seen, they did every test possible within their limitations, everything was fine. You even stated that he was laughing and joking. With the pressure to find beds, your dad was walking wounded, He had shown himself to be perking up quite quickly once rehydrated. He was well down the list for a bed

And Im sorry if thats harsh, but those are the pressures NHS workers have to face daily

I’ve been so dehydrated that i’ve ended up on IV antiemetics and fluids as an emergency admission after non stop/cyclical vomiting and I was flabbergasted at how fast I improved, from struggling to stay conscious or move to sitting up and talking almost normally. So I don’t think the speed of turnaround means the OP isn’t genuine.

I hope the drugs have reset his system a bit and he can begin to recover, OP.

I just wonder what, in your opinion or wishes, more they should have done for him? Full bloods scans urine/stool tests clear, been improved with fluids enough that he can now eat and kee things down, there isn’t a cause to ‘get to the bottom of’ for them. There is no indication for him to be in hospital other than diarrhoea at this point. Hell when I’m 70 years old I would like to be able to suffer in the peace of my own bathroom and not in a ward bay made for 4 patients that’s actually housing 6 and we’re all sharing the toilet.
I know it’s shitty when you don’t understand how the systems work and it can look like people are left with no help but you need to find something to be able to treat someone, otherwise the hospitals would be even more of state than they are now with everyone with a virus getting admitted for tlc.

Call 999.
Tell yhem he collapsed to the floor.
Tell them you cannot make sure if he is breathing or not.
Tell them you cannot find the pulse.

Once they come ask for names. Write down.
Tell them he has not taken any food for xy amount of days.
Tell them you have contacted medical teams for two weeks.
Tell them you will make direct PALS complaint to their hospital and follow their legal advice unles they treat him.

Or as one poster said
"Ring 999 and say he's now unconscious and has history or Aortic Aneurysm".

No one will check that shit and you can save your dads llife.

This is page 17/post 400+ of a thread started more than 24 hours ago. It is worth checking for updates from the OP before posting a long reply - things have moved on a bit...

It's a pain in the neck but do the 111 online with your dad's symptoms, I bet they will tell you that he needs an ambulance , which your Dad does, it's disgusting way they are ignoring and saying not an emergency, it's not like it's just happened today ,I'm guessing your dad is probably too weak to walk downstairs and get in the car anyway. So hope he gets seen to asap and he's OK OP

I think op is off baking some more potatoes!

Hope he’s feeling better. It does sound like a nasty virus. I’ve had loads of tummy bugs over the years, then this one time I got one that had me sobbing in agony with stomach pain, puking and diarrhoea over and over for days. I thought no way is this a tummy bug, I’ve had tummy bugs before and it’s not like this. But it was… just a very bad one. Never had anything like it before or since.

He's been seen, treated and discharged home again.

Sorry I didn't see all the posts before answering, glad he finally got to hospital , but discharged already , wow! as long as he's been treated properly