Holiday & DD's friend is a no show

[unapprentice]

I booked a little caravan holiday for me, DD9 & her bestie a couple of months ago. Her mum was very eager for her to come & the girls were really excited. Messaged a few days ago & she said how excited her DD was and thanked me profusely, and confirmed she'd drop her to our house before 4pm, and we'd leave about 4.

Haven't heard anything from the mum today - it says she's active on Facebook but my messages are unread. I've messaged & called her auntie too but no response.

My DD has autism/ adhd and she's going to be so heartbroken! Seems really mean if she is just blanking me. I don't know her well tbh - must admit I was a bit surprised she was up for me taking her (not sure I would be) but she was & it just seems so harsh to do this now. Not sure what to do, should I cut my losses and leave without her at 5pm? Its only an hour down the road so no big rush but seems unlikely she's coming now & my DDs just getting more and more stressed with the not knowing 😔😔

How strange to tell you that her dd is so excited and then nothing today. I hope the little girl is ok and it isn’t some kind of emergency. If she’s just ignoring you because she’s changed her mind, then that is awful on you and your dd

Assume you know the address? Does friend also have additional needs? The active flag just means they are logged in , not necessarily monitoring the phone.

Gosh that’s horrible OP. There would have to be an incredibly good excuse for doing this. Keep us updated.

Awww how disappointing for your DD. I hope you get to the bottom of it and there is a reasonable explanation for her not coming. x

Maybe a miscom about which day?!

Does she think you were picking her Dd up?

Some people are just rude. No social graces whatsoever.

Someone in my running club called me via Facebook. Not sure how. Can you look into how that's done?

That's really rubbish for your dd.

Let's hope at least there is a genuine reason for the DD's no show, even though her mum lacked the common decency to let you know.

At the top of the chain of messages, rap the phone icon and it will call them. I do it all the time 😊

Really can’t imagine how this would be conceivable without phone numbers. The relationship isn’t there is it - you wouldn’t let your kid go off with someone when you don’t even have their number.

My daughter would’ve been keen to go, and then have an epic meltdown so I would need to work out if it’s going to calm down enough for her to go somewhere - not that I would leave the other mum hanging.

Just leave if you're all packed up and it's only an hour away.
If the mother has mixed dates up etc she can drop her off when she realises.
Wondering if they expected friend to be picked up and the mother is at work?
Worst case scenario the mother knows its 4pm drop off but one of these people who thinks everyone can wait around until she is ready/home from work/shopping etc.

Given that you know that surely you wouldn't have agreed in the first place though so unlikely to be the case here

I can only think that there has been some kind of emergency, the other mum has mistaken the date or shes really rude and doesn't deserve you to bother with her again

Oooh oh no.

Same here, but I've always communicated with the parent about what exactly was happening, as my DS stalled, wavering about sleepovers, like a ten-year-old Hamlet.

Though I do agree with others. I can't imagine letting my child go on holiday with someone for whom I didn't even have a phone number, even if it's not far away.

Just try and soothe your daughter as much as you can, OP. It happens all the time. A friend of mine booked a flight to the US for her ten-year-old daughter's friend, to accompany them on the annual holiday to a family house they had use of in upstate NY. Only of course the girls had drifted apart long before the departure date...

That’s really rubbish of them! Hopefully there is a valid excuse.

I hope you have a nice time anyway.

Oh no. I feel so bad for your DD. I hope there is a good reason.

That is so flakey! I think you can only be honest with your DD and say I can't get hold of them and I don't know where they are. Then set off and have a fabulous time together. Double money at the arcades sounds like a win! x

Hope you get to the bottom of it soon...my DD was let down a lot by friends and family when she was little, so I've been in your position, although my DD is not ND..

If it turns out to be a dick move from the mum then as sad as it is now, at least you know what kind of person they are. And it is nice when the trash takes itself out!

Either way, wishing you both a lovely holiday. You sound like a wonderful mum ❤️

You did right not lying to your DD OP
Like you said they're going to see each other at school so pointless lying

It sounds really bad that she's done this ☹️
I'd be thinking she'll be coming back with an excuse for it all when she does communicate ☹️

I have previously been a socially flakey person I will admit, but I would never do that! It's terrible. It's a mean thing to do to a child, and incredibly rude.

I’d find it frustrating for you too as holidays are so much easier when they have a friend!… I hope you get to relax x