Have you ever been seriously over or underdressed at an occasion? Or learned you were just before getting there?

[AnnListersBlister]

What did you do?

Mine happened a few years ago with a newish friend. He'd just split with his girlfriend and was upset that he had no date for a party he was going to-his Mum and stepfather's anniversary. He asked if I'd come and I said of course-love me a good party.

This friend was a bit of a scruff truth be told. Obviously it didn't bother me as I liked him a lot and I am not concerned about things like that but it is relevant because my mind must've thought 'friend and party=casual'. He lived in jeans and T shirts, his work clothes were a bit too large for him but he didn't care, his house was a bit of a tip, he liked his rocky music and rougher pubs-all in good fun, we got on well.

It was summer and I found myself in a strange town with him before the party where he was last minute buying them a present. I don't know what it was, but something brought a cold wave of reality over me when I realised that this wasn't going to be a casual event at all. I think from something friend said.

We went into a shop where he was choosing a photo frame and I made an excuse about needing some last minute make-up supplies and ran outside. I had about 10 minutes and the only shops I could see were a charity shop and a small, independent shoe shop. I ran into the charity shop and hurriedly rushed around like a madwoman but VERY luckily found myself a lovely black silky midi-dress.
Stuffed it in handbag.

Ran across to shoe shop. Very luckily for me spotted a pair of strappy heels in the sale and snapped them up.
Ran outside to friend looking around for me, apologised and told friend that I'd just realised that the heels I'd brought with me might be a bit too painful to wear all night so I decided to pop into a shop and buy some others.

He bought it.

It was a fab night.

Now I am writing this I am thinking the more wise of MNters are all going to say that I should have said 'Sorry friend, I am just realising that this might be a bit more of a formal affair than I thought, would you mind if I just go off and look at clothes for half an hour?'

But yes, that's not me. --Plus I think if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd have made sure my friend knew what sort of party it was!

Okay, that makes sense-you've now accepted what suits you.

My Grandmother was the same with me when I was a young girl/teen.

As a child I was never bothered about clothes. I hated dresses and just liked to wear things that were comfy. She hated that.

As a teen I loved rock and metal music (still do!) and my style reflected that. She'd looked forward to taking me shopping for girly clothes and to get my hair done. I wasn't interested and dragged her around all sorts of weird and wonderful grungy alternative shops in the city.

She'd love me now but alas she's long gone. I am very feminine in my style now, in my 40s!

@GreenPoppy - she didn't want to go to an event. She replied to me that she felt obligated. It was the post directly above mine.

age about 20 i was living away in london
came back home and went out to a pub, wearing my cool i thought jeans and a sweatshirt all the locals were dressed up for a night club!

Yes but this was December.

I do miss May day in Oxford, breakfast in the pub and the guy sitting next to you is soaking from jumping in the river.

When I started uni there wasn't room in halls and a group of us were in temporary accommodation off campus.
The flyer for Freshers ball said definitely not black tie. So we went in our usual grunge attire.

We get there and everyone was dressed up.

When I was younger to a bbq I went in full make up and out fit like ibiza pool party. Everyone else totally causal in shorts etc plain

I love the sound of that! Northerner. Don't think I've ever been to Oxford.

I love Oxford for fancy dress! As in ball fancy rather than Halloween. So much tradition and flounce!

If it was Sainsbury’s in the Westgate, they will have seen it all, including me at 8 am in a floor-length black dress and fake fur after a ball accompanied by a woman wearing full hunting costume from the knees up, complete with horn, and rugby socks and runners below the knee, both of us craving toast.

Many years ago I met a guy in a club and he asked me if I would like to go to a bbq he was going the next day. It was to be held in Windsor great park. I was 20 and completely clueless.
The guy worked for a very rich family as their financial advisor.
He didn't give me any clues about what I should wear so I decided a wool type pencil skirt with matching top and burgundy kitten heels would be perfect.
He turned up in his Land Rover complete with two gorgeous but smelly Labradors.
We drove up to London (about 70 miles) stopped at the house of his employers. It was amazing, several very high end cars parked in front of the stables. Then onto the BBQ.
Got there and I wanted to die, everyone was in wellies jeans etc. Then I saw her from a distance, HM the queen in a Mac, wellies and head scarf. Prince Philip was also there.
I'm not sure what the event was but there were lots of horses. It was muddy and my kitten heels kept sinking. This was 45 years ago and I still cringe at my humiliation. I can't believe my date didn't warn me.

Love this story. Very Jilly Cooper

It was DH's twenty something birthday in the mid 00s and he decided he wanted to go bowling and then onto a club. I thought I'd dress up as we were going "out out" after bowling so there I was in a nice skirt and top combo completely over dressed with everyone else around me in jeans and t-shirts and I had to take my heels off and put on the bowling shoes which looked ridiculous with my outfit! I had to hold my skirt down every time I had my go otherwise I'd flash everyone but I thought it'd be fine once we got to the club - DH then turns around once we're all done and says she doesn't fancy the club as we'd been drinking all afternoon so I didn't need to dress up at all, could have worn jeans but instead looked like a tit all evening for no reason!

