Annoyed at not being a lesbian

[Howdyboob]

Yea of course I'm generalising to an extent.

But honestly I'm sure we all know that women are more competent at life in 90% of areas.

Im straight and my DH is handsome and wonderful etc but good lord all of the men in my life husband family friends etc are absolutely useless without their female counterparts instructing them how to survive.

DH has had to sort his shit out in the last year because I've been on a rampage but FFS do men not understand that their value has enormously decreased since women too work?

I'm about ready to batter about 5 men I personally know.

In the last few years I've started to lose all respect for men. Since my wonderful dad died I feel like all adult men are 15yo boys.

My dad did most of the cooking when I was young. He also cleaned and maintained the house.

DH and I split jobs equally, but he’s much tidier than me.

I feel sorry for your father, brothers, uncles, sons etc.

My husband was a lovely kind, caring, considerate man most of the time. I wish he was still here…I wouldn’t have to sort out my own cars, holidays, gardner or cleaner 😂

Perhaps I’ve had a sheltered upbringing, or perhaps it’s an age/class/background thing, but I didn’t recognise most of things that cause such vitriol towards men on here, or recognise it from conversations among my friends. Maybe they just don’t want to talk about it though 🤷‍♀️

Don't get me started on that. I know several gay couples who are just living their best lives yet. And yes, not a thing out of place, in their homes, careers, and appearances. I'm not drunk, but I can generalise as if I were...I'm sure plenty of gay couples aren't like this. I just don't know them.

Want to add anymore disgusting prejudice to that statement?

How about black people? Asians? Jews? Muslims? Disabled people?

Surely your bitter hatred doesn't just stop at men, or is it that you think it's a more acceptable prejudice and that the others would get you an instant ban from this forum?

I’m with you on this today. My absolutely fantastic in other respects OH.
He made a dig about general organisation (like my mental load isn’t full to bursting) and so I clap back with “have you put your house on the market” and “have you cleared the storage unit”, to which I got “you haven’t given me the number for an estate agent”….its not my house. I called one and told him about it, and gave him their name. He never asked for the number and I didn’t want to push. This house was meant to be on the market in May. The storage unit - he moved storage units and I don’t know where it is. AND he said he was nearly done clearing it/wouldn’t take long/was happy to.

I’m pissed off. And also a little tipsy.

He does do a lot day to day but these important things that are costing us thousands of pounds, he says he will, doesn’t let me get involved, doesn’t deal, then complains I haven’t reminded him.

My parter was ‘trained’ well by his mum as a teenager

He can do everything and anything without instruction.
Cook, Clean, Laundry etc

Not All Men are useless

This is my husband and my father. Not great on a day to day level (though my husband much more aware than my father), but both work / worked demanding full-time jobs and are / were good providers, plus does all the "behind the scenes" stuff without comment.

My mother nags and criticises my father continually. She has done so for almost 60 years. But the truth is she lives in fear that he will die first - she hasn't a clue about all the administration he does for the home, and is terrified of living without him.

I’m sure your post isn’t saying that all men are terrible… it’s highlighting that women seems to play a bigger role in a mama life than a man does for a woman - typically and I see it all the time.

My partner is amazing and very domestic and was super independent when I met him (and he still is in terms of he does the cooking, does the cleaning - I know he will be OK if I left him with the kids - although he spent a long time being scared of the baby haha)

HOWEVER, He has a few ambitions and wants a career change and honestly, me pushing him seems to be the thing that gets him moving - otherwise he would be happy and comfortable. Or he wouldn’t necessarily go for his passions in the same way I have irrespective of having a man.

I admit that I’m generalising - but Michelle Obama put it perfectly on her documentary. Barack said to her “If you were still with your ex, you would be married to a restaurant owner instead of the president of the United States” to which she replied “if I was still with my ex, you wouldn’t be the president” 😅 could have been a joke - but sums it all up.

Men wouldn't naturally be stronger and have more muscle mass.

How does this prevent men from taking on equal household and childcare responsibilities?

OP I raise you to 30 years, and wholeheartedly agree

My ex husbands were bloody useless and I despised them for it. My DS is amazing and not at all useless. He was cooking for us at 13. But then he was brought up by me.
All my male friends are gay.
I am permanently disappointed I am not a lesbian.

Err, I was replying to another poster who said men and women weren't wired up differently. I pointed out we fundamentally are.

I think that very sexist. My youngest son is capable of, sensible, intelligent and caring. He can organise his life, cares about his mum, training as a medic, lives in London , just a nice ce young man. YABU

Women do the same thing. But backwards, and in heels. (Citation needed)

This is why I will never marry again.

You blame their mother but don't make a single mention of their father. Perhaps he had something to do with how his own sons turned out?

Or can you only blame women for male behaviour?

"I think that very sexist. My youngest son is capable of, sensible, intelligent and caring. He can organise his life, cares about his mum, training as a medic, lives in London"

Lives in London? 🤣

But sadly we are short on bison and wild fruit so those roles no longer exist in the UK.

However is is possible to adapt both the supermarket shop and being an estate agent to one’s (allegedly) innate hunting or gathering skills so I’m not sure it’s much of an explanation for the helplessness of which the PPs speak.

No they aren’t - what other group would you say that about? It’s not true of any general group of people.

They are however, more prone to domestic draft dodging and learned helplessness than women, from my observation. This doesn’t include my DP actually, which is lucky, given I am the Queen of Chaos, but even so, I don’t draft dodge.

Well, this is where (functional) gay and lesbian couples come in. Because they can’t fall back onto sex-based stereotypes and assumptions, they divide responsibilities up by inclination and talents, job demands and stress, etc. And this is true even of many couples who prefer the ‘butch-femme’ dynamic.

I'd love to be a lesbian! Someone to potter round shops with and watch romantic comedies. Dance together when we go out.

My mum lived in fear of dying first as dad couldn't and had never cooked, cleaned, paid bills. He had no idea what running a house entailed because in the 70 years he had been on the planet he had never had to. He learnt a bit when she was terminally ill. When she died he just got on with it. He dies his shopping, grows his own fruit and veg. Does his pots, hoovers, washes. I do have to help abit with bills sometimes but on the whole he's done well.

Ginger Rogers

I think in general men are more comfortable in a squalor type environment. They'll have a room or a home but it will either be messy or really minimalist (lacking any homey touches.) Imo women tend to elevate/bring up mens standard of living. A lot of men would live in a barn and say everything was fine if it meant they didn't have to clean.

This! I don't need to be a lesbian, I need to be adopted by one of those gay couples 🤣