My dad is ill and I don’t know what to do

[SadGirlAutumn]

I live in Scotland for work and my parents live in Cornwall.

Two weeks ago my dad had a bit of an upset stomach. My mum brushed it off as nothing serious and bought him some Immodium. After 3 or 4 days, I called her to check how he was, he was still poorly so I asked if she'd rung the doctors. She said no.

About a week in, I said again, she should ring the doctors. Immodium was doing nothing. She said no, again, that it would work itself out.

After 10 days, she called the doctors who said he should have flat coke, some Immodium and it'll go away. He has done some tests at the doctors and they've basically shrugged, said it's not E-Coli. and to keep doing what he's doing. They said if it's anything, it's gastroenteritis but that makes 0 sense as my mum hasn't caught it.

It didn't so I came home last night to try and help out.

My dad hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. He's lost 40 pounds. Water makes him sick. He is going to the toilet at least 10 times an hour. The doctors don't want anything to do with him. He's being sick, nothing is coming up anymore because his system is totally empty. He can barely keep his eyes open. 111 has sent a doctor but it's "low priority" and they don't know what time they'll be here. He won't get in the car to go to hospital and between me and my mum we can't get him down, 111 said not to call 999 as he's already in the system.

I'm only 25. I'm so scared. I don’t know what I can do. He can't keep anything down and nobody wants to help us.

This ^

My nan also had a low threshold for returning, she was 72. To return means to phone an ambulance, to be low priority, to carry (for my dad) my nan to the car, driving her supine to the hospital and then wait for 5 hours - well, you have just been released after a 'thorough' check-up 3 days ago, were you not? And then to die. The Ombudsman ruled 'she received appropriate care'.

Agree - sadly the system is massively overloaded and having done tests and ruled as much as they can taking up space and having a bed just to run tests just in the current state of affairs

rather than spiralling with anxiety (which I j ow isn’t easy) focus on the fact that he is now wanting foods and they have ruled out the worst case.

help,him get better

Please 999 now! The paramedics will be able to access him and I'm.sure they will take him in and he will get the care he needs. If you keep leaving it he will only get worse. Don't second doubt yourself, he clearly needs to be monitored in hospital before it gets too far. Xx

Phew, thank goodness! Xx

I work in a&e
Call 999. State patient has reduced level of concousness and severe dehydration. There's so many complications to do with dehydration etc. 111 are worse than useless. 999 now

The clapping caused a problem people are leaving healthcare because the public have no respect healthcare staff are not generally well paid and get dick of being yelled at and we can't just get staff from Europe it needs sorting but don't take it out of staff would you carry on working in ed if you got attacked

She's already this and he's been to hospital, been on a drip, improved and according to OP has been sent home to die.

Why on earth would I make this up? Do you think I'm having fun right now, watching my dad, one of the people I love most on this earth, struggling with everything? Watching him crying in bed because he feels so weak, listening to him being sick and knowing I cannot do a thing to help? Do you think people would lie?!

OP I get that you're young, but your use of hyperbole is very off putting. "They've sent him home to die""They don't care""they don't know what's wrong with him"

Tests are all clear.

They've told you it's a virus.

They've told you what to do.

He doesn't need to be in hospital.

Calm down.

I said that was how I felt, not what the doctors have said. All along I have maintained that the doctors are failing him and letting him down.

Also agree. The drama! 🙄

Try offering scrambled eggs - they are very easy to digest, perhaps with a little toast.
Jelly's good too, and gives fluids. He may be tempted by a little ice cream with it. Or an ice lolly
Mashed potatoes with white fish or chicken breast is also good
My mum was in a similar situation years ago after refusing to bother the gp, whilst she had food poisoning. She was severely dehydrated and very nearly dies. It took a while to get her eating again.and had to be foods which were gentle/easy to digest .
HTH

It probably hasn't help when you posted this at 3.10pm which was your call to 111
They said if we called it isn't an emergency and it would be 12+ hours, that if we call we're wasting resources on a busy day for them etc

Followed by this at 3.18m
999 this time, they said it's not an emergency and it doesn't warrant an ambulance

Followed by this at 3.21pm
The paramedic has just arrived so I'm hoping they can do something to help

So from 111 and 999 telling you an ambulance wouldn't be sent, within 20 minutes, a Paramedic and car and an ambulance all arrived.

You've then spent the rest of the time slagging off the NHS and ignoring the otherwise sensible advice and when your Dad was discharged, you've convinced yourself he has been sent home to die, despite being well enough to be discharged plus he has been eating today and keeping it down.

He very well might need further investigations but now he needs to go through his GP, A&E is not the place for him and he's more likely to pick up something whilst there

@SadGirlAutumn with the best will in the world you sound ridiculously over dramatic.

Google care for gastroenteritis - BRAN is the acronym.

Most people manage to avoid going to hospital with it because they manage to keep themselves hydrated at home. It's rare to actually poo/ vomit out more than you take in if you take small amounts of fluids often. It often takes a bit of time to settle down.

Oral rehydration stuff is better as it keeps your electrolytes in check. But if you really hate the taste any fluids - water/ squash/ flat coke/ lemonade etc is better than nothing.

Your Dad was discussed with the GP (or seen by the GP) and I bet they safety netted him ( saying if it doesn't get better call back). But no-one called them back to say there was still an issue as far as I can see from your many posts.

Instead you contacted 111 in a right old flap. Assessment at home seems to have produced the right result - he was seen and admitted for IV rehydration.

You can't have IV rehydration at home as it actually takes a bit of skill to manage an IV, prescribe the fluid and ensure you don't mess up the electrolytes.

A lot of the time a cause isn't found for gastroneteritis. And yes, most gastroenteritis is viral.

He hasnt been sent home to die!

He has been sent home because he has a viral d&v and the NHS is on its knees and sometimes has to chose the poorliest patients to give a bed to.

Palliative patients are sent home to die which is incredibly distressing for them and their families. As upseting as it is that your dad is not well, I suggest you chose your words more carefully OP.

Your Dad has lost almost 3 stones in 2 weeks?
(I think in stones, not pounds which is more US.)

Kindly, there is plenty of advice online on what to eat to get back to health after severe D&V.

Plain food like eggs, soups, rice, fish with white/ cheese sauce, yoghurts, custard, etc.

Just avoid rich fatty foods like pastry and fatty meats that are harder to digest.

Where is your Mum in all of this?

Why are you taking this on?

Your Dad isn't ancient. Surely if your Mum is late 60s she can cope and manage this?

Is there a slight possibility that your dad is a bit overdramatic too? 😅 I mean...he was knocking on heaven's door last night. Now he's home eating crackers and baked potatoes.

Where is your Mum?

Does she know you are panicking like this and being over-dramatic?

Sorry, I haven't read through the whole post yet, so apologies if this has been mentioned... the standard poo tests (through the post) are a lot less sensitive than a FIT test that is a poo test ordered if a patient has any worrying symptoms like your dad's. Please make sure a FIT test has been done for him.

Again, apologies if this has already been said.

Wishing your dad a swift recovery x

Weekends are never a good time to be in hospital, only acute care really happens and appropriate beds are hard to find. First thing tomorrow start chasing the scans, follow up care, gp etc. if he is eating and rehydrated he is likely stable until then at least. They would not have discharged him if there were risk of relapse and presumably you/dm did not refuse.

111 again and ask then to up the priority. They will arrange the ambulance urgently

@tommyhoundmum 111 sent a paramedic yesterday afternoon, he’s been in hospital, been on a drip, improved, now home and asking for food.