Many times, sadly.

Once I went to a dinner where the dress code was Formal and there was a member of the royal family as the guest of honour. I was very heavily pregnant but found a black lace maternity cocktail dress, heels and fancy earrings and even got my hair done ( I don’t know why I thought this would distract from my enormous 8 month bump ).

All the other women were in floral summer maxi dresses and everyday hair / make up. I was seated next to the ( female ) principal of the university who looked me up and down in disgust as if I was a Love Island hopeful and pointedly ignored me for the whole meal.

Fortunately the man on the other side was someone terribly important from Microsoft ( head of Europe or something like that ) who was a jolly nice chap and we chatted about plants and gardening all night ( shared hobby ).

Yet another tale of men not thinking things through!

Visiting Naples with friends and a friend of a friend's sister had offered to show us round some touristy stuff and then out later.

It wasn't summer but warm enough that we were all in shorts and vest tops while the locals were wearing down jackets.

We dropped into the friend of a friend's sister's apartment on the way back to our hotel to get changed.

One drink turned into several in her gorgeous enclosed courtyard with orange and lemon trees so we never made it to the hotel to get changed.

She took us to this amazing swanky bar where they slid back a painting to let you in. I don't think we'd have got in had she not been with us!

You can imagine the looks of disgust of the young slim chic Italians at being faced with several pasty Scottish women in shorts and vest tops. 😂

I probably overdress a lot of the time. I went to my local village pub recently in a long dress that some might wear to a wedding, and rainbow high heels. Everyone else in jeans or shorts and T shirts. But I am too old for many weddings nowadays and rarely get the chance to dress up.WFH so no work dos. Don't go to many 'things' nowadays so I make the most when I go out, even if It's just somewhere normal.

In primary school my dd was invited to a class birthday party, the invitation said to come in fancy dress. We got there and I was rather flummoxed as to why the girls were all wearing what I would describe as bridesmaid dresses. The host looked very flummoxed as to why dd was dressed as an alien. It turned out she meant fancy dress and I was the only one who didn't get the memo!

I was working for the NHS, at least 2/3 of the department were Northerners. It was a different world.

But the charity shops and second hand shops. I got a silk taffeta ballgown for £10, it cost me more to have it cleaned.

First day of Year 8.
We had a new head teacher who'd "phased out" school uniform . Of 2000 pupils in the school, I was one of only 3 wearing any at all, and the only 1 who was wearing the full works.

But it’s not clear whether the poster asked him? If that's the world he moved in, and they’d only just met, he’s highly unlikely to have known she was confusing BBQ with a Buckingham Palace garden party and he needed to ‘warn’ her….? If he showed up in jeans and wellies with dogs in the car, that was clearly a signal she might have misinterpreted and got him to give her a lift home to throw on jeans?

Age 14 school Christmas disco. 1980s. Bit of a tomboy and didn’t really follow fashion but wore a skirt, midi length flaired, and a short sleeved blouse. Arrived to see everyone in black pencil skirts and oversized shirts. Spent the evening hiding in the corner as much as poss. 🙈

Around 14 years ago, when I was around 22ish, my now boyfriends (now DH) father was given a CBE and I was invited to come along to the celebration meal afterwards.

He gave no information of WHERE this meal would be or its formality, just gave me the date/time/nearest tube to meet at, so me knowing very little, just assumed it would be a family thing in a nice gastro pub or something. At this time, I was doing an internship at a reproductive health charity, so warned my boyfriend I’d have to come for the lunch straight from work (which was casual dress, just jeans and a nice top level), which he said was absolutely fine.

On the day, I meet him at the train station as planned and it turns out the meal is at The Goring, and where everyone is very nicely and formally dressed, I am horribly casual in comparison. My boyfriend even looked surprised I was in jeans and commented on it, to which his now fully CBE’d father murmured ‘yes well, let’s try not to draw attention to it….’

I felt awful and was fuming at my husband for not thinking it would have been important to say the meal was somewhere so formal!! Thankfully we can all laugh at it now and my FIL always tells me not to feel bad about it because ‘DH has always been bloody useless at anything to do with social events’.

I was at a new Company and invited to their big Do. Fancy dress. 70s themed. I cobbled together an outfit. There was no one else in FD. Apparently the actual formal invitation said optional, and I'd not had that. Mortified.

Hated that place anyway!

@Mikunia how long ago was this? Maybe the Author of Bridget Jones was there and you were the inspiration!

I might go through this thread and count how many instances have involved men not explaining things well! Maybe I should begin a thread about the same! 😂