Apart from a bereavement- what has been the greatest sorrow of your life?

[Insywinsy2]

I know pretty morbid but I have been reflecting on life recently now that I’m getting closer to 40.
I have experienced loss with close family passing away but the greatest sorrow in my life is only having my children 50/50 since their dad left a few years ago. It still fills me with such grief knowing that, although I do agree it is best for them to spend time with us both.

What's the irony?

In this order - daughter detaching from the family & stopping us seeing our beautiful grandchild, son having mental health problems (now improved but in & out of hospitals & acute care for years). Trauma.

PorridgeIsNotSlimmingTheWayIMakeIt I agree about Oct 7th d impact on me.

Images and descriptions still affect me.

You've just proved my point thank you x

No...do tell us. Or is there a reason you don't want to?

But anyway.. did you google the term holocaust inversion? Do feel free to educate yourself

My first business failing when I was 23. The shame I felt and the financial troubles I went through were awful.
2nd fertility troubles and a couple of 2nd trimester losses, the first one I had in particular as it was my first pregnancy has stuck with me and my thoughts often wander to that time.
Bereavement of my dear Nana who I adored and it came as a great shock when she passed. At any milestones in my life I nearly always have a little cry about her not being here.

Here we go

Didn't take long

That I never cleaned my teeth as a child, and had a terrible diet. I always cleaned them as an older teenager and adult, but the damage was so great they've just been crumbling for years and now I'm looking at a full extraction and I'm only in my thirties. It's affected my whole life

My divorce and subsequent aloneness.

My mother dying.

My DS falling out and blanking me for 2.5 years. He's back now living with me and DD and on good terms but there is always a gap.

What's saved me has been my closeness with DD, the kindness of my closest friends and a meaningful career.

Watching my daughter lose out because of her panic disorder and agoraphobia. She lost out educationally compared to her peers and now seeing them all get their grades and go to university breaks my heart.

David Bowie’s death. it took six years til I stopped feeling sick whilst thinking about it.
The awful, skeletal like music video he released days beforehand absolutely did not help in any way shape or form*
But that would have been done on purpose, because he loved to break conventions. The git
*but it did help me mentally prepare for what to expect of my mum’s rapid death from lung cancer.

Two years ago at Xmas I discovered my husband was having an affair. We had been together since high school and I gave up my whole world for him - my degree to have his children, then my country when he wanted to study abroad, then my own family as we ended up remaining in America. I kissed beloved grandparents growing ill and dying, didn’t see my own mum for 12 years.

nothing in my life has hurt me like this. Not the affair which I forgave, but the fact he has made no effort to repair our marriage since then. I have spent the past two years in total limbo stuck living here with him as before, even sharing the bed etc but no physical connection anymore. The affair is long since over but the heartbreak continues daily for me. I’ve had two hospital stays for mental health since and have scars all over my arms from self harm because it is the only thing that helps get the pain out properly.

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I’d rather he had murdered me.

Your post has really moved me . It just shows how trauma can affect people throughout their lives . An air of sadness about them really does describe it.

Some of you need to read the room having a go at @PurpleChrayn so she shares about something and you use it to have yet another go about a topic that some of you sound unbelievably uneducated in. Even @Insywinsy2 op had a go at you. And no I won’t post my greatest sorrow on your self indulgent thread.

Hello everyone, we are getting quite a few reports about this thread so could we ask for a little peace and love. Mumsnet's aim is to make parents' lives easier by pooling knowledge, advice and support - not more difficult. So please bear this in mind when posting.
MNHQ

I was ill throughout my teens until mid twenties and it’s left me so behind in life.I wasn’t in a financial position to live independently until I was 30. Now I’m about to enter my mid 30s and I’m terrified I’m not going to be able to have children now as I just can’t afford them currently. It’s compounded by the fact I’m currently single, going to need fertility treatment to conceive and I’m not eligible for NHS treatment unless I self fund first.

I keep telling myself I did the right thing by getting a house first, and if I do have children they will have somewhere safe and secure to live, but as I get older I’m starting to regret it. 😭

DH's daughter ghosting him on Christmas Eve and going NC. This was because her brother and his wife tried to steal 10k from us and we refused to allow it. They all went NC because we would not be stolen from basically.

DH cried every day for a year.

My sorrow is also that we loaned the money in the first place. If we had said we didn't have it to loan, maybe none of the above would have happened although I suspect they would all have gone NC at the point of refusal and the NC would have happened anyway.

Hi @PipMumsnet I find it hard to understand why my post was deleted. I was expressing sympathy with Jewish Mnetters who are dealing with the rise in Antisemitism - from people they thought were friends - post Oct7.

None of the OP's posts, which were far from supportive of those traumatised by that terrorist attack, have been deleted. So its OK for the OP to be unsympathetic to Jews but not OK for me to post in sympathy ? and if IRC also express sympathy for all innocent victims of this war.

Thank you so much to those who have responded so kindly to my post. Reading the experiences of some people on here makes me wonder how they find the strength to go on. My husband has dementia and is mostly living in a world of his own, which is adding to my sense of loneliness. But, Hoppitybun, I will do it again. Because the years of joy outweigh the pain in the end. I hope you will too when your feelings are less raw.

The saddest thing in our family is my sister having her first child as a teen with a "bad boy" who had a long criminal record having been dating him about a month. Fast forward to my niece hitting puberty, she started to change and become like a different person. Years later she was later diagnosed with two cluster B personality disorders. Now, we've had to go no contact due to her abusive behaviour, and her younger sister hardly has a relationship with her either.

Big, big hugs, me too. And dealing with disbelieving imbeciles all the way along