My dad is ill and I don’t know what to do

[SadGirlAutumn]

I live in Scotland for work and my parents live in Cornwall.

Two weeks ago my dad had a bit of an upset stomach. My mum brushed it off as nothing serious and bought him some Immodium. After 3 or 4 days, I called her to check how he was, he was still poorly so I asked if she'd rung the doctors. She said no.

About a week in, I said again, she should ring the doctors. Immodium was doing nothing. She said no, again, that it would work itself out.

After 10 days, she called the doctors who said he should have flat coke, some Immodium and it'll go away. He has done some tests at the doctors and they've basically shrugged, said it's not E-Coli. and to keep doing what he's doing. They said if it's anything, it's gastroenteritis but that makes 0 sense as my mum hasn't caught it.

It didn't so I came home last night to try and help out.

My dad hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. He's lost 40 pounds. Water makes him sick. He is going to the toilet at least 10 times an hour. The doctors don't want anything to do with him. He's being sick, nothing is coming up anymore because his system is totally empty. He can barely keep his eyes open. 111 has sent a doctor but it's "low priority" and they don't know what time they'll be here. He won't get in the car to go to hospital and between me and my mum we can't get him down, 111 said not to call 999 as he's already in the system.

I'm only 25. I'm so scared. I don’t know what I can do. He can't keep anything down and nobody wants to help us.

MumblesParty

Thank heavens. It's such a worry. Poor man must be starving. Good luck to you all.

OP I sympathise with you that you’re worried about your Dad, but the relentless slagging off of the NHS is really quite unnecessary. And I can assure you, they will not have discharged him so they can have “a quiet Sunday”, as you so rudely stated. There will have been a queue of other patients needing the bed. Do you seriously think patients are discharged so the doctors and nurses can sit around texting and watching TV?!!

Sadly there will be people that think exactly this - clueless and upsetting.

Once again - really?

I’m so sorry to hear this, you poor thing. When parents get ill it’s so scary. Both were ill. Unfortunately equally stubborn. I would be calling 111. Keep us updated and try and stay strong x

I meant both mine were ill

@SadGirlAutumn This is taking another tack- do you suffer from anxiety?
You've come all the way from Scotland to Cornwall and now you're 'taking over' at home.

I'm genuinely puzzled where your Mum is in all of this.

FWIW fatigue and being 'unable to walk' after severe D&V is common enough.
He's lost weight - 3 stone you said- and will have lost muscle mass.

Kindly, I advise you step away from this thread and focus on making sure your Mum is coping.

Do something useful perhaps like doing an online delivery food shop, so your parents have food in that your dad fancies and can eat.

Your parents are not ancient. It's not like they are late 80s or something. Your dad will recover.

Please stop saying he's been sent home to die. It's coming over (sorry) as if you have issues yourself that you need support with.

Scotland to Cornwall must be an absolute ball ache of a journey for you OP. At 25 you must feel v far from home.

You're out of date. Read ALL by the OP. He was admitted yesterday and is now home.

I think it's the other way round. Cornwall is her 'home' but she works in Scotland.

Yes that’s how I read it. So when she’s in Scotland she must feel v far from home.

@Girlslikepearls just seen thank you my web browser is playing up. Glad he’s home.

Well, presumably she chose to move..
Her dad is 70 and she's 25.
Presumably her mum is no older than 70 so she ought to be able to cope.

@FreshStart2025 Kindly, I think the OP needs to step back, not take on more and push for more.

I'm very sorry about your Dad but that was far, far removed from a bad case of D&V.

Her Mum is around and capable, we assume, and maybe siblings or other family?

My DD was sent home to die. He'd been diagnosed with cancer that had metastasised. The hospital knew this, they gave him his diagnosis, they promised more tests, and yet they discharged a man who couldn't stand on his own two feet or bare his own weight, he was more than visibly jaundiced with sweat dripping off him and he was sent home.

I've found this thread a little upsetting. I hope your DD only has a virus and recovers well.

But either way she's still far from home.

In your initial posts, you said that they wouldn't send an ambulance, it wasn't an emergency and it would be 12+ hours. It arrived within the hour, according to the time on your posts.
My colleague had a heart attack and had to wait 4 hours. So they did respond to you and take it seriously.

So sorry about your dad, my mum suffers with IBS and over the years the following has helped.
Best anti diarrhea diet options are -
Banana, rice, potato, white bread toast.
Especially popular in our family mashed banana with rice pudding made with soya or coconut milk.
No cows milk or dairy, but could have coconut yoghurt.

Can I also recommend enterosgel available in Boots but out of stock. Amazon link
It's a gel you drink in water, expensive but calms down everything.
It's says it's an Oral intestinal adsorbent.
Oral suspension for the treatment of:
• acute diarrhoea (stomach bugs, Travellers’ diarrhoea)
• irritable bowel syndrome with diarrhoea (IBS-D)
Reduces duration of acute diarrhoea and provides effective relief of the main symptoms of IBS-D: diarrhoea, abdominal pain, bloating and urgency.
Hope he improves soon

Without trying to cause any alarm. Have they checked for cancer?
My dad passed away of gastro-esophageal cancer and his signs initially were stomach upset, etc...the drastic weight loss is also worrying.
It may not be the case and I certainly hope it isn't but you should try to rule it out.

Tell me you know nothing about medicine without actually saying that.......'checked for cancer', there isn't a test that says yes or no cancer. Choice of tests depends on the presentation, history etc. Cancer is usually one of the differentials.

@SadGirlAutumn a similar think happened with my mum, pretty much same symptoms as your dad. For a year they couldn't figure out what was wrong with her, she went down to 5st - a 75 year old woman was in teenagers pj's and they were too big. She developed epilepsy was fitting constantly, so I'll not even ICU would take her as they said quality of life blah blah. She had terrible v&d, constantly daily, 4 times we were told to say goodbye to her. The strain became too much and she had a heart attack, again told to say goodbye. Following morning she's sat up laughing with the nurses and having a cuppa!

Another 4-5 months of this and they discovered she's a carrier of C-Diff and she was given probiotics to help settle her gut and that was a huge turning point. 4.5 years on and she is doing amazing. That year has had an effect on her, but she is doing amazing and you wouldn't recognise her from the frail lady essentially on her death bed x

How is he after the potato?

@SadGirlAutumn

What health issues do you have yourself ?

as you do write very dramatically, and indeed had to involve Mumsnet in changing the title of your thread as it was very dramatic - or are you a very anxious person.

You say you are ' only ' 25 - yes you are an adult, plenty of 25 year old women are married with families of their own so I am a bit puzzled at the ' only ' .

You have since said ' Going to do some research into it all, research into immune systems etc. to try and keep us all healthy over the winter so I don't bring any bugs home etc. '

but you don't live with your parents - you say you live in Scotland and your parents live in Cornwall.

Do you mean you will try and not visit at Christmas if you have a cold ?

Ring 111 again, tell them he's unconscious, cant detect a pulse ... anything. My husband was dead 3 days after he couldn't get to see a doctor.