Apart from a bereavement- what has been the greatest sorrow of your life?

[Insywinsy2]

I know pretty morbid but I have been reflecting on life recently now that I’m getting closer to 40.
I have experienced loss with close family passing away but the greatest sorrow in my life is only having my children 50/50 since their dad left a few years ago. It still fills me with such grief knowing that, although I do agree it is best for them to spend time with us both.

Like others bereavement does put everything into perspective but outside of this, I'm with CattyisBatty, The ChosenTwo and GorgeousTulips my child's poor mental health and subsequent struggle has been a heavy sorrow.

Being betrayed by a very good friend. It took me years to get over it.

Off topic, but you should be proud of your daughter that she is able to form her own opinion. Surely you can be proud to be Jewish, but not to support a genocide.

I've lost a lot of family to cancer 2 aunts a sister a younger brother I also lost my dog who had ben my constant throughout all that loss I lost her a couple of months after my last loss my aunt who I was extremely close too. I think that was the straw the broke the camels back I dealt with my sister and brothers death as best I could but my aunt and my dog (she was more a child to me) I can't bear to think of either 7 years later and it still floors me . My grandad I lost when I was 16 he died unnecessarily due to a bowel rupture. I've never really gotten over losing him he was my only grandparent and the closest thing I had to a father growing up. I was a teenager and didn't spend barely any time with him before he passed that's a guilt I'll always carry it's never gone away and I know it never will .

My mums dementia as she slowly lost everything that was her and had a personality change with it that was awful. Not a lovely fluffy look at old photos together dementia, a spitting food and shouty dementia.

Miscarriage and fertility treatment, childhood cancer ward with ds, seeing my ds struggle due to his autism. Probably need some counselling.

You have my deep sympathy. Same here. The feeling that one child is a tortured soul who will never ultimately be happy. And the effect that has on the other child.

Up to this point, my DDs recent diagnoses with a life changing medical issue. 😞

I lost my eldest daughter but taking beravement out of it (I know it is not that simple), navigating the SEND system, school issues and all that goes with it with one of my other daughters. I feel broken in a different way, it's ongoing.

Thanks everyone for sharing. The poor MH of my (young) children was not something I ever really considered but this has really made me think

Not being a mother

Dealing with all the illness that lead to the bereavements. Watching loved ones descend into dementia is so heartbreaking, as is watching cancer progress. The trauma from those is worse than the bereavements for me.

Watching my uni going vibrant daughter become completely disabled to the point of needing 24hr care withing 2 months. Unknown cause and no treatment. So watching her mind be the same and her body give up.

I would give anything to trade places with her.

My divorce and the subsequent having to lose time with my children to a man I despise and who despises me.

All that lost time with them that I can never get back.

My unhappy childhood and the fact I will never remember a happy childhood. Then having to undo all the damage and estrange myself from any family. Grieving something I never had and grieving parents that have not actually died.

My relationship with my siblings.

This.

DD2 spent all summer sitting in her room and refusing to go out. We have a counsellor, psychiatrist, medication, meetings with school but nothing is helping yet. I literally don’t know what else to do and it’s breaking my heart.

Sympathies and love to all who have shared here. Mine is not as bad but devastating to me nevertheless. My husband and best friend of 17 years recently had an emotional affair, the depth and strength of which shocked me. I've never felt heartbreak, loss or shock like it.

Watching my (then) 17 year old DD in an abusive relationship and being unable to do anything about it. Police and school involved. It directly led to her having to make different choices about her future. It nearly split us as a family and affected her mental health severely for several years.

This thread is heartbreaking and full of brave women posting.

Realising that my family really don’t have my back and prefer stoicism over gentleness and support.

Having to go NC with my mother after realising (fairly recently) that despite being a lovely mum in lots of ways she enabled my stepfather's SA of me. She defended him when I tried to raise it with her and that was the death knell for our relationship, I'm so hurt and disappointed in her and have to carry that sorrow everyday. The worst thing is I could, I think, have forgiven her for what happened when I was a child but know I never can for defending him now, that cut me to the bone.

Multiple miscarriages.
My only child announcing that they're emigrating to Canada when they've finished their degree.

Not getting married or having children.

My FIL being taken by dementia was a horror. The battle to preserve some of his dignity was awful.

But discovering my DH’s affair has been the most sorrow I’ve felt apart from bereavement. It was quite recent and the pain keeps evolving. I can’t actually articulate the feeling of loss and I’m currently struggling with anger towards myself that has robbed me of any safe harbour.

People think my greatest sorrow must be my youngest child’s multiple and severe disabilities but it’s not. He’s actually one of my greatest joys.

My greatest sorrow is the breakdown of my then 36 year old marriage 10 years ago. I’ll never get over it though I have gone on to make a good and happy life for me (and my children and grandchildren) Broken hearts are real. I can testify to that. And though I’m not divorced and will never be divorced the fact that me and my children and grandchildren are now like strangers to my husband is bewildering and something we can’t understand to this day. It is what it is I guess. But my/our heads and our hearts are still like spindryers.