Holiday & DD's friend is a no show

[unapprentice]

I booked a little caravan holiday for me, DD9 & her bestie a couple of months ago. Her mum was very eager for her to come & the girls were really excited. Messaged a few days ago & she said how excited her DD was and thanked me profusely, and confirmed she'd drop her to our house before 4pm, and we'd leave about 4.

Haven't heard anything from the mum today - it says she's active on Facebook but my messages are unread. I've messaged & called her auntie too but no response.

My DD has autism/ adhd and she's going to be so heartbroken! Seems really mean if she is just blanking me. I don't know her well tbh - must admit I was a bit surprised she was up for me taking her (not sure I would be) but she was & it just seems so harsh to do this now. Not sure what to do, should I cut my losses and leave without her at 5pm? Its only an hour down the road so no big rush but seems unlikely she's coming now & my DDs just getting more and more stressed with the not knowing 😔😔

I think we all know the sort, based on the reply alone. I feel for the daughter who has missed out. Hope you're still having a wonderful time.

I really hate flakes. Most of us learn at some point growing up that if we've agreed to do something with someone we can't just not do it if we later decide we don't feel like it any more. We not if we still want to have friends who invite us to things.

I think I leaned that lesson aged 12 or so.

Bluntly, OP, this kind of reponse, and your fear of responding assertively, is exactly why you're in the situation. It's very easy to behave badly to someone who is putting so much energy into making excuses for you, and who will definitely never make you feel any negative consequences from said bad behaviour.

There's absolutely no need for rudeness or drama. In your shoes, I would have replied 'You clearly have something going on, but I would have appreciated a heads-up before the time we had agreed your DD would join us for the weekend, as your failure to respond to my messages delayed our departure and has left my DD very disappointed. I understand last-minute things can happen, but a message or call would have taken moments.'