I thought it was a Mumsnet myth until today!

[Toddlerteaplease]

Baby having its nappy changed in the middle of a cafe. 🤮 I didn't think it actually happened! This is the same cafe that also has signs in the toilets, to remind people that toilet roll goes in the toilet, not the bin. This is on a University campus of a well respected university!

I've seen people plunk the baby down on the table and change diapers in various states. In some cases there's no need to look if you can smell. But it's always been after the table was cleared and wiped (never seen it done on a table with a tablecloth!) Not sure if they alerted the staff so the table could be wiped down again afterwards; I hope so.

I worked in a cafe for a while. I remember looking on in horror as a customer changed her baby's #2 nappy on the table. She then left the dirty nappy sitting on a plate which I had to clean up when they left. Absolutely disgusting. We had a bathroom with changing facilities and a nappy bin about 3 metres from her. She wasn't on her own either and it shocked me that no one in the group told her not to do it or to clean up after!

I've changed wet nappies in the pushchair. Lots of places have very limited baby changing facilities, some cafes near me have a mat you are supposed to just put down on the floor of the loo. Others are absolutely filthy and involve wiping other children's piss up before you can change. My local train station has them in the disabled loo, which is locked by Radar key.

I usually try to go outside if Im going to do it, but in the corner of a half empty cafe doesn't seem totally unreasonable to me. Take dirty nappy home, bit of hand sanitiser. Fine.

Lots of things other people do repulse me more, especially pet owners swinging bags of dog crap as they walk past you, or expecting you to eat while their dog licks its anus next to you. And statistically a pretty large proportion of people don't ever wash their hands, even after having a dump.

We were all in nappies at one point, and will no doubt return to them in time.

I saw someone doing it to a toddler on the pavement in the middle of a crowded high street once! I assume it must have been a desperate situation, but really - poor kid.

You can buy radar keys from amazon- just saying. I did because DS although he is mobile and does not look disabled had a severe fear of hand dryers which made it impossible for us to use toilets that other people might also be using.

He's fine now- and I gave my key to my mother who has severe bladder issues which means she simply cannot wait - when she needs to go she needs to go. She does use incontinence pads but floods through in a second.

Agree with this

Floor of Primark or random pavement are preferable to a cafe where people are eating and drinking

A quick nappy change in the pram doesn't offend me in the absence of proper facilities if the parents do what they can to safeguard the child. What I do find more shocking is how some parents have absolutely no respect for their child's privacy/dignity. No way would I be allowing the general public to see my child's genitals. The only people I'll change my child in front of is people I'd allow to look after/change them (pretty much only our parents and siblings).

Was there a baby change in the toilet? I work in a university and there is no baby change in my entire department. I went for coffee with colleagues in the department cafe while on mat leave and used to dread DD needing a nappy change as there was just nowhere to do it (luckily she never did). Lots of cafes near me also don’t have baby change tables.

I do!

It's an eating establishment not a toilet!

Did the mum go to the loo to wash her hands afterwards?

I was once in a Costa with a friend who whipped out her daughters potty and let her take a shite in it right at the table 🙃

It's summer. Do it outside or find a loo with a change station. At least there are quite a few of those around these days

What is wrong with people. Was out with some mums the other day and one mum changed her babies nappy on the table!!! I was like wtf. Especially as one of us had just come back from the very well equipped baby change in the cafe. I wish I’d said something now but I was so shocked she thought it was ok.

@Nanny0gg no she didn't wash her hands!

I had a horrible experience at an arboretum cafe once.

Was with my 6 month old and 4 year old and had arrived there early for an event straight from the school run. I had several bags, coats, sling, changes of clothes etc. I needed to change the baby's wet nappy but could NOT persuade my 4 year old to come to the loos. 4yo was starving and starting to lose it so I bought them a snack and a hot chocolate.

The cafe was empty (not a single other person) and I was at the back so I got down on the floor with my changing mat (covered in mud - it's an arboretum) and set about changing the wet nappy.

During this, baby is trying to roll/crawl away, and my 4 year old put salt in the hot chocolate, and was then crying about the drink now being too salty (quelle surprise).

A man, the owner's son, came over and scolded me. He said what I was doing was "disgusting" and that I should have used the loos. He then stood there silently watching while I continued to try and dress a crying, slithery, wriggly baby and console an overtired, distraught child.

In my sleep deprived state, I just couldn't handle it. I felt so judged and intimidated that I took my crying children home and forfeited going to the event.

I look back and recognise I should have tried harder to get both kids into the loo with all of our many belongings, but these seemingly simple tasks can just feel like insurmountable challenges when you've got a baby.

Maybe this woman is having a tough time and she made a quick call on a wet nappy because it didn't impact anyone and she needed to take the path of least resistance.

Aren't we judged harshly enough already? Can't we be a bit more compassionate to each other? Parenting is really fucking tough and being a woman who is constantly under the highest scrutiny makes that even tougher.

What's the relevance of it being in a "well respected university!" ?

That's crazy.

Also shows how OP's story isn't NEARLY as bad 😂

A wet nappy changed in a pram isn’t really that big of a deal.
Dirty nappy different story.

I’ve had to do it in the boot of my car a couple of times when out alone with my twins and the buggy didn’t fit in the changey.

I don't see anything wrong tbh. The pram is probably a lot cleaner and more comfortable than public bathrooms. You didn't have to look.

@WheresMySupportCat I'd say to her 'you can't do that there'! Did no one say anything? Totally unacceptable.

I can't believe multiple people are saying this is fine. Raise your standards ffs

Oh mate, what a day. I'm so sorry you didn't have someone with more compassion there for you. I had a very similar situation when my second was brand new (empty cafe, iron willed toddler!) and the waitress offered to watch the toddler whilst I took the baby to the change room. Did a lightning change, rushed back and they were sat at the table calmly colouring together. I genuinely cried. Other people can make all the difference in these situations.

I really don’t think it’s bad to change a little baby’s wet nappy in a cafe. I used to do it on my lap all the time and once I had toddlers and a baby I really had no choice. Very uptight to mind about this!

No-one said a word. Like i said- she was the Queen Bee. There were glances exchanged though.

It was quite a seminal moment for me tbh, She held herself out as being so damned superior. Nup.

That was the day I realised I did not have to go about and do stuff with people, just because our babies were roughly the same age. As DH said 'Just because we had sex in roughly the same month that they all had sex does not mean we have anything else in common'